How can kids be so mean

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I don't understand how someone can breed hate into their children so much. Every time my SD's visit with their BM they come back a holy terror and it takes says to get them back to normal.

My SD 10 now says no to everything that is asked of her, and then says I only say that to you all I do anything for my mother.

She tells me you know I don't treat my Step dad this way cause I love him.
She is just saying more and more cruel things everything she meets with her mother.

I have been disengaging little steps at a time to get my sanity back.

How often do you guys have

How often do you guys have her? I would recommend getting her into therapy ASAP.

She is in therapy but the

She is in therapy but the therapist has no clue how she gets. She told me to go and take her out and have fun, she is just frustrated. lol I said how about you take her for a weekend.

My husband has custody.

Make dinner for everyone minus her and toss her words back at her.
Remove anything you have purchased for her from her room, clothing, feminine supplies, hair bobbles, all of it.
No snacks (you bought those for people who are polite and courteous)
If you lay down and take it this kid will keep going and mow right over you.
Stand up and slam a (proverbial) door in her face.

Ive done pretty much all of

Ive done pretty much all of this lol
Does not phase her only makes her worse.

BEa - I am right there with

BEa - I am right there with you on this. She knows right from wrong. Let's just say those feelings are hers, doubt it, but for arguments sake lets say they are. She can keep her mouth shut about them, no need to be outwardly mean to you.

My SS went through pre

My SS went through pre visitation behavioral degradation for a week or two before visitation with the Sperm Clan then a few weeks of post visitation behavioral detox when he came home from visitation. Kids can not be exposed to the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool and not be influenced by the toxic bullshit.

What worked best for us as far as getting SS back on track after visitation was firm enforcement of the household rules and a well placed stinging swat to the ass when needed.

As lippy as your SD-10 is I forecast fairly frequent spankings until she extricates her head from her ass regarding post visitation behavior. Both you and her dad need to apply the swats depending on who is present to apply the discipline when she plays the lippy toxic spawn behaviors.

If you have any questions on spanking Skids.... look your state up on this site. If you are not in DE it is not illegal to spank your Skids when necessary.

http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law.asp

IMHO of course.

Good luck.