I think that I may be one of the lucky ones as I'm not married yet. We've been together for six years and are engaged and living together for four yrs. He has two girls 20 & 22 that are in college and stay with BM on breaks etc.. They have never accepted me into their lives and we kept thinking they would become more understanding as they got older. I have always reached out and tried to show them I care and let them know that I want them in our lives. They were running my fiancés household when I met him and they were more like friends than a traditional family unit. I also have 2 sons 16 &20 and a 28 y/o daughter who are used to living by rules, are respectful and well adjusted people.

Things have gone from bad to worse with my fiance's girls. My fiancé wanted to mend the relationship he had with them as they were so angry with him. He excluded me from get togethers with them, events, holidays ect.. and would meet his ex at these events. This was exactly what the girls wanted...mom and dad together. This has been going on for the past year and part of me was releived that I didn't have to deal with these girls but it started getting out of hand and they were all going to football games and parties together...I finally put my foot down as he is nourishing an inappropriate relationship with the four of them and why would they want me in the picture.

The girls refused to see me over Thanksgiving and wanted only to see their Dad. He offered to take them out on Friday and they insisted that their mom also come. He said no which started WW3. The texts started rapid fire about how I was ruining their family, I've turned them into the Bitches they are now, Mom couldn't come because of me. There were many nasty texts that he wouldn't read to me as they were extremely hostile toward me. They also called him every name in the book... They have no respect for anyone including their parents, and call them by their first name. He did end up going over his ex's to see them before they left for school and he said it was like nothing ever happened. All he wants to do is have a good relationship with them as he would do absolutely anything for them. He's been Disney Dad since the divorce so when they had to share him, it was a disaster and continues to get worse.

I love him dearly but I'm thinking that I really can't endure this for a life time. I'm not used to drama as my family is very grounded and calm. This is getting to be too much. They have formalized the decision that they in no way want a relationship of any kind with me. They will see their Dad when they want and on their conditions only. And that includes the continuation of paying all of their expenses, rent, gas, car payments. insurance, tuition - and they are demanding he send them to Mexico for spring break in March. So the guy is working OT just to make ends meet and now they throw that at him. I told him that he shouldn't be sending them anywhere and that the only vacation we have ever taken he was unable to contribute a dime because of their expenses. And he felt guilty for going since the girls made him feel terrible.

I guess reading what I wrote...staying in this probably will not get better and if I do request that he change things dramatically, he will just resent me too.

Any words of wisdom from those who have been in this a long time..does it get better?