Some do and some do not. Some people here have had SKs eventually grow up to be civil and polite to them, and they can all be in the same room without wanting to kill each other now. Others do not and seem to be stuck in perpetual victim mode.

I think it takes a really smart, emotionally mature person to even admit to themselves that they were in the wrong in how they thought of and treated another person. It takes an even more advanced person to be able to publicly own their wrongs and apologize. It takes someone who has the bravery to work through their issues and the crap life has dealt them.

Don't hold your breath though. If it happens, great, but don't put your life on hold waiting for this to happen.

I think SD28 has been coming around the last year or so, but it doesn't matter anymore. At this point I don't really care if she has a full on lightbulb moment. Her opinion of me doesn't matter. It doesn't affect my life. I'm A-OK with her thinking I'm the Evil Stepmother. I look fabulous in sparkly black.

Repeating 'anon2009' below is my personal experience and what I've read here and other Forums. The step-kid who becomes self assured enough to admit they make mistakes and own up to them is rare as it is with the general population and any list of mistakes.

Hell its even become easier for public figures to claim booze and other drugs made them do it as opposed to admitting guilt and asking forgiveness.

"Some do and some do not. Some people here have had SKs eventually grow up to be civil and polite to them, and they can all be in the same room without wanting to kill each other now. Others do not and seem to be stuck in perpetual victim mode.

I think it takes a really smart, emotionally mature person to even admit to themselves that they were in the wrong in how they thought of and treated another person. It takes an even more advanced person to be able to publicly own their wrongs and apologize. It takes someone who has the bravery to work through their issues and the crap life has dealt them.

Don't hold your breath though. If it happens, great, but don't put your life on hold waiting for this to happen".

My Skid figured it out. It was a process that took much of his life to work through. I raised him from a toddler so I have been his dad since before he can remember.

He is now 21 and a viable self supporting adult. To him I am still dad. His Sperm Idiot is "Gangster Dad".

His mom and I are his family and his safe harbor when he needs parental advice or just to come for a nice relaxing weekend and home cooked meals.

The Sperm Clan remains manipulative and toxic and he has little to do with them though they do guilt him in to engaging with them upon occassion.

I don't see my SD getting any better. I first met her when she was a pouty, entitled 15 year old. I did everything to try to get her to like me. As the years have progressed she has grown much more viscious and hateful than she was at 15. She is now 39. I could care less if she thinks I'm an evil SM. In fact, even the thought of SD darkening my doorstep gives me the shakes.

Interesting question. Your skid is someone else's bio and visa versa. So in reality, do kids who are difficult and unappreciative with a sense of entitlement mature and change? I agree with some do and some don't. I think a lot of it depends on the foundation laid in early childhood.

I have with my YSD

She was always sort of up and down, would go through periods where we seemed to be getting close, then the next visit would revert back and I would feel like the unwelcome SM again

Gradually the "ups" seemed to be more than the downs, and then one day when she was in her early 20's she made a big emotional speech to me out of blue (mostly in response to her older sister's disgusting public outburst against DH and pathetic behaviour towards me) about how I'm the best thing that ever happened to DH, one of the best things that's happened in their lives, have always been so sweet, there for all her important moments, etc... etc...

I assumed it was just a really good "up" and that she would soon revert back to distance/indifference but she has maintained this attitude now for quite a few years and is now in her late 20's

Where her elder sister is concerned, she's still going round and round in her never ending cycle of hate/tolerate, hate/tolerate with me...she's in her early 30's and I don't expect any big change in her behavior any time soon

Kids/Young adults today are so different. I am 43 yrs old and boy it seems that todays kids/young adults feel entitled & think parents need to support them forever! I was 18 and in college and since I lived at home I had to pay rent, $25 a week, which was nothing but it did help me to learn how to budget. I was also responsible for my own gas & car insurance! So, yes i was in college full time and i worked 40 hrs a week at a video store. Well, what do you know......I DID it! Why, because I had no choice! My parents were not going to support me forever! Todays kids think they can just live at home forever and its their parents responsibility. Its not and I think too many parents make it too easy for kids now a days. My SD for example. She is 23 and has a 2 yr old and is married. Her mother kicked them out and me & her father live about 2 hrs away and she doesn't like the country. Anyhow, so they all live with my mother in law (her grandma). Her grandma charges them $50 a week which they have NEVER paid! They don't give any money towards, water, heat, electric or food. She even complains on fb how when she gets home there is no dinner made for her! LOL!!! Really? You are living in your grandmas house, using her water, heat, electric, and eating all of her food! Now you expect her to cook for you also? I just don't understand! They both work at retail jobs......part time mostly. They never seem to pay ANY bills. Phones always getting shut off for non payment, car never insured properly etc. Yet they ALWAYS have money for fast food, alcohol, and weed. They have been living here for about 3/4 years now. They think just because they had a baby that they need to be supported. Well, in my opinion they should have established themselves then, got married & had a baby. We keep telling my MIL that she makes it too easy for them. If they can't even pay $50 a week for rent, how the hell will they ever learn to pay for their own place. On fb every day i see posts like "can't wait till summer so we can have parties by the pool everynight". YES, because your grandmother loves when you have parties every night by her pool and keep her awake all night long. This is not your house! GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for letting me vent lol!

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I'll never know. Mine were 22, 25 and 28 when all contact ended and they hadn't grown up at all. I'm sure their momma is very proud of them for telling their dad he's dead to them.

My "stepsister" did with my mom. (I use quotes because my dad died when I was very young. My mother re-married when I was in college so I never saw her as my stepsister-- we never lived together). One day, my mom took my stepsister to the OBGYN (she was having a small issue w fibroids). She broke down crying and told my mom how much she loved her and that she was the most normal, stable woman in her life.

As I stepmom myself now, I pray for such a day. : )

I believe they wont ever grow up until their needy narcissistic father's do!