What's the deal with the toilet?!
I have to know if I'm the only step parent who has to deal with this. My skids can't flush a toilet to save their damn lives!
They're with us every other week. (They're gone this week but will be back Monday night.) For at least the first 3-4 days that they're at our house, none of them will flush a toilet unless you make them, and most of the time they just bitch and say "Well why can't YOU just go in there and do it? Why didn't you just flush it when you saw it?"
It doesn't matter how disgusting the toilet is. They DON'T flush. Usually by the end of the week, they've started flushing on their own again without being told, but then when they come back next time, they're right back to not flushing, so I'm thinking that when they're at BM's, nobody flushes, and that's what they get used to.
It's SO GROSS. I spend 3-4 days every other week dealing with their shit (literally). I just don't understand raising kids to not flush when they go to the bathroom!
During the weeks that we have them, I spend a lot of time wiping the toilets down with Clorox wipes because they pee all over the damn thing. I'd leave it, but I refuse to make my kids or myself have to use it after they piss all over it. They also don't wash their hands afterwards unless you make them. YUCK!
I think most younger children
I think most younger children want to be in and out of the bathroom asap so you have to be focussed and consistent in reminding and checking in order to ingrain the habit of flushing and washing. It sounds like BM can't be bothered or was raised to not make an issue of it, and they don't spend enough time at yours for the habits to stick. My 7 and nearly 5 year old forget sometimes, I think that's normal, sometimes I call them back, sometimes I do it for them, if they did it all the time or were still doing it at 9 I would be a.annoyed and b. having a major clampdown and implementing consequences.
My skids are 9 (almost 10),
My skids are 9 (almost 10), 8, and 7...all well old enough to remember to flush a toilet in my opinion, but yeah, I'm pretty sure BM doesn't make them flush, so they just don't.
I've stopped flushing for them. I don't even say anything to them directly. I just go tell DH so he can deal with it however he sees fit.
SD13 doesn't close the door
SD13 doesn't close the door or flush the toilet and doesn't wash her hands. Unless we KNOW that she is going into or coming out of the bathroom we don't know to remind her. I assume BM never corrects her because if she did then she obviously wouldn't be doing it.
She also leaves bits of toilet paper all over the floor. WTF is that about??
I'm at the point where I told SO I am putting a sign in the bathroom with instructions. Pretty sad that you would need that for a 13 year old.
Yeah, my skids don't shut the
Yeah, my skids don't shut the door, either. They also have no problem walking in on somebody else using the bathroom. No "Oh excuse me!" or anything. They'll just stand there until you tell them to get out. I learned the first week I spent with them to lock the damn door, or they'll just stroll in and strike up a conversation. Nah, nothing awkward about that...
Oh, the toilet paper bits! I don't know what that's about, but I have the same problem! My skids frequently use all four of our bathrooms, depending on where they happen to be in the house at the time, so they leave those damn bits on the floor in four different rooms every other week.
I sweep and mop the bathrooms regularly, and I just sweep the bits up. I'm not going to make a huge issue out of it, but I've often wondered what the deal is with that, too!
My former stepson (ex husband's son) used to have trouble "aiming." He typically used the same bathroom every time, so the ex and I started making him clean the toilet every time he peed on it. Cleared up that little problem in NO time! He miraculously learned to aim after about the second time of having to get down on his hands and knees and Clorox-wipe the nasty toilet.
DH would never make his kids do that. I suggested it once, and he said that that's inappropriate. Well hell, I think it's inappropriate that I have to wipe down four toilets repeatedly, every other week! I guess that's more acceptable in DH's eyes than making the snowflakes clean up their own piss. :sick:
I've spent enough on Clorox wipes in the past few months to purchase a small country!
For Christ's sake you're not
For Christ's sake you're not making Daddy clean it up?
The ONLY reason I clean it up
The ONLY reason I clean it up is so neither my kids nor I have to sit on or touch that mess. I tell DH every time I do it, but yes, I clean it up as soon as I see it so my kids and I don't have to accidentally touch it or sit on it. It's a sanitation issue, but yeah, DH gets an ear full every damn time I have to do it!
Usually I shout out the door, "HEY DH! ONE OF YOUR KIDS PEED ALL OVER THE TOILET AGAIN! DON'T YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU HOUSEBROKE THEM?! DON'T MIND ME...I'M JUST IN HERE CLEANING UP THE NASTY MESS THEY MADE, THAT'S ALL!"
I tried being nice. I tried being patient. It got me nowhere, so now I just YELL a lot. It's no more effective, but it makes me feel better.
