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Wee bit paranoid?

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Tue, 05/28/2013 - 9:22pm

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Adult Stepchildren

Ok.....dh and I back from our vacation.. We were able to turn things around, but only because I did apologize for getting so angry at dh. He was guilty of being very thoughtless.........phone call and texts first three days of our long awaited vacation......with a daughter who has treated him cruelly at best....taking him to court multiple time for cars, cells, and to remain at a fancy college.......all the while falsifying her grades to him. No contact, mercifully, on any social level in 4 years.
I must say that this only confirms to me that dh's parents are totally ignoring their granddaughters behaviors over the years and trying desperately to bring about a reunion between my dh and his daughters.. Recall that his daughter cruelly left message that she was calling at their directive........after getting a truckload of money from them no less. And yes, to think that they would consider the effect on my marriage, would make them saints, right?
I also have to wonder at the timing? The first day of our vacation she calls?
Yes.......I am paranoid tonight. However recall that we got a court order in the mailbox on our wedding day.. These people hold grudges, AND they act out their anger in very nasty ways..
I think that dh angered the pack a few months ago when he shared that I was not willing to welcome youngest daughter in........so is it a stretch to now question why the oldest one is contacting him, multiple times, on our vacation. Hmmmmm........I know I likely sound nutty, and maybe I have become this way by the crazy interactions over the past few years..

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 2:28am

I wish grandparents could love their grandchildren enough to let them sort out their relationships with their dads by themselves. I wish grandparents could love and respect their sons enough to allow them to sort out their relationships with their children by themselves. I wish grandparents would pull their heads in and mind their own business. I wish grandparents could just have their say to their OWN child once then let it be. I wish grandparents would mind their own damn business and stop encouraging self centred, spoilt brats with an over inflated sense of entitlement to destroy their fathers happiness. I have 4 grandchildren, if they ended up being estranged from my daughters I would not like it at all. However I would see my job as supporting my daughter and grandchildren. Not causing more trouble between the two by supporting child against parent.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 6:19am

Thank you ebu for expressing so eloquently.. I think dh has choices.....so do I. We all do, and as I shared with him on our vacation, there is no place for his daughters in our marriage, based on their hurtful willful behaviors in the past and present.. He can engage on his own.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 6:32am

I guess what also bothers me so much is that the grandparents are acting as if money will somehow make these girls respect their father, and the real issue is that they are rewarding the terrible behavior by giving them the money, and no mention made of how they and their mother have treated their own son... That silence has made these now women, what they are today, entitled, and terribly self absorbed. God help their spouses and children. They are incapable of giving. Who knows how the story will end, but I do know that no matter what they do against my dh, they know that it will never be discussed. And my father in law is the one that always provokes me with comments made against dh's ex.. No more will I be sucked into it.......I will disengage from them as well.. They clearly are choosing their side,and it is not to help my marriage..

Towanda's picture

Submitted by Towanda on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 6:53am

NewI, I am so sorry she ruined most of your vacation. I figure it was on purpose to ruin it too. I have had similar experiences with my two SD's.

Even if Grandpa said, " I am giving you this money but you have to promise me to make ammends with your dad" (which maybe he did), these girls are more likely to DEMAND ammends, not figure out what they did wrong.

I would guess that is what SD was doing. Demanding ammends. Plus ,get a few digs in because Daddy was on vacation and they wouldn't want him to have a good time and forget about their sorry asses and how wonderful it is without them in his life.

If it makes you feel any better, my youngest SD blew through her humongous chunk of inheritance in three years and has now racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt. My poor son in law (whom she is divorcing) is responsible for her debts. She is penniless now too. She just recently contact my DH and demanded reconciliation after much hateful, painful wrong doings. DH didn't fall for it. She reverted right back to flying insults at him. (ie: he is delusional, needs psychiatric help, he has been a vile, horrible father, blah blah blah) It took a whole 30 minutes before her true self reappeared.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 7:07am

Yes I do think the fact that dh was on vacation with me is likely what motivated his daughter to engage in phone tag and texting those three days.........just like her texting him about how to get the money, done on Mother's Day morning.. Very coincidental?
Sady, yes, they will have their hooks in dh until he dies.........they have the upper hand because their is no accountability....

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 6:53am

Well stepaside, your comments got me thinking.......I am sure she called purposefully on our vacation. But how would she know? I posted on my Facebook page, that very day of contact, and our last big trip two years ago......she called her father on it as well......over some stupid insurance question.........
Scary chicks huh? I worry how far they will go to hang on to their possession..

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 7:10am

He would never agree to that. He worships his father. No, I have to not let it get to me.....unfortunately we do not take vacation often..

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 11:17am

Dh blames me........he does agree wedding day bomb was awful, but says I can choose to forget about it.. He does not believe any connection to vacations. I guess I have to let it go, which is hard. When they contact him, it is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.. I have to deal with it better........they will always have this crazy dance amongst themselves.....they come together, go off angry, and around it goes.. I can only see it and keep my mouth shut I guess. Not healthy for anyone, and certainly not for my marriage.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 7:22am

The very first vacation that we took , when dating, was marred by his daughter calling every morning at 7 am and then she called with ex to get into his house on some excuse she needed a school paper in there.. Dh refused to give them permission. I recall we came home on fri, so he could have his weekend visitation, and it blew up within a few hours when his very angry daughter came over.. I do not know fully what happened, but she was filled with anger....called her mother, who came tearing over, and then she called the police on dh in his own driveway. Dh was deeply wounded by the day.....but clearly one can see the pattern of when he vacations.. Sounds like they have deep issues, yes?

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 4:48pm

I hear that their mother is engaged now, and I will be totally honest here.......I have had major fantasies about that witch getting a court action from ME in her mailbox on her big day. But that is as far as I would ever take something like that. That behavior on our wedding day totally shocked me.....never experienced such sadistic behavior..
And it continues to shock me that dh never addressed it with his daughters! The farce continues........they are victims, blah bah blah..I hear your idea stepaside, but they do scare me, right? How far will they go to hurt me?
No......I think fantasizing is as far as I will go.........
So......how do I prevent them from knowing my big ticket events? Dh called me a narcissist when I told him I thought she was calling to get back at me. He lived with these chicks for years and still does not have their number!! His own sister warned me before the wedding, that