I'm going to try to keep this short but it get's kind of murky and I may have to put in details for you guys to understand where I'm coming from.

I started this relationship with a great guy about a year ago. I knew going into the relationship that he had a child and I was okay with that. The SD is very young (3) and I figured that she would not be hard to get along with. BOY WAS I SOOOOO WRONG! :jawdrop: The first couple of meet and greets were the typical shy little girl, apprehensive towards me. She started to grow on me and seemed to be a sweet child. However, three months into the relationship things started to chip off and crumble downhill.

He has full custody of her because her mom has six other children including two under her. Her mom doesn't spend much time with her (only saw her twice in 2013 and once was by chance). So naturally she began to cling to me. I had no problem with it because I have worked with small children before. Then she started to do little things and when I would tell her that she shouldn't or couldn't do something she would throw tantrums. I overlooked it the first couple of times because I have a niece who also does the same thing but I have the authority to fix her little tantrums, which I don't have for this little girl. The next time it happen she and I were in the car on a busy interstate and it was the beginning of Aunt Flow and I was in some serious pain. She wanted me to open a snack for her but I had to focus on the road to make sure I did not miss my turn and to look out for maniac drivers. I told her, "Sweetie, I can't open it right now because I'm driving." She spat back, "Daddy opens stuff all the time!" She then flew into a rage throwing things I had in my backseat onto the front seat. I sustained a small cut to the side of the head but managed not to miss my exit. Once I did exit, I pulled over a convenience store and told her that she should never ever throw things EVER! I know that I have zero tolerance for behavior such as her so I stood outside of the car for a few minutes. Upon re-entering the car she began to kick the back of my passenger seat hard. I asked her to stop, but of course she didnt. I immediately dialed her father and asked him how far away he was. When he arrived he could tell something was wrong. She immediately lied and told him I had spanked her! I was floored because she had lied and he had believed her. He began to cut me down saying I'm not her mother and I have no rights to discipline her. I defended myself saying that if it is a danger to myself and her, then I will do what I see fit. I also added that I never laid a hand on her and showed him the cut I sustained from her throwing hissy. I said the cut looked old (with fresh blood oozing out of it eyeroll) and snatched her up and drove off. I was floored that he would react in such a manner towards me. We had a few arguments after that and he mentioned that I would never be his daughter and I took this to mean that I would always play second fiddle, no matter how many times I played it better than she did. He even said that it was like he and his daughter had a relationship (which disgusted me a little), although he tried to explain it as a different type of relationship (not like dating thing).

There was another episode in wal mart where she was just unruly, making loud noises for no apparent reason and not listening to what I was telling her. He again came to her defense saying that she wasn't bothering anyone, but I could clearly see that her loud noise making was bothering other shoppers and me.

We made up but I noticed that when I would come over he would spend a lot of time with her in her room or talking or playing with her when he hadn't before. One time I drove 9 hours to see him and he was telling me he couldn't wait for me to get there and how much time we were going to spend together. Yeah, he spent all of ten minutes when I first arrived. Had I not been so tired I would have made a turn around trip. I actually showered and slept in the guest room, woke up at 3 a.m. and left without alerting him. The last times I have been with them I tend to avoid his child. I have noticed that she watches me with disgust (so it seems to me) and yet I just try to ignore her. I say not a word to her and only pay attention to her if he is not in sight incase of an emergency. He mentioned that his daughter told him that I didnt like her anymore. She's three! How can she tell? Well, I see that she's taken a special talent for lying so maybe she can tell. but to be honest, I'm still trying to get over that main incident. I know that I am pulling away and it may seem selfish. I am at the point where I am on the ledge, waiting for a small gust of wind to push me off. Am I wrong for pulling away and wanting to leave?

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this is my first ever relationship.