Moved away and DH is miserable.
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Well we are fairly settled in our new house at the beach 2 hours away from Sd and her kids. DH is cranky and miserable now. SD is angry and told us she won't be coming up to the area for a "while". A little emotional blackmail by her to Dh. Punishing him for moving forward in his life and trying to save his marriage.
I am just so tired still of the never ending cycle of DH's moods after he speaks with Sd. Not sure how long I can be patient, it's been years already. sigh
I think this is just weird.
I think this is just weird. Since I was 2 years old, my parents have not lived in the same city as their parents. What is the big deal? They both need to grow up.
I completely understand the
I completely understand the whole mood thing, it's like that in my house too. Whenever SD rears her ugly head it throws DH into a complete funk and it's like a dark cloud is hovering over us, it sucks.
Don't you love how she said I won't be coming there for a while, but yet she will be coming, games, that's all it is, a power play. Smack your DH out of it, he's at the beach, my gosh if I had just moved to the beach I'd be jumping for joy so tell him, suck it up, get happy.
Dh has lots of friends
Dh has lots of friends where we are as we had a cottage there for over 20 years too. He just misses his enmeshed life with SD I think. We could have a great life but he chooses to focus on the negative now. I am almost ready to give up.
How old is SD? Just curious,
How old is SD? Just curious, this is posted in Adult Steps section and mine is only 13... How many more years of nonsense do I have to endure? She's only 13 and already pulling the same BS. She implies our house scares her... SERIOUSLY? 'cause it is not a hovel in the dumps? You have your owns bedroom AND bathroom instead of sharing a bathroom with 4 people??
Power plays are horrible and it's true what someone said above- she needs to grow the hell up.
I can tell when DH has had a talk or text with her and his mood shifts. He snaps out of it pretty quickly, but the mood changes. Sometimes when BM is being particularly bitchy, he is moody too. I don't tiptoe around him like I used to, I just go about my business and he comes around, but we are not in a new house or environment either.
hugs
oldest Sd is 38 years old.
oldest Sd is 38 years old. YSD is 30- also not talking to her dad at all!
OSD ramped up the hate campaign when she started having kids of her own 10 years ago. I disengaged just over a year ago. My DH still seems to blame me for the Sd problems even though I did nothing to deserve her hatred. Not sure how long it will take to get over the bitterness we both seem to have, DH and I.
I'm copying my post over here
I'm copying my post over here from the duplicate.
OMG - all of this over being
Submitted by oldone on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 9:31am.
OMG - all of this over being 2 hours away from Daaaadeee? How utterly revolting.
I thought this was going to be a post about a father who is missing his small children by being a little further away.
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Your life sounds wonderful with a new house on the beach. My only advice is to just try not to interact with him when he is in one of these moods. It's not your fault nor is it your responsibility to cheer him up.
I've found that for some reason my DH gets in a bad mood after a long car ride (8 hours or more). Maybe a remnant of traveling with his ex and her children and their friends over the years. Driving 900+ miles in a van with 4 teens would push me over the edge.
He drove back to see me a couple of weeks ago (had to go to our second home for some business). When he arrived quite frankly he was just "bitchy" rather than being overjoyed to see me. First time we'd been apart in two years. I just ignored him and he was fine the next morning. (but no nookie for him the night he got in)
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My DH got all in an uproar
My DH got all in an uproar when we moved away from his hometown into the City where it wouldn't cost us a lot of money in gas for work. He got upset because he was away from his family (his son and his mom). In all honesty, I needed for DH to "cut the cord" with his family and have us grow in our marriage. It was difficult however, he realized that we weren't that far away from them.
Being away from them has been so helpful however, there have been moments of crankiness on his part but mostly, all is well.
Maybe we could just pack up
Maybe we could just pack up all the DH's in a funk over the SDs and send them someplace to get a grip. I will send mine too. I can't IMAGINE expecting to have any control over my parents' lives, and if I did have the nerve to say anything to them, they'd have had NO problem telling me it was none of my business.
Stepaside..... Do any of us
Stepaside.....
Do any of us really ever win in our situations.? We being the new wife come into a family that has been together all there life, we are outsiders and never will be what they are a family. No matter how hard we try its never good enough, It always some how comes back to being the wife's fault. I don't know about any of you but never once has my husband told his adult kids to show respect. Never once has he defended me. Mind you I take care of this man, like a king, I will do my best to make this marriage work. I have lost respect for my husband because of what he lets continue. Do I love him yes just not the same as it use to be.
"SD is angry and told us she
"SD is angry and told us she won't be coming up to the area for a "while". I hoped you asked for that statement in writing! 38 yo. :sick:
Just go and enjoy your life at the lake. Don't hang around and watch him mope!
He's pouting over moving 2
He's pouting over moving 2 hours away from his little precious 38 year old brat? That sounds kind of sick. It reminds me of the term "emotional incest" where the parent and the child are in an inappropriate enmeshed relationship. I can understand missing your family if you are used to seeing them every day and then moving so you can't see each other as often, but in this case SD only lives two hours away. It would not be that long of a drive for both of them to meet each other halfway have lunch , hang out, and talk for a while and then go back home. I apologize for not remembering but are you the lady who had that granny unit on the property where SD had lived and she had to move out because you guys were moving to the coast and selling the house? I seem to remember a post about opening champagne and doing a happy dance while you were bursting at the seems to not act to excited in front of DH because you were so thrilled that you were getting rid of SD? If it wasn't you then I'm sorry. My memory isn't the greatest. I remember a lot of the posts/stories but I haven't been able to connect everyone's names to their situations. If that was you, I am sorry that your happiness has to be disrupted by your DH's inability to cut the umbilical cord between himself and his adult brat. I hope he gets over it soon.
Tell him "life sucks, get a
Tell him "life sucks, get a helmet". He needs to realize that it's you two in the marriage that need to rest of your lives together.
I guess I don't get this "oh whoa is me" type of drama some guys put on their wives when they are not near their children and vice versa. It's about the marriage-the kids are grown up and can handle themselves.
Geez.
Hey you do not know for sure
Hey you do not know for sure that he is feeling all BOO HOO over SD's tricks so do not assume that.
DH's are susceptible to guilt tripping daughters for sure so it could be that but as other people here say it could be moving, sick parents, prostrate issues, who knows? They say women are mysterious but I think men are ten times harder to read and also less communicative and open about their issues. If it does turn out that crazy SD38 is the reason, then judge him to have lost it entirely. Move on and marry the very next George Clooney look a like that you run in to and get a life away from crazy people.