The latest drama with CO/BM not sending SD to school
I am at my wits end with this never-ending drama!!
Yesterday my DH filed for emergency custody because him and BM have joint custody week on/week off and BM did not send SD to school on her last week with her (she JUST started kindergarten & the issues have already begun). He is asking the court to give him custody of SD during the week so we can make sure she gets to school and then BM can have her on weekends, school holidays, and most of summer.
Anyway, BM got the court papers today in the mail, called DH screaming "you're denied" (he has not been given an answer yet- she is just saying he's denied as if it is up to her), said she's coming to get SD tomorrow (their normal switch day) and hung up the phone.
BM lives 2 hours away from us and SD's school so if she comes to get her, the chances of her going to school are extremely unlikely (especially since she already has a history of not sending her to school).
My DH can't even have a conversation with BM about it because all she does it scream and hang up the phone. She's extremely childish.
People have suggested using an online system- Family something- I cannot remember the name of it right now but I did look it up and it seems like a great idea to use for high conflict situaions- only problem is BM doesn't have a computer or a cell phone!
I am so sick of this never-ending, daily drama!! I just want a normal life!!
Yes, BM and DH agreed on the
Yes, BM and DH agreed on the school up here because BM was living up here at the time. She moved further away after they agreed on the school but before SD actually started school. They have had the week on/week off custody order for about 4 years now and it doesn't say anything about school (I guess because SD was only 1 at the time). BM told DH she registered SD for school where she lives, but DH called the school and found out BM is lying. Also confirmed SD did not go to school (any school) the entire week she was with her mother.
"People have suggested using
"People have suggested using an online system- Family something-"
Our Family Wizard? Not sure how this can help in your situation but it is good that your DH got the ball rolling.
I forsee your DH getting primary custody but custody will still be 50/50. You'll have SD during the school weeks and BM will likely get her EOW plus the lion's share of summer breaks and holidays.
That is the arrangement we have. Now, I hope, for your DH's sake, that he doesn't take much stock in the holidays. Because my SS is with his Dad every Christmas, I spend most Christmasses consoling my DW who absolutely HATES it that SS is not with us on Christmas.
Yes, that is it- Our Family
Yes, that is it- Our Family Wizard. People have suggested it just because BM is very hostile and can't have a normal conversation with DH.
DH will be devastated if he doesn't see SD on holidays. Mainly Christmas. Currently, the custody order is that they have SD every other year (DH one year, BM the next) on most holidays but on Christmas they each have her 1/2 the day.
You'll have to steel your
You'll have to steel your husband for that possibility. I know SD is only in kindergarten but when she reaches elementary school, she HAS to go every day and I don't know think any judge will deem that your custody arrangement will stay status quo. Either SD goes to school in your district or in BM's district.
Our court date got pushed because DW's ex's lawyer got sick. Court date was pushed to October. That's a whole month into the school year. DW and her ex lived an hour apart and SS was going to school in Dw's ex's district. So for a whole month, I drove SS to school and picked him up again. It was hard, but I am so glad I did it because the judge saw that DW and I were committed to SS's scholastic endeavors. So the judge ruled that we were to be the primary household but SS's father gets all the "fun" days. I am totally okay with the judge's decision because we have control over what I deem is most important (SS's education). DW on the hand gets heart-broken at every Christmas.
To make matters worse, her side of the family after 5 years STILL don't get it. Every holiday when the family gets together they ask "Where is SS!?". And that just sets DW off on a tirade once again.
I hope it works out in your favor, but as I said, be prepared to be the shoulder your husband will need to cry on should this happen.
So when is he supposed to get
So when is he supposed to get an answer on the emergency hearing?
From what DH said, the court
From what DH said, the court will call him in 48-72 hours after the paperwork was filed which was yesterday. We haven't heard anything yet.
When is the hearing? I wonder
When is the hearing? I wonder what will happen the next school day when BM has to drive 2 hours in the morning or if she will pull her from the school she is in to enroll her in the school in her district...
We don't have a date for the
We don't have a date for the hearing yet. The court is supposed to notify them if the emergency custody is granted and then I guess they go from there. I am not really sure how it all works.
I know for sure BM is not going to drive 2 hours each way to get SD to school every day, and I can't necessarily say I blame her.. but then again, she is the one who moved out of the district they agreed on.
She apparently tried to enroll her in school where she lives but they saw that SD is already registered at another school so she would have to be withdrawn from that school before they will enroll her there (from what DH says anyway).
Wait! She moved? Oh that is
Wait! She moved? Oh that is not going to look good for her. Unless she moves back, your husband's motion will definetly be taken seriously.
It sounds like this BM thinks she can make sweeping changes to custody without going through due process.
This is crazy! Curious- what
This is crazy!
Curious- what did your DH think was going to happen when school started since Bm had already moved away? Did he really think she was going to drive back and forth to drop her off and pick her up for school?
How long did your DH know that BM wasn't living in the same school area anymore before school started? This seems like something that should have been worked out and discussed AS SOON as BM moved.
Well I've been telling DH for
Well I've been telling DH for YEARS that the week on/week off arrangement would not work once SD started school but neither one of them was willing to give up their time with SD. At the time that they agreed on the school, BM was living near us with her other's kid's dad's mom. She is one of those BM's who just move around and stay with whoever will allow her to stay with them.. She has never had her own home.
BM moved back to her mother's house a few months ago I want to say. But it was not long after they had agreed on the school (it was done last minute of course).
BM could move back at any time.. Or she could move somewhere else.. There is really no way to say. She's very unstable.
BM did tell DH that she was moving back, which is the reason that he did not file sooner. It's a mess!!
Well, DH's request for
Well, DH's request for emergency custody was denied. We just found out. I guess our state doesn't think a child not being sent to school is an emergency. BM gets SD back tomorrow. Our next plan is for DH to call the school on Friday and if SD is not there (she won't be), he will call the truancy officer for the district and report BM.
This should have been
This should have been addressed when BM moved. Who really thought she would drive 2 hours to take a child back and forth to and from kindergarten?
Well BM did say she was going
Well BM did say she was going to move back.. Her and DH both agreed on the school together.. But yes, it should have been handled months ago.
Anyhow, after HOURS of drama last night, BM agreed that SD living with us during school is in her (SD's) best interest. She has agreed for DH to have her during the week and she will take her on weekends/school holidays/most of summer.
I think she knew deep down this is what was best but just wanted to fight DH on it.. She knows she has no means of providing for SD. She is a drug addict with no job who lives with her mother (who is also a drug addict).
Now he just has to wait for his custody modification hearing to make it official in case she changes her mind.