Disney Daddy overload!
DH and I have SD5 50/50 every other week. She got here on Thursday night and in that short amount of time, so far DH has taken her for ice cream, taken her to the pet store to get fish, taken her out to eat, and he is planning on taking her to see a movie later today (in addition to that, the whole time she is here she just follows DH around like a freakin puppy). Am I overreacting or is that a little much? It's like this every time she is here. I could see if he only saw her 1-2 days a week and wanting to make everything fun, but she is here every other week for the full week. 7 days straight. That's a pretty damn long time of all fun and games if you ask me. It's like our lives are put on hold so the whole world can revolve around SD when she's here! My opinion is that we should carry on with our normal lives and not make her feel like some kind of special visitor. What do you think?
No I don't expect her to sit
No I don't expect her to sit in her room all week, but why can't she go play outside? I don't recall my parents entertaining me 24/7 when I was a kid. I don't see a problem with him taking her out a couple times per visit but multiple times a day for 7 days straight? I just think it's extreme. But thanks for the response. Also, no she doesn't have any friends because she won't get out of her dad's ass for 5 minutes to make any friends.
I had friends all over the
I had friends all over the place. I had them at each grandparents' houses and I was only there two weeks a year. I went outside and played because no one spent 100% of their time entertaoning me.
She should be able to
She should be able to entertain herself awhile, if you have her 50% of the time then you share the same as BM and I bet BM doesn't spend 100% of her time entertaining her. If your husband keeps this up she will come to expect to get 100% of his attention every time y'all have her.
Apparently splitting time one
Apparently splitting time one week at a time is the recommended for separated parents. Mostly not possible for majority. It is said by experts that it has less negative effect on parent child relationship as both are equal. Brownie points for you both. If she spends 50 50 time with you then BM (if reasonable) and BD should work out routine from the same page so her life is consistent. I understand your feelings but a little child will pick up on your hostile vibes( perfectly natural feelings by the way) and that will make her more clingy a dad more protective. Try not to see her as a threat. She is clingy to dad because her routine is not there yet and she senses your challenge. Back away and you should see a change. Go to their activities too maybe? She is prob feeling the same feelings you are? I'm no expert but I can see your and her points of view. Oh I hate being a SM, it's the worst thankless job in the world. Only special people can do it and I am not one of them. Maybe you are?
Is there any way your h and
Is there any way your h and you can work something out so that she has alone time with him, time with both of you, independent time, and even work in some one on one time with you?
My h was also a disney dad and everything revolved around his daughters when they were with us. When his eldest moved in with us full time at almost 17 she still expected to have absolutely everything revolve around her
All conversation had to be with or about her. She threw temper tantrums if there was a get together with my family or friends...she felt I should go alone and dh and her should have nothing to do with that. It escalated to such a point that she felt that she could simply tell dh that he must dump me because she didn't like me and since she was his DAUGHTER and everything revolved HER that he should do that - only then did my h realize the absolute monster he had created
Ysd on the other hand who was far easier welcomed visits with my family and friends, enjoyed alone time with me along with alone time with her dad, and lots of time with the both of us. We have a far better relationship than h's eldest and I
If you dh caters to his child this way I think he's risking her thinking like is a big vacation with dad where everything revolves around her and on the occasion it doesn't they may well be war
Sorry to put a cog in the
Sorry to put a cog in the work - but my partners daughter is 17 years old has now lived with him full time for 12 months :sick:
Before that it was EOW and 2 nights a week - she moved in because my house went up for sale and her dad and I were going to buy a home together !!!
That was all I needed PRINCESS to move in full time for me to make a decision to take my house off the market - no way was I living with spoilt entitled miserable child }:)
WE have been together for over 11 years :jawdrop: WHY?????? I ask myself sometimes.
Disney dads never change I'm afraid - It goes on & on & on & on & on ..........
Sorry christinen - live your life, do things for you and disengage from this toxic mess xxx
I feel for you. I am totally
I feel for you. I am totally agree with your thoughts- Children should by no means be left to their own devices 24/7 but all these constant treats and special trips are no doubt going to turn this child into an awfully spoilt brat.
We have my SD approx 40% of the week and if my other half behaved like this I would be furious!!
What is needed are some ideas to wean her out of expecting these grand gestures every time she comes over, and some education of your SO that he doesn't need to do all this to keep her happy and entertained (not forgetting the amount of money no doubt being spent here!)
I don't know if these are any help but try suggesting a family picnic (free! apart from the food which everyone would need wether they were at home or out!), a trip to the beach (free), an afternoon in the park (free- as long as your SO can hold off on the ice creams!).
And yes, If she is there 50% of tyhe week there is no reason why she cant make friends with the other children in your neighbourhood.
Can you have a chat with your other half?
Best of luck xxx