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Is it me.....

EVILSTEPMOTHER75's picture

Submitted by EVILSTEPMOTHER75 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 11:30am

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I have a 20 SS, 18 SD, 8 BS and a 3BS. So much has happened and there really is not enough time to type it all. We all live in the same house (full time). My 20SS and 18SD are not easy. My 20 SS has no job and sits in his room and plays video games all day. Last year my 18SD daughter wrote in her diary (which my 7 year old found)that she hated her father, hated me, hated my son, hated watching my children when we were mowing the lawn, hated my parents, pages among pages, among pages of hate. She moved out and did not speak to her father for 4 months after she turned 18. I texted her at least once a week to make sure she was ok. I invited her back home. I think it was easier to love her from a distance. Now that she is here I am having a hard time forgiving her for everything she put her father through, things she has said, things she has done etc. Her father has done a 180 and now they are best friends. I think because she is not blood, I don't have that unconditional love for her that her father has. He was laying on the couch last night and she came into the living room and actually laid on him talking in a baby voice..she talked like that and was laying on him for at least 15 minutes. I was so weirded out that I just took my boys into their bedroom and read them a book. my husband and I are not speaking because he said I am the reason our family isn't a close family, because I hold grudges and I just cant forget what she did. now I know why Blended families have such a high rate of divorce.

Evil stepmonster's picture

Submitted by Evil stepmonster on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 11:46am

Eww, that would not be happening on the couch in our house. That stops being cute and starts being creepy once the kid turns a certain age, for it's between 6 and 9. But I do not think in any way that you are the reason for all this. She obviously hurt you badly, plus for the 7 year old to read it and find out that his big sister felt that way about him must have hurt the little guy. Has she apologized for it? If so she might be trying to get close with you and your kids. Maybe being away showed her how good she had it and appreciates it all now, but an apology is definitely in order from her. And SS20, I'm sorry but as long as your DH supports his behavior then why should he get up and get a job? He's got made right now. That's all on your DH.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 11:48am

she came into the living room and actually laid on him talking in a baby voice..she talked like that and was laying on him for at least 15 minutes
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wait what? Are you talking junk to junk and face to face? That is weird.

EVILSTEPMOTHER75's picture

Submitted by EVILSTEPMOTHER75 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 12:04pm

Yeah, then she curled up in the fetal position and was in his lap... I wanted to throw up...

EVILSTEPMOTHER75's picture

Submitted by EVILSTEPMOTHER75 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 12:03pm

I thought maybe it was just me... I thought I was crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for making me feel normal... it was so freaking disturbing. Not only crazy because they had not talked for 5 months prior to this, and she has only been home a couple weeks and we have reverted back to when she was 6 years old.

EVILSTEPMOTHER75's picture

Submitted by EVILSTEPMOTHER75 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 12:10pm

No im pretty sure she loves getting his attention and if she is laying there ... well not much room for me on the couch. But its me... she is 18 YEARS OLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 1:51pm

Sorry, WHY on earth would you text her every week and invite her back after she moved out??? Talk to your DH about getting the adult kids OUT and on their own ASAP.

TinkLight's picture

Submitted by TinkLight on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 1:53pm

Oh my! That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. I would be upset and would walk out too, but knowing me I'd say something first. The thing is, what do you say without everyone in the room getting upset with you? I think you did the right thing of walking out and reading to your boys. Good job. Just know it's not just you weirded out. Smile

EVILSTEPMOTHER75's picture

Submitted by EVILSTEPMOTHER75 on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 3:05pm

thanks everyone... I think I am going to have to mention it to him tonight.. I just cannot let it go..
I would have liked to grab her by the hair and pulled her off the couch... and my DH says I need to act more mature and accepting... hehhehe.. he has no idea what I am feeling }:)

Dizzy's picture

Submitted by Dizzy on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 3:28pm

I'd say, "SD, GET UP. The only person a grown woman should be laying like that on is someone she has an intimate physical relationship with."