Yuck! Poop in the bath tub?!
Yuck! Poop in the bath tub?! Gawd. I guess I should be glad I haven't had THAT problem (yet)!
BM would report us to CPS if
BM would report us to CPS if we made any of the skids (9 - almost 10, 8, and 7) do anything related to cleaning a toilet. Seriously. These kids shouldn't have to lift a finger to do anything as far as she (and DH) are concerned. It's just too much for their dainty constitutions, I guess.
Honestly, I don't get this. I
Honestly, I don't get this. I have never come across this issue until this site. I wonder if they do this at their BM's? Are they doing it on purpose?
My SD did not do this nor any of my nieces or nephews. My niece even puts the lid down before she flushes because that is what I taught her.
Maybe your skids should just go outside, you know, like animals.
As nasty as their BM is, it
As nasty as their BM is, it wouldn't surprise me a bit to find out they used the great outdoors as their bathroom.
I also taught both of my boys to put the lid down before flushing, and they do. Mine are 9 and 4, and if they can master this basic concept, I don't see why my skids get a pass.
I never have to get either one of my kids to go back and flush, but it's an every-other-week struggle with my skids. It's not getting any better as time goes on, either.
Their reaction when DH tells them to go flush is just one of annoyance. "Ugh...GAH! Can't you just go in there and flush it for me?! Why do *I* have to do it?!" I want to scream every time I hear one of them say that!
Yeah, I'm enjoying a
Yeah, I'm enjoying a urine-covered-toilet week of peace and quiet. Mine come back Monday evening, and I dread it already! It's a problem every damn time they're here.
DH doesn't seem too concerned about it. I mean, I guess he is, but he's just not the type who likes confrontation, and I think he worries too much that if he tells the kids to do anything, they won't love him anymore. It's pathetic, really. Shoot, I bark orders at my kids all the time when they get out of line! Maybe I'm too bitchy, I don't know, but at least I've raised two kids who know better than to piss all over the toilet like a dog, then walk away from it.
All three of my skids didn't
All three of my skids didn't wipe, flush or wash. Didn't brush their teeth and took "soapless" showers. At the time of PAS out they were ages 11.5, 9.5 and 6.75. The BM is a slob and stepdaddy is an easy going slob. And biodad is a wet noodle, spineless guilty daddy who once yelled at me for "reminding" him to pick up YSS's wet towels on the floor--told me to pick up after him which I refused as I was quietly disengaging.
He wouldn't make his heathens do jack shit for fear of them not wanting to come back. He set the dangerous precedent expecting me to play scullery maid and him playing butler and magic genie to his offspring.
When he was unable to compete with the BM's enabling, all three PASed out. Do you want a laugh? Just the other day, he told me that he NEVER kissed his kid's asses!!!!!!!!! :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :sick:
Oh NO, they NEVER kiss ass,
Oh NO, they NEVER kiss ass, do they?
Mine would absolutely agree that he doesn't kiss his kids' asses, either, though he does it every damn day that they're with us!
A few times he tried to say something to me like "Ya know, I realize you're just trying to help (no I'm not) when you point out that my kids left all their wet towels and dirty clothes and stuff on the floor in the bathroom, but couldn't ya just, I don't know, pick it up and put it where it belongs? It'd really help me out if you'd do that."
All he got to that was a shocked look and a "HELL NO!"
I don't do it for my own kids, and I'm damn sure not doing it for somebody else's! I can't help it that he doesn't have the backbone to make his kids pick up after themselves.
I have two skids 13 and 16.
I have two skids 13 and 16. I still have to tell them to shower every night, brush teeth, brush hair, wear clean clothes, then list goes on. The 16 yr old had kids from his school coming up to my kids thanking them for what ever they did because he wasn't so stinky. My kids don't even go to his school. I had to rewash my sd13's hair last night because i have to rebrush her hair every night soap bubbles and a nasty film was on my hands... They are week to week with us now and every Sunday I have to brush out a major rats nest out of her hair... I honestly don't understand what has happened to hygiene? Now I will say it took me many years to teach my oldest bio son how not to pee on the toilet with his first morning pee... Totally frustrating!!!
Its is strange to me how many
Its is strange to me how many of us go through this! Maybe there is a book for BM of things to teach skids to drive SM CRAZY!! My SD9 of SS11 don't flush its gross...I've asked DH to "fix" the problem to no avail. After 2 yrs of it and PMS on top of that I had a belly full I called BM and asked her if she has running water and why I was asking BUT THEY STILL DON'T FLUSH!!!