Now she's done it.
Forums:
So BM and DH decided that skid 17 wasn't getting a car since she is going away to college in the fall (can't have a car in college).
Saturday at 5pm (while we r out at dinner, mind u) we get a text from skid saying she's at the dealership and needs 1,000 for a down payment.
Well apparently BM got her the car. And skid is mad at DH cuz he's "unsupportive" and ruined her first car buying experience. So now she doesn't want to come over this weekend cuz she's mad.
WTF? Spoiled brat!!! How could BM go behind DH back like that? There was no discussion. Shouldn't that be a "joint parental decision"?
If BM wanted to buy her a
If BM wanted to buy her a car, she certainly could have done so. But it sounds like either skid or bm assumed you dh would help without discussing it with him. And you know what happens when one assumes...
I'm a bit angry right now.
I'm a bit angry right now. May not be thinking straight.
U think it's okay for one parent to make this decision without consulting the other parent? after it was already discussed and both agreed that she wasn't getting a car.
As long as she isn't trying
As long as she isn't trying to stick dad with the bill, I think it's fine.
I agree. If it had already
I agree. If it had already been discussed and agreed then BM was out of order just going ahead without another discussion.
It's just playing stupid mind games to make one parent out to be the bad guy and the other parent the good guy. It's pathetic to use your children as pawns.
The woman is free to change
The woman is free to change her mind at anytime. If the no was based on the kid not being allowed to have car on campus, perhaps mom thought about it and decided it won't be an issue if the car remains home the first year.
I think her not calling dad to help fund something she wants to do is great.
I agree. BM looks like the
I agree. BM looks like the hero! But good for you DH for saying "no". In the same situation I'm not sure mine would have. He would have just bought her the car in the first place and pay for all the gas, insurance, etc. Oh yeh, he already did and does all that!
"First Car Buying
"First Car Buying Experience"?! Where is that page in the baby scrap book? Is it before or after first step? That skid needs to grow up!
You should read the crap she
You should read the crap she wrote. Lol.
No no no!!! I HAVE learned
No no no!!!
I HAVE learned something in my time on ST...
"Bless your heart!"
I'm guessing BM/Dad discussed
I'm guessing BM/Dad discussed jointly getting daughter a car. Dad thought 'no' because well, daughter can't have car on campus so why not just hold off. OK, parents agree no getting daughter car jointly. Then DD whines, cries, b*tches to BM about how terribly unloved and mistreated DD is until BM gives in and says 'ok, lets just go down and do it without Dad's help (if BM is paying she doesn't need Dad's agreement and/or approval).
Down to the car lot they go only to find BM can't actually swing this on BM's own. Nope, need $1,000 down or no go. Oh, sorry, daughter. No problem, DD will just text Dad and demand in her entitled being Dad race down and bring DD the needed $1000. What? Dad said 'no'. How dare that a$$ ruin her 'first car buying experience'? &%$^#%#.
Sure, it may be BM tossing Dad deliberately under the bus, but I'd ask BM about how it really went down before I just automatically assumed (unless perhaps BM has a long history of trapping Dad into being the bad guy). The tirade thrown after being told 'no' by Dad sounds rather as one very spoilt brat who is p*ssed she didn't get her own way , instead of BM pulling a fast one when BM knew full well Dad was going to say 'no' before DD even made the text. Afterall, it's BM looking like the a$$ standing in the financial office of the car dealer. IMO not many women would lower their pride to that level in front of a business just to make Dad look like a cheap buns jerk to the daughter. Lower the pride in private, one thing. Lower the pride and appear deceptive in front of the public? Nope. Tarnishes MOTY appearance.
My youngest son was 18 1/2
My youngest son was 18 1/2 when he bought his first vehicle. Brand new one and all on his own. DH and I knew nothing about a vehicle until DS pulled in the driveway with his new purchase. DS left the house with GF in her car (which her parents purchased but GF made the payments on) and came back about 3 hours later with his 'first car buying experience'.
It was a proud mom day for me. The kid worked his buns off since age 15 to make that day happen for himself.
i agree it should be a joint
i agree it should be a joint decision.
but the reality is these crazy BM's do what they want. nothing fazes me anymore.
to date BM has done the following without any consultation with my fiance:
1. got her an iphone with unlimited internet access, no restrictions, no monitoring of it whatsoever.
2. allowed her to have a boyfriend at age 11 that fiance did not find out about until a year later. he did not find out from BM or SD but through instagram. when he called BM out on it she tried to lie and say there was no boyfriend. then when she finally admitted to it she said it only was 2 months. of course we had the full relatioship history via instagram.
Since SD is a spoiled brat
Since SD is a spoiled brat not coming over, take the $1000 and have a mini vacation this weekend, go out to dinner, do fun activities, and talk all about it next time SD is around. "Oh, well you could have spent time with us and participated, but you didn't want to come over" lol
As far as BM going behind DHs back. Oh well , as long as she is paying for it! hopefully DH doesn't give her a dime. I've had to say this phrase millions of times to myself and with DH since becoming a step "I/WE CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO" as much as it drives me nuts, its the reality of dealing with a BM, SF, BMs family who like to act this way and make DH look like the bad guy.
Yeah, the only reason I can
Yeah, the only reason I can see for that being a joint decisions is if it's going to be jointly paid for. DH and I are thinking of giving my old car to my 17 year old SD when I get a new one, and we certainly didn't consult BM on that. (SD lives with us. It won't cost BM one penny in insurance, gas, or anything else.) I do think it was pretty crappy of them to text DH and ask for $1000 though! That part is utterly ridiculous, and SD is incredibly immature and spoiled.