Here's a ? Marriage/death and what would the spouse and stepdaughter be entitled to?
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One of the reasons I won't even consider marriage at this time is, not only for the fact that the boyfriends dtr has done a bang up job on our relationship--but boyfriend allowed it, but mostly for the fear that if I did get married, I would not want my spouse getting anything of mine because it would end up going to his dtr. I have my own home, an expensive car, etc.... And a whopper of a life insurance policy. My 2 sons only have me and, heaven forbid anything happens to me, but I have a Will I made up with an attorney before I moved into bf's home stating whom I want my younger son to live with, and my property is to divided up between the 2 of them. Wouldn't marriage screw all of that up?
Put everything of yours into
Put everything of yours into a trust, or a holding company where you and your sons are the shareholders/your sons are the beneficiaries. For the trust, it just goes to them when you die, and for a holdings company, have it in the operating agreement that upon he death of a member, the deceased shares are to split evenly between the remaining living shareholders.
Problem solved.
A will can be contested. A trust/corporation can't really be.
A Living Trust is the way to
A Living Trust is the way to go. Called "living" because as long as you're alive you can change it. When you die its set in concrete. A Trust owns your property. You control the Trust, you own it and the Trust owns your property.
You can even set it up so that he can live in the house if you die first and as long as he maintains it, pays taxes and insurance he can stay until he dies, shacks up, gets remarried or fails to maintain the property. Then your sons get full ownership to do with it as they please.
They can even be appointed Trustees to force proof from him that he's got insurance and pays the taxes (which is public information anyway) plus they can inspect the interior on occasion to make sure its being maintained.
See a Trust attorney and explain. Shop around for price as Trusts are pretty standard and any half/assed attorney can do it. They're so simple they're even on-line but your situation is a little too complicated for do-it-yourself.
I'm definitely not getting
I'm definitely not getting married either after seeing the replies. And thank god I don't live in a common law marriage state. :). I was married once before and that is enough for me. I'm in my late 40s and have too much to lose, and am too old to make another mistake.
If you are feeling this way
If you are feeling this way about your BF and his daughter now...DONT GET MARRIED!!!
I would consider leaving a
I would consider leaving a sum to cover your funeral expenses to your partner or whoever you expect to have to deal with that if your sons are too young to have that responsibility. Also consider carefully who you want to have power of attorney over your financial (and medical) affairs if you should be incapacitated and not be able to yourself. Another thing, depending on your living arrangements, you need to consider property ownership and who gets what in both cases of you or your partner dying first, you don't want either of you to be homeless presumably.
Another option not mentioned here is that if you did want to provide something for your partner I believe you could form some sort of trust that would provide an income for your partner (and possibly also for your kids if you set it up that way) but that on the death of your partner the remainder goes to your kids. If you name trustees who you trust and who know your wishes that the Steps don't get any money then that should ensure that the trust is carried out how you want it to be.
What everyone else
What everyone else said--consult an attorney before you make any decisions. And definitely wait on the wedding.
I'm not that well off, but
I'm not that well off, but like you...house, vehicles, property, retirement, life insurance. I won't get married until the last skid is 18, mainly to keep BM out of my kids' hair.
Last year I found out I have 2 life insurances thru work. A larger one I pay for and the default smaller one (but enough that DSO could get on his feet). I made DSO the beneficiary of the smaller one and every else to my bios with my sister as the executor. I made my kids promise to allow DSO time to get on his feet before he moves out. Both kids have their own houses, presently, so there won't be a rush to move to my house. Both kids are close as can be to DSO so I'm hoping my DS can abide by that little promise.
My DH passed away 9 years ago. No life insurance, no retirement from him so I busted my ass to keep everything I owned then and keep my kids going. Some trashy BM that lives off the government isn't getting anything from me or mine.
I have nothing to add and
I have nothing to add and agree with everyone else about seeing an attorney and NOT getting married. I think remaining fashionably engaged is a great idea! But, I should talk...
I remarried 3 years ago (dh's idea), however, we're older and have agreed that whatever I brought into the marriage goes to my children and his goes to HIS kids. We just trust each other on this. We also believe that once one of us passes, the other SHOULD get everything and be taken care of (spouses first)...just like in a first marriage. Children are NOT entitled to an inheritance...it is a GIFT that parents CHOOSE to leave their children. Anyway, if you feel you can't trust your SO or his kids, don't get married or at least set up a trust to ensure your wishes. I do have my 4 daughters as secondary beneficiaries on my life insurance and my retirement account, so if dh and I both pass away together (ex: car accident) then HIS loser sons wouldn't get ANYTHING of mine. I would assume his sons would get anything that's in his name only (his retirement)as his will states them as getting equal shares.
My bride and I are each
My bride and I are each other's sole beneficiary. That is clearly stated in our Wills and in the beneficiary statement of our life insurance policies. If we co-decease it all goes in to trust for our son (my SS) until he either graduates with BS from an accredited institution or turns 40 whichever comes first. This is our way of parenting from the grave. }:) The kid needs to get an education.
He is an only child in our marriage. His mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married a week before he turned 2yo. Our main concern when he was a minor was keeping as much as one micro-cent of our estate from benefiting the Sperm Clan in any way and minimizing the influence of the Sperm Clan on SS should something happen to my bride and I. If something happen my dad and brother are named co-executors of our estate with clear instructions that nothing is to go in any way to the Sperm Clan. We named custody of SS to my brother though the Sperm Idiot would likely have gotten custody had my wife passed. It would have bankrupted the entire Sperm Clan to fight for custody because my brother would have fought to the last to get custody of the Skid. SS is a Rags through and through and the Rags clan accepts him without any hesitancy whatsoever.
SS is a young man of character and clearly understands that his Sperm Idiot and Sperm Clan are all worthless PsOS. His mom and I are confident that he would not squander either his own resources or ours on any of the toothless morons in the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.
They have tried to get SS to help pay to raise his three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs since he aged out from under the CO when he turned 18. Though he struggles with the crappy situation his half sibs are in, he has avoided the guilt trip. As the half sibs get older and have started to make the same crappy decisions that the Sperm Idiot has made SS is less and less bothered by letting them wallow in their own idiocy.