I work on ME as a person there is nothing that pisses BM off more then her noticing I am bettering myself not attending to all the mind games. I also spend some time finding really cool cheap things we can do with the skids when we get them. It feels great to turn around negative energy into something positive for my family. Plus its almost like BM's attempts to make my life miserable drive my energy to make my life amazing :).
When I absolutely cant take it I come here. I have been driven to do the above thanks to the advice I have gotten here.
To live well is the best way to rub things in the faces of the blended family opposition. Be happy, take care of yourself, your marriage and your family.
Over the years my SS-21's SpermIdiot and the SpermClan have wilted away and pretty much stay under the rock they belong under. In the begining of our blended family adventure when SS was 1yo they had an aire of superiority. DipShit had Sperm GrandMa and Sperm GrandPa's check book and they paid his CS and his legal fees for the long and protracted battle for custody. When we met my DW was a single teen mom college student struggling to support herself and her son and make a better life.
When Sperm GrandMa learned that DW was dating someone she filed for custody of my future SS on behalf of her worthless POS son. SS was ~16mos old at that time. Rather than fold to the efforts of the SpermClan my DW took out a supplemental school loan in order to get an attorney and fight the SpermClan.
Long story shorter .... we married two weeks before the case went to court and she kicked their asses. When my income entered the mix it leveled the financial playing field that had been severly scewed by the Sperm GrandParents income and since then the ballance regularly continued to agressively lean in our favor. Since then DW completed a dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is a CPA. SS-21 is an only child in our family. DipSHit went on to spawn three more also out of wedlock children by two more baby mamas. All three of his younger spawn are either supported by the Sperm GrandParents or live with the Sperm GrandParents. The DipShitIot lives in one of his parent's rental properties rent free and works as a voluntarily intermittently employed plumber (with a state license and everything) in an effort to avoid his responsibilities to his children.
It is classic to see the entire SpermClan wilt when my amazing bride shows up in SpermLand to visit my ILs. They cringe and scowl. Our son (my SS) has little to do with them though he does make an effort to speak with and occassionally visit his 3 younger SpermIdiot spawned half sibs. That is a heartbreaking experience for him and for his mom and I every time. These kids are all three damaged by the toxic influence of the shallow and poluted end of their gene pools.
For me it's not really any BM drama, but it's ss20 drama. Since he is exactly like BM it doesn't take much imagination what DH's life was like for 22 years with her. Yikes. DH says I am peaceful and my xh said I had raging mental issues, so not sure who is telling the truth but maybe I am just more peaceful away from my xh, and perhaps I am now the peaceful lady DH needs. Though I have my moments, but what woman doesn't? lol Especially given our step circumstances.
Writing letters is good but it might be putting too much thought into her. If you do that maybe have a burning ceremony when sd turns 18 so that you don't give any credit to BM she doesn't deserve. If she reads how she tormented you she might get real joy in that. I know I would never give xh that joy, but I have thought of writing a book on divorcing a raging psycho and tips on survival.
I write letters to the grandbaby we don't get to see. I buy little trinkets like i imagine i will for my own someday, wrap and keep with notes. i tell her what we're doing. i have some letters separate that i've written that, depending on te circumstances when we're all reconciled, I may or not give her when she's 18 - those are the real your mom and bgma are bitches' letters. i'm certin there will never be an opportunity to share these, but i write . it helps.
Writing helps me alot! When I get angry/frustrated/sad in regards to BM's action. I pull out my tablet and write my Dear BioMom letters. I have made the mistake of trying to reason with BM, ended up with us screaming at each other and accomplished nothing. When I first realized this no resolution to all the conflict, it really bothered me. Then I started writing my letters and it has really helped me.
Not only do I write letters to BM, I also have a journal documenting all the milestones in my and SD's relationship. (First time I meet her, kindergarten grad, etc) She loves me to read her "her stories" and my plan is to give her a book of "her stories" her when she goes off to college.
This will make a few of you ladies smile. I kept everything... letters, phone transcripts, sticky notes, pictures, anything that might be needed for court someday. I threw it all (4 3in binders) out when SD turned 18. Turns out she read threw everything when she was 16 or so... Best revenge ever & I didn't know or do anything. She got to see what a crazy POS BM really is.
I know what BM's va-jay-jay looks like :sick: I have NO idea why on earth SO felt the need to describe it to me!!! I also know that she was a bore in the bedroom and NEVER put out again once she found out she was pregnant. Tis a lil satisfying knowing that kinda stuff about BM }:)
I work on ME as a person
I work on ME as a person there is nothing that pisses BM off more then her noticing I am bettering myself not attending to all the mind games. I also spend some time finding really cool cheap things we can do with the skids when we get them. It feels great to turn around negative energy into something positive for my family. Plus its almost like BM's attempts to make my life miserable drive my energy to make my life amazing :).
