What is it with these attorneys and the DH's who are getting screwed?!

DH and I just had ANOTHER "argument" about this last night.

Background: DH filed for custody of skids last year simply because BM's mother started making "suggestions" and "requests" to have more time with skids, move skids to different school district, etc" and he wanted to have their verbal arrangement at the time made legal and binding, so to speak. DH had been primary caregiver for skids 6 & 8 throughout entire marriage to BM, during the year post divorce before he met me and for the most part continues to be even now.
When DH went to court, BM was living in a motel, we were 99.9% positive that either BM or her bf were smoking marijuana around the skids because they always came home smelling like they slept in a bong and skids reported only seeing BM about one day per weekend.

Attorney told us it would be an open and shut case, I told DH that he would be crazy to believe that, but he didn't listen to me, of course.

BM, her father and BM bf went into court and basically LIED left, right, backward and forward. they lied so much that they contradicted each other's statements under oath.

Regarding time spent with kids (BM claimed she picked kids up from school every Thursday and dropped off on Mondays, her father actually told the truth, that either he or their grandmother picked them up on Fridays and he would drop them off back at our house on Sundays) and,

Regarding where BM was living (she claimed she had lived with her parents for the last 4 yrs or so after the divorce, despite the fact that skids were able to give us the name, city and room number of the motel where BM stayed, which is how we were able to put an address on the paperwork for BM to be served AND despite the fact that shortly after BM walked out on DH and skids, DH says he, felt obligated because they were still married, to help BM move into an apartment on the other side of town and her current bf helped DH move furniture into the apartment and that was 4 yrs ago :jawdrop: ).

The attorney dogged DH for "having BM shamed from the church during their marriage" (he claimed that because DH uncle is the Pastor, DH and the Pastor got together to cook up a scheme to make BM feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, so she stopped going). BM also claimed she left DH because DH "was unable to manage his finances and they were struggling financially because of it".

In all of this, DH attorney basically sat on her hands. DH says he thinks the attorney "just wants to take the high road" and I'm like WTF?! Taking the high road means you don't go and point out that her leaving because of financial struggles makes her sound like a Gold Digging B!%@# especially because she LEFT HER CHILDREN. The high road means you don't drag the kids into judge's chambers to recount, in detail, things they have told us about spending nights with their mother in the "insert name of motel here" apartment. The high road means you don't bring in witnesses to BM behaviors that led to her feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome in the church. That's the high road.

This attorney didn't take the high road, she sat back and did NOTHING, in my opinion. Sure, DH ended up with an order to collect CS and now he has every other weekend with skids instead of just weekdays, but BM isn't paying CS, BM got to have Thursday evenings and DH was made to look like a fool, if u ask me.

Here we are, gearing up for a "final" (I hope) court date and I told DH last night that he needs to at the very least, get a second opinion from some family lawyers that I know, but who are not privy to all of the personal/emotional details, about strategy or directions to take given the current state of things. I told him that his attorney is getting paid to argue and fight, to the best of her ability, for the case that DH wants her to present and that if DH talks with the attorney and doesn't like what she is saying, then he can present his wishes based on his own feelings and/or the advice of the other attorneys and his paid attorney can decide whether she wants to fight for him or back out.