Well I didn't grow up with divorced parents. Didn't really have aunt and uncles divorced either. Now I see what my kids have had to go thru and my step children....and what adults too go thru.

I have learned the last 5+ years to breathe and breathe more.

I have learned that working with other adults is often an impossible task and has to come down to what is best for the kids. Sometimes it is best to give up a kid without a fight and give that kid what he wants. Say to a kid "listen - you need balance in your life and to be in one place and we will continue to love you and support you even if you don't live with us". Contrary, sometimes it is best to fight for a kid(s) because you know they belong with you and you can offer them the best support & love.

I have learned that if a parent wants to poison or alienate a kid it most likely will be done & successful. Best defence is to just focus on being positive and sticking to your own beliefs and house rules and be kind. Never talk about the parent negatively. That kid may have to go thru years of believing this one parent as telling the truth until they grow up and realize how destructive that was but that's not for us to figure out. Let go.

I have learned that sometimes we have to make choices and do things and keep it OUR own business. Don't ask for permission. Just do your parental instinct to protect your kid and make sure they are safe and in a stable and loving environment so that THEY can launch into adulthood and make their own lives. They are human beings with rights and we are their protectors.

I have learned that what other people do wrong is their karma, but, how we react to it is ours.

I have learned that although a step parent can be a positive influence in a person's life and a wonderful person - the kids want their real parents to do their jobs. For every 10 things a step parents does nice you will be lucky if he kid says thank you for one of those things. For every ONE thing the real parent does the kid is overflowing with thank you's and appreciation. As a result i have learned to do nice things on my terms and never expect anything in return. Do it cause in your heart you want to give that kid that gift for the kid's sake.

I have learned that those windows only stay open so long. Kids grow up & see who it was that was behind them the whole time. Cared for them. Made them a priority in their life.

Last, I have learned that it is never too late for forgiveness, re-kindling of relationships and healing. Teach your kids this. People can change. Don't close their windows for them. So for those parents that missed the window - don't give up. Focus on love and be patient. We can only go forward in life and never back.

Take care