Bedroom Management
Forums:
Feels like not a day goes by without some issue cropping up...
Please honestly advise re this:
SD13 comes to us eow (4 nights a month) and has a room of her own at BMs house, where she lives. We have 3 bedrooms available for the kids and have 3 kids who live permanently under our roof - one is mine and the other two are ours.
SD13 feels she should have a room in our house all to herself...
Incidentally, it is my house and I pay the mortgage bond.
?
LOL I'm sure she does think
LOL I'm sure she does think she should have her own room. My oldest stepbrother felt the same when he and his brother came to visit their dad. Too bad so sad.
Nope, kids resident in the
Nope, kids resident in the home get priority on the bedrooms. The 4 night per month visiting kid gets a fold out couch or AeroBed in a place that gives them as much privacy as possible while minimizing the disruption they cause to the household.
This is purely a logic based decision and not an emotional decision.
When we lived in a 2Br apartment when in a temporary assignement the Skid's room was also the guest room. We had a huge walk in closet in our MBR that we would put SS in on an AeroBed with a night stand and lamp. The closet had AC/Heat vents in it and that worked fine when GPs came to visit.
The Skid was fine with it and we actually had fun bantering at bed time with the Skid in the closet.
She needs to share with
She needs to share with someone.
How does her dad feel about this?
As a SP and BP, there's no way in the world I would work and provide a room in my home for my SK while my BK sleeps on the sofa or an airhead. My kid would at least have a bed in one of those bedrooms.
SD says "over her dead body"
SD says "over her dead body" will she share.
The children need to learn to
The children need to learn to share. Someone has to share their room with their stepsister.
It is not welcoming to have the child sleep on the couch.
Wouldn't it be great if she
Wouldn't it be great if she could have her own room but alas the money isn't there. While talking about money I also wonder about the jab at who's making the mortgage payments but there may be more in the background. I.e. I wonder if he was making the payments and your kids were visiting would it be the same? I've always thought that women, who are the huge majority of custodial parents, do not have a handle on what its like to be separated from their kids.
Anyway a bunk bed can be put in one of the girls rooms assuming you have a bio-girl living in the home. Maybe one of those with drawers under the bottom bunk where she can store anything she wishes. Visiting girl can sleep on the top. I think bunks would be the likely solution if she were living there permanently also.
Allow me to be more specific
Allow me to be more specific about why I mentioned the money thing:
I pay for EVERYTHING in our house, incl the needs of SD (I even buy her bday gifts etc obo DH). So, no, not just the mortgage bond - literally everything.
CO CS is paid for SD and I don't get ANY contribution from DH towards our two BC. Not even a pack of diapers was ever forthcoming.
And, yes, DH does earn an income. He has his own business.
So pause before you judge.
SD has her own bedroom at her mother's house. She is here 4 nights a month. There are three other kids in this house... and no, she is not interested in doing the double bunk thing, as was mentioned above.
I sooooo totally agree with
I sooooo totally agree with the other posters here. "Over her dead body"? Sounds tempting to me
I have a very similar situation her... my answer? Tough patooties, kid. There's always the bathtub as well, but it must be vacated when in use by other permanent family members.
What are the ages and sexes
What are the ages and sexes of the other children. SD should be sharing with the closest in age child who is the same sex. If she doesn't like it, tough cookies, she gets the couch- preferably in some kind of formal room with no tv }:)
So play the gender card.
So play the gender card. Girls get the big rooms, boy gets the smaller room. Go to Ikea and get a cool loft bed system with an integrated desk/shelves or Futon on the bottom so it is a positive experience for him. That should make all of the kids happy.
On the loft bed topic .... I did something similar in my SS's room. To keep costs down and add floor space for him to play we bought an inexpensive bunk bed from Sam's Club. It had a single bed on top and a Futon sofa on the bottom that folded to a queen sized bed. When SS was young (~4yo) I modified the bed to remove the futon and lower framing, added some bracing and opened up the floor level for added play space. At that time I was in grad school and DW was working on her undergrad so our third bedroom was our study. The modified bed worked great and when SS got in to his early teens I put the futon back on the bottom so he had a sofa and space to hang out with his friends if they had a sleep over.
Good luck.
My stepbrothers just stopped
My stepbrothers just stopped spending the night at our house. Worked our well for everyone.