What is his problem?
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I do know what it is, it is called "I produced parasites who are only at the bottom rung of emotional development". I see that dh pledged a small amt of money during a phone drive for daughter's fancy private college that we were taken to court over! wTF is wrong with him!!!!!! I would have told whoever called to not bother to ever call again! Seriously I can only shake my head and set my boundaries, even though at this stage there is no contact other than his daughter's bills, at the grand age of 21.
I think that my dh's ex
I think that my dh's ex trained HIM well, to be a doormat for her and her offspring s abuse. They got enraged that he married, and who knows, maybe there is some guilt on his part. I have done some reading on codependency......narcissists and the men who marry them, usually dependent personalities. Yes, my dh is very different with me and my kids, but when he is back interacting with the others, it is like a different person. He shows no anger over what has gone on so far.
I often wonder why my Dh
I often wonder why my Dh doen't get upset about the things that SS19 does. I have made the decision to disengage, but it is difficult to not let that affect my marriage. How am I to disengage with another life in the house? I feel as if that is a game that I don't want to play. if there is a PINK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, I MUST ADDRESS IT! I have tried to act as if it is not there, but I CAN'T! and I really, really, REALLY want to ignore that BIG PINK ELEPHANT, but my DNA won't allow me to. I just want to keep the peace in the home at this point. I don't want to argue anymore, but I feel as if I should be able to say whatever I want in the comfort of my own home. It just doesn't feel like home anymore. My friends say that they are concerned about me because I am not the vibrant, jovial, energetic person that I used to be. All I can tell them is that I am so overwhelmed with life right now...I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I don't know if DH will ever know how much pain this has caused me. It's like he's immune to all my pain. I never used to be the type to cry. Now I cry every day. How can he see me in pain and not come across as empathetic?
He does this becasue he still
He does this becasue he still wants to be the white knight. My DH paid for SD to go to an expensive 4 year college, and did the same thing your did. Thank goodness we had separate accounts, although I was supporting him then. Even after SD graduated, if we visited her and her Husband, or they visited us, or we went somewhere with then we still paid for EVERYTHING. Now, if he wants to be the hero he can pay for it himself, I could care less. Are you paying for this out of your own pocket, or do you have separate accounts?
It took me 15 years to get a
It took me 15 years to get a separate account from my DH. I thought that since we were married, we were one flesh and should be one with everything! That change took a great load off of me. Now, since he has less money because I am a better budgeter, he wants to combine accounts again. Oh Hell NO!
No we have separate accts
No we have separate accts thank god. But it is maddening sometimes to see a grown man act this way with his daughters, who are the most god awful witches. But I need to let it go and get it off my chest on this site. Thank god for people who can relate to this nonsense. I know that people who have not been in the step world can not relate to this craziness.
Ya, it WAS sickening to watch
Ya, it WAS sickening to watch DH push his chestout , the big man, to take the check. That was when we were both paying. Odd though how he changed when I told him I would pay for my family and he could pay for his. LOL
Yes.....dh keeps taking their
Yes.....dh keeps taking their abuse.....that is their pattern and it started with their mother. Abusers or enablers....that is his own family. I do realize every family has issues, but not many in which adult children repeatedly take thir father to court for extras like cars, fancy colleges, etc..and no my dh is not rich. He literally has no savings now.
If you have separate accounts
If you have separate accounts and he chooses to spend his money this way, why allow it to bother you? It only makes crazy irritates.