I can't do this anymore!!!!!
I really think I have reached my breaking point tonight. SD13 just came home tonight after being at her friends for about 2 weeks. Not 10 minutes after she got here I heard a knock at the door. Next thing I hear a boy's voice in my living room. DH was on his way home from work, I decided to call him to let him know I'm about to go off on his daughter, for my protection I kept him on the phone...didn't need princess lying about what was said, etc. I calmly walked to the living room looked at her friend then looked at her. I said," You know you are not allowed to have boys in this house but you're not listening, why do you think this is ok??!!" She started stuttering and basically says yeah I know...I said "your father is on the phone" and I handed it to her. Needless to say he left immediately and she disappeared into her room. When DH walked in I thought for sure he was going to go in her room and go crazy.....do you know he sat on the couch and started talking about work???? I lost it! I asked why he is not addressing the BS his daughter just pulled AGAIN? He told me it's not his fault I shouldn't get mad at him and there's nothing he can say to her that will make her change! He said I need to move on since I have such a big problem with the way he is raising her!!! I feel so disrespected by him and his daughter, I feel like my kindness has been taken for weakness and I really think I'm ready to move on. I told him if this is how he's going to "raise" her then I want no part of it. I'm so disappointed.
Wow, what happened to fathers
Wow, what happened to fathers being concerned about their daughters as far as boys and sex? I don't get this blase attitude. Lazy parenting at it's finest. I hope he is prepared to be a grandfather in the next few years if he continues to be this permissive.
And his attitude towards you for giving a shit? I would tell him, "Consider me moved on. Good-bye."
Easier said than done I know, but geez, what an ass.
I have a friend who is way more concerned about her SD's sexual escapades than her husband is and it just blows my mind.
Hey, you men out there, these are your DAUGHTERS. Your teenage daughters. Don't you care?
The thing is this is how he
The thing is this is how he ALWAYS handles her! He yells then there are no consequences! Why wouldn't she keep doing whatever she wants? If all I had to worry about was my dad yelling at me for a minute I guess I would have been a demon child too. Unreal.
The thing is this is how he
The thing is this is how he ALWAYS handles her! He yells then there are no consequences! Why wouldn't she keep doing whatever she wants? If all I had to worry about was my dad yelling at me for a minute I guess I would have been a demon child too. Unreal.
Wow that is crazy. I can
Wow that is crazy. I can totally see her heading down that kind of path. I am at my wits end with DH and I'm to the point where I want him to take his wicked spawn and leave. The only thing that really bothers me is our daughter would be devastated because she is very close to her father. But in the end I have to do what's right for my daughter and myself. It's just hard because we got along just fine before SD moved in.
Since she isn't home I told
Since she isn't home I told her lovely father to let her know the next time she brings a boy into my house I am calling the cops, no questions asked, no warning. I am so done with this.
Ugh!!! I hate it when DH says
Ugh!!! I hate it when DH says "Why are you getting mad at me?". Soooo typical!
Yes I can't stand that
Yes I can't stand that innocent act! Poor you, won't discipline your daughter now she's out of control...boo freakin hoo!
If my DH wasn't sitting right
If my DH wasn't sitting right here in front of me, I would think we were married to the same guy and he was living some double life!!! What is it with these men? When will they grow a pair, or are they in the princesses' purses? You should go read my posts from the weekend, and you'll see what I mean!
Ugh it's crazy! I feel for
Ugh it's crazy! I feel for you, i read your recent posts!
They never see it... Never...
They never see it... Never... They are hurting their own kids that they profess to love so much! You care, and you are the villain, and the sad thing is if something bad happens to his girl somehow it will be about you as well. Honestly, we are their scapegoats for blame.
Maybe just leave her be. Stop trying to discipline her. I don't know how much love is there between you and the husband, but you trying to instill values will never work not in this situation.
I am sorry that you have such crazy situation.
Last night when I told him we
Last night when I told him we are at the point of no return- either he needs to step up and parent this girl OR he needs to call her mother and arrange for her to move back home. He told me that he is going to see if he can pay her friend's mom $100 a week to keep her there, since she's always over there anyway!!! Are you serious???!!!
WTF!!!! I'm sorry...just left
WTF!!!! I'm sorry...just left speechless after reading that! This guy takes lazy parenting to a new level!
