LOLOL She's a complete psychopath. Probably just mad the kids called her out on her BS.

BTW, I LOVE how she keeps calling you his girlfriend.

BM did that when DH & I were engaged. We were still dumb enough to go to joint events for SD7's birthday. (at the time she was turning 5).

Anyway - BM introduced me to all her buddies as "SD7's dad's girlfriend"

Luckily, they all saw the rock on my finger & looked at her like she was pathetic (she is)

BM, as I do not have a girlfriend I am unaware of who was following you and harrassing you. I hope you find out who this was. My WIFE was in your vicinity and checked you ALL got home in one piece. ..

Wouldn't it have been easier to simply ask the kids to let him know when they arrived safely? Getting worked up after an hour is a bit over the top, IMO.

Like an op said, in the future, have the police do a wellness check. I'm glad dh wanted to know the kids were safe. If it was a gorgeous day out it would've been extreme. But not given that a tornado was coming.

nuts.
the only thing ill add is the whole girlfriend thing. BM and her attorney still refer to me as girlfriend even tho im fiancé. since the engagement, SD has always referred to me as "your future wife" but suddenly in the past 2 weeks she has now reverted to "girlfriend".

do these nutso people think if they call us girlfriend that it makes our marital/engaged status not true????

Drag her ass to court now and start smacking her in the mouth with a rolled up copy of the CO. (Figuratively of course) The only way to fix toxicity this foul is to destroy BM legally, financially and socially.

Have fun with the destruction of BM campaign. }:)

I'm going to give both you and your DH a break on this one. I too live in Illinois, luckily this time at least over an hour from the tornadoes (and yes at least four confirmed on the ground that day). With a mega amount of snow piled everywhere, the ground still very much frozen, 50something degrees and raining that day too, water had nowhere to go. It wasn't the best of days trying to drive around. So I very much 'get' Dh's concern.

With that said, you're going to have to come up with a plan for such type of concerns. Dh would have been better off to flat out ask BM to please give him a call or one time allowed text to let him know they made it and were all ok. Otherwise he is going to have to go with the wizard and sit and wait her out, which of course leaves him stresses since all he wants to know is they made it. Anyone traveling rural in this type of weather knows what is normally 45 minutes may be an hour or even two. Because yes, it's not always sensible to head out into the rural roads but to remain in relatively safer areas of the town you happen to be in.

Yes, your Dh wizard messaged BM. It's presumptuous though to expect BM to race home, a car of yakking kids, the weather what it was and race to her computer to check her OFW immediately and respond. After just arriving home I'd not run check some online thing either, I'd unload, get kids settled blah blah. BM is also correct in that she can not answer texts or her phone while driving unless she has an hands free set up such as Bluetooth. You likely did startle BM driving infront of her house. At that point she's unaware of any OFW message, does know Dh just tried to call her but couldn't answer and now there you are at her driveway.

Oh well. Lesson learned the hard way and lots of unnecessary wizard smacking going back and forth. DH needs to ask her about bad weather communications being acceptable on both their parts. If she refuses, nothing he can do about it but wait for her to get around checking OFW and responding. It's the chance DH took when he had the CO set up with all communication being through the program. With your BM being so high conflict I do feel bad for your DH. Poor guy was just worried about his kiddos.

If the tables were turned, and our BM was doing this to us, I would be LIVID. It would make me uncomfortable and it's completely unnecessary.

He texted and asked for confirmation she made it home. She wasn't home .. she didn't text. She's right .. what if she did go out to eat, or stop at a store? That's none of his business. He should have no expectations of her going straight home and calling/texting as soon as she makes it, UNLESS they've agreed to that prior.

I think it's over the top, and like I said, if the tables were turned, I would be just as upset as she was. Not just about the text/voicemail, but about the continued email exchange. It all seems excessive, IMO.

If the weather conditions were really THAT bad, why did DH let the skids get in the car in the first place?

DH was concerned about the kids and asked her to let him know when they were home safe. Fine. Reasonable. But that's the LAST reasonable thing you guys did. Going to her home 2 hours later was unreasonable. And then DH made it worse with his responses! What he SHOULD have said was, "I apologize. In my concern for the kids I didn't think how it might look to you if you saw my wife in front of your house. I realize that must have been a surprise, and I'm sorry." Instead he was more concerned with proving he was right. What the hell did you expect her to say to his responses? "OH! I see, you thought you were RIGHT! And my feelings on the matter, and whether I felt like you were spying on me or harassing me, should be ignored. Well of course that changes everything!" Have you even TRIED putting yourself in her shoes?? What if you find her driving past your house spying on you, wouldn't that make YOU uncomfortable? Wouldn't you wonder if she'd done it before? DH overreacted, and he was wrong. He should apologize.

I may be in the minority here, but if her normal drive time is 45 minutes, given less-than-desirable weather conditions, I would expect drive time to be longer. Not to mention, maybe there were stops to be made on the way home.

IMO, anyone going by her house to check up on them because she didn't respond within a certain amount of time was uncalled for. The fact that it was YOU driving by her house makes it even more out of line.

She's a parent, just like he is. She's capable of taking care of her children, just like he is.

I'd be livid to EVER spot BM driving by my house.

I agree with the BM in this case.

I read a few of the responses, and I just wanted to add that this whole thing is crazy to me. I mean, if something HAD happened to the kids, his only benefit would be finding out earlier...it's not like he could have done anything! And why drive by the house? Makes no sense to me. He's panicking before she even has a chance to get back to the house. Weird. It's like he's looking for an excuse to engage in conflict with her. BM might be crazy, but DH is driving the crazy car. I live in the midwest and we get all kinds of crazy weather all the time. It's scary. But his reaction is overkill. Leave the crazy woman alone.

Pesonally, I think your DH was jumping the gun a little bit by waiting only an hour, when the drive takes normally 45 minutes, and the weather was bad. That isn't even allowing time for BM to stop at the store for a gallon of milk if she needed to. Also, if communication is to be through OFW then him calling her and leaving a voicemail was not necessary and was opening the door for some complaints from BM. I personally don't think she was acting like a crazy BM at all...except for the repeat emails. But, that could also be a case of her being angry and thinking of other things later, and wanting them to be addressed…who knows.

I would be pissed too if I felt that I hadn’t even been given a chance to respond before the cavalry (aka you) had been sent.