When I absolutely cant take it I come here. I have been driven to do the above thanks to the advice I have gotten here.
To live well is the best way
To live well is the best way to rub things in the faces of the blended family opposition. Be happy, take care of yourself, your marriage and your family.
Over the years my SS-21's SpermIdiot and the SpermClan have wilted away and pretty much stay under the rock they belong under. In the begining of our blended family adventure when SS was 1yo they had an aire of superiority. DipShit had Sperm GrandMa and Sperm GrandPa's check book and they paid his CS and his legal fees for the long and protracted battle for custody. When we met my DW was a single teen mom college student struggling to support herself and her son and make a better life.
When Sperm GrandMa learned that DW was dating someone she filed for custody of my future SS on behalf of her worthless POS son. SS was ~16mos old at that time. Rather than fold to the efforts of the SpermClan my DW took out a supplemental school loan in order to get an attorney and fight the SpermClan.
Long story shorter .... we married two weeks before the case went to court and she kicked their asses. When my income entered the mix it leveled the financial playing field that had been severly scewed by the Sperm GrandParents income and since then the ballance regularly continued to agressively lean in our favor. Since then DW completed a dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is a CPA. SS-21 is an only child in our family. DipSHit went on to spawn three more also out of wedlock children by two more baby mamas. All three of his younger spawn are either supported by the Sperm GrandParents or live with the Sperm GrandParents. The DipShitIot lives in one of his parent's rental properties rent free and works as a voluntarily intermittently employed plumber (with a state license and everything) in an effort to avoid his responsibilities to his children.
It is classic to see the entire SpermClan wilt when my amazing bride shows up in SpermLand to visit my ILs. They cringe and scowl. Our son (my SS) has little to do with them though he does make an effort to speak with and occassionally visit his 3 younger SpermIdiot spawned half sibs. That is a heartbreaking experience for him and for his mom and I every time. These kids are all three damaged by the toxic influence of the shallow and poluted end of their gene pools.
So, live well and get your revenge.
I am a Sdad by the way.
For me it's not really any BM
For me it's not really any BM drama, but it's ss20 drama. Since he is exactly like BM it doesn't take much imagination what DH's life was like for 22 years with her. Yikes. DH says I am peaceful and my xh said I had raging mental issues, so not sure who is telling the truth but maybe I am just more peaceful away from my xh, and perhaps I am now the peaceful lady DH needs. Though I have my moments, but what woman doesn't? lol Especially given our step circumstances.
Writing letters is good but it might be putting too much thought into her. If you do that maybe have a burning ceremony when sd turns 18 so that you don't give any credit to BM she doesn't deserve. If she reads how she tormented you she might get real joy in that. I know I would never give xh that joy, but I have thought of writing a book on divorcing a raging psycho and tips on survival.
I write letters to the
I write letters to the grandbaby we don't get to see. I buy little trinkets like i imagine i will for my own someday, wrap and keep with notes. i tell her what we're doing. i have some letters separate that i've written that, depending on te circumstances when we're all reconciled, I may or not give her when she's 18 - those are the real your mom and bgma are bitches' letters. i'm certin there will never be an opportunity to share these, but i write . it helps.
Sixteensmom: Writing helps me
Sixteensmom:
Writing helps me alot! When I get angry/frustrated/sad in regards to BM's action. I pull out my tablet and write my Dear BioMom letters. I have made the mistake of trying to reason with BM, ended up with us screaming at each other and accomplished nothing. When I first realized this no resolution to all the conflict, it really bothered me. Then I started writing my letters and it has really helped me.
Not only do I write letters to BM, I also have a journal documenting all the milestones in my and SD's relationship. (First time I meet her, kindergarten grad, etc) She loves me to read her "her stories" and my plan is to give her a book of "her stories" her when she goes off to college.
This will make a few of you
This will make a few of you ladies smile. I kept everything... letters, phone transcripts, sticky notes, pictures, anything that might be needed for court someday. I threw it all (4 3in binders) out when SD turned 18. Turns out she read threw everything when she was 16 or so... Best revenge ever & I didn't know or do anything. She got to see what a crazy POS BM really is.
I eat ice cream, drink wine
I eat ice cream, drink wine and then have amazing sex with SO, that all gets the foulness of BM out of my head
I know what BM's va-jay-jay
I know what BM's va-jay-jay looks like :sick: I have NO idea why on earth SO felt the need to describe it to me!!! I also know that she was a bore in the bedroom and NEVER put out again once she found out she was pregnant. Tis a lil satisfying knowing that kinda stuff about BM }:)