Seriously, if DH said that about SD14, I would be packing his backs and telling him that he and his daughter needed to leave. Why? If he were that lazy with regards to his child, how lazy is he about our relationship? I get that there are people that just don't like confrontation, but this is extreme!
One thing I can say...if that is what he does, he needs to make sure the brat NEVER has a key to your house!
I feel like I'm in the
I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone, like this is beyond insane. I actually just called my landlord because the duplex next to us is vacant. It's more affordable and it's a 3 bedroom...verses our 4 bedroom house. They are renovating it and it should be ready in a month. I told her to please sign me up. I have to do this.
The crazy part is when she
The crazy part is when she first moved in I did exactly that. I decided to stay out of it, and let him be the parent, which sadly he has not done. HOWEVER when she decided to start bringing this crap to MY house, this is the 2nd time in 2 weeks she has had boys in my house. I draw the line there, I can't mind my business anymore because she has disrespected my house twice (that I know of).
Wow sounds like my
Wow sounds like my situation.... His lil princess can do no wrong...been sneaking out the house since she was 12,sleeping with whatever boy will pay her attention... Told dh that I'm fed up with it and his reply....why do you hate my kids so much... Hate???, ummm no.....I don't hate them....I hate how he let's them do as they please....no punishment.... Even if they hit kick cuss spit on him...he won't do anything to them....
Honestly I do not want her in
Honestly I do not want her in my home anymore. I have a 10 year old daughter to worry about, and I don't want her being influenced by her sister. I am so sick of her constant BS and I am starting to resent DH. When DH told me she wanted to move in he promised me that this time he was going to make sure she followed the rules and if she didn't then she wouldn't be allowed to live with us.....ok we are at the point where she does whatever she wants regardless of what the rules are SO NOW WHAT? I'm just done.
You are absolutely correct
You are absolutely correct and I did give him the ultimatum last night. I think he is hoping that this will just blow over but I am really at my breaking point. I can't take anymore of her crap and I can't take him just brushing it off acting like it's not his responsibility. I literally feel sick to my stomach. This is a nightmare, I knew I should have never let her move back in. But I believed him when he said he was going to be a strict parent this time....Shame on me.
I'm definitely ready. I don't
I'm definitely ready. I don't want to do it anymore. So I guess he has about a month to figure out what he's gonna do. I told him if he cannot parent her, or doesn't want to he either gives her back to her mom or we go our separate ways. There are no other choices. This isn't about him picking me or his daughter, I would never ask that. It's about doing what is right. If he is not being a parent to her, and she is just running wild, then he has no business "raising" her. He's not doing her any favors at all in the long run.
I don't blame you! I am
I don't blame you! I am really close to that point. So close, that I've started looking into ways to consolidate my debts to lower my payments (and only mine), etc. In my case, I plan on fighting for this house, as it would be very difficult to take my pets with me if I had to go rent a place, and I know DH will not take care of them. I have 3 cats, and dog, and my daughter's dog. Not to mention, I paid for most of the stuff in this house...the furniture was bought with money made by me selling my house that I had when DH and I married, and over the course of the marriage, I've consistently made more money than DH, while his bills and expenses have always been higher than mine. So yeah, he and SD14 can move out if things don't go well...he has family in this town he can go to...I don't! SD14 could always go back to BM's, since that woman has helped create this monster by 1) not being a parent herself and letting SD14 basically run the house when she lived there; and 2) keeping hold of DH by the balls so to speak so that he is too afraid to stand up to her about anything, especially things with regards to SD14!
I don't think any of us want to put DHs in the position of it being them or us, but when they do NOTHING to actually RAISE their children, and we are the ones who have to feel the brunt of it all, what other choice do we have? There is always a third choice in all of this...MAN UP! That simple! Man up and let these little princesses know that they don't run crap...that daddy is in control, and daddy isn't going to put up with the crap any longer! Either they will shape up or beg to go somewhere else...either way is a win!
Exactly!!! You know it really
Exactly!!! You know it really doesn't have to be this way but he refuses to man up and put his foot down. So if it's easier for him to leave with SD then to actually be a parent then fine, good riddance. I can't make myself crazy over this anymore. I am tired of being stressed out and angry. I think in the back of his mind he doesn't think I will go through with it, but my mind is made up. When that 3BR is ready I am leaving with my daughter. The only way that I wont leave is IF and only IF he has transformed into an actual parent....other than that I am gone.