9 year old SS FRUSTRATES me!
I am the step parent of a 9 year old boy, who I have a hard time trusting because lying and sneaking comes all to natural to him. He lies about the littlest things, anything and everything. When you talk to him he tunes you right out. When you punish him it doesn't phase him. He's a smart kid but constantly plays dumb, he doesn't listen well, etc. His bio mom is a compulsive liar, lies to him, gets him to lie to his dad and I on a regular basis. I've been living here for about a year and a half, and honestly I can't wait to get him out of the house when the opportunity arises. I feel bad for thinking this way, but I don't know how to change my feelings towards him. I now have a difficult time trusting what he says and does. What a way to live! Does anyone else face these same issues? I realize he is 9 and kids are naturally sneaky, but it's so often it seems unnatural. I am scared it's only going to get worse. I love his father unconditionally and I stick around for that reason.
Yep. I am in that boat too.
Yep. I am in that boat too. The DH's in our lives can't see it and we live in hell for it. Good luck hun. This is a great place to vent, it has saved my sanity on more than one occasion!
Do not believe a word that
Do not believe a word that comes out of his mouth. And let him know that all the lies and 'fibbing' and 'untruths' make it obvious nothing he says is worth listening to because it is crap. When he says he is hungry you respond "Nope. You must be lying.". HE says he has a headache "Really? Now how do I know whether you are lying or not?"
Punishing him doesn't worry him. But not reacting to his wants like food and him not feeling well or feeling cold WILL concern him. Of course you aren't going to let him freeze to death or starve. You just make him wait it out for a while.
^ This. SS7 was a compulsive
^ This. SS7 was a compulsive liar before we just all stopped believing anything that came out of his mouth. He tries here and there still, but he drops it quick once he realizes no one's interested in what he has to say.
We had a bit of drama the one night SS7 wanted his pictures from his hand-me-down digital cam to be put onto the computer. So we did, and lo and behold, a dick pic! :jawdrop: . Naturally we told him not to take pictures like that and his excuse is, "SS10 made me" :jawdrop: :jawdrop: . SS10 immediately gives a reaction as if to say, "I told you no such thing". SS10 will own up to his wrongdoings so we knew this was a flat out lie. A very DANGEROUS lie that could have gotten ugly (SS7 & SS10 have different mothers). Since the lying has been corrected, I find I no longer tolerate the cute tall tales that young children make up as I know what it CAN lead to unfortunately.
This sounds exactly like my
This sounds exactly like my SD 10. I hide my valuables all the time and it pisses me off because then I can't even find my things!
Well thanks everyone! I am
Well thanks everyone! I am glad to know I'm not alone. I think of it as not every person likes everyone, there are people who just can't get along. Sometimes someone's personality clashes with another person, and that's how I feel about my SS. I honestly wake up every morning dreading the day unless he is not here, then I am happy as can be! It's hard. Who knew? I honestly don't believe what he says and he knows that. I don't out right tell him I just plain don't trust him but I make him aware it can be difficult sometimes. He doesn't care. Nothing phases him. It's creepy the lack of empathy the kid has. Also, if he gets in trouble for lying or sneaking he forgets about it 2 seconds after it's happened like it never did. He's spoiled. He's babied. Now the repercussions are beginning. He's 9 and he throws little tantrums because he tied his show lace wrong and can't get the knot out. Come to find out his freak of a mother will tie it for him! I figure at 9 he should have to figure it out! Just dumb things like that get to me. I woke up this morning grumpy because I know at 3:45pm I have to deal with him
I know exactly how you feel,
I know exactly how you feel, it seems from what I've been reading the only way to stop it is if bio parent sees it and is on the same page with you, unfortunately for me my so is blind to behavior and overly defensive of his `perfect child'.
Is there anyway to get the
Is there anyway to get the kid to stop his lying!? Its not good if he is ever in a situation because he will be like the boy who cried wolf.
I think I will purchase myself a safe just for all my precious belongings in which I will hide everything... before this happens to me or something goes missing because I will not be a happy camper if this is so.
Thanks as usual for the posts that bring all of us some thoughts to ponder!!
HUGS!
I've tried calling out the
I've tried calling out the lies, my sd doesn't steal but oh does she lie, unfortunately it doesn't seem to stop it and so gets annoyed anytime I say anything to her other than praise her. I hope someone has some useful info for you, I could use it too... Good luck!