um...hell no.......this would NOT sit well with me...if Stepdad shows up that meeting would be cancelled ASAP....if she is such a wonderful CP, why isn't she showing up instead?

i would think that the schools would need a signed authorization from your ex-wife in order for them to divulge school records and information to a non-legal guardian.

you can easily bar him from being at the meeting and bring a copy of your CO.

i know the schools around here often prefer to meet with divorced parents separately anyway even tho its a waste of time.

Call and reschedule. Do not not tell your ex about the new meeting.

If you think the teacher will tip BM off, go in unannounced during her prep period.

I'm usually the person helping skids with all their homework when they're here. (We have 50/50.) The kids' teachers know me and don't have a problem talking with me. I may not be a big fan of BM but I know we could sit through a meeting together about skids, and more importantly, keep our focus on how to best help skids with their school.

It's a bummer that you feel uncomfortable around your ex's new spouse and I think I would be, too, in your position. That said, there are many stepparents that take an active and positive role in their skids schooling and, perhaps, this could be where your ex wife feels comfortable letting her husband fill in while she's busy.

If you have personal problems with this man and don't think the meeting will be focused on your daughter, then reschedule. Otherwise, the more people concerning themselves with her academic performance could prove to be to her benefit when she's an adult.

For the record, I did do meetings, contact teachers & superintendents, etc. My DH was CP - is difficult to reach during the day & BM was 800 miles away & could care less about SD education. BM did not go even when she had custody.

However, you have every right to object to a SP being involved if you are stepping up. If mom has questions she can ask herself, make herself available or get the info from you.