VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY long story short: I don't know if I want children.
DH and I have primary residential custody. SS11's BM, maternal grandmommy, maternal granddaddy are all f'ing NIGHTMARES and fit the textbook-definition of employing their skill at parental alienation with ss11. BM lives with her parents (she's 37, no job, on disability, making QUITE a living w/dh's alimony and her disability. Like, more than I make at my full-time 50 hour a week job which is in itself infuriating) so ss11 is exposed to all 3 of them all the time when he's there. SS11 is incredibly fragile, emotionally unstable, completely unreasonable, totally insane, overreactive, dramatic, etc etc etc.

1) I truly believe that if dh and I didn't have a child to raise together that wasn't mine (ss11) we'd have children of our own by now

2) I'm getting older now; almost 34 and wondering if I want to have children because my clock is ticking

3) I'm also wondering if I want to have children just because that's what youre supposed to do after you get married

4) I don't want to allow someone else to influence my decision making.

How did you all handle it when faced with the decision to have children w/dh or dw after you got married even with stepchildren in the picture? What factors came into play? Was it an easy decision? Hardest decision ever?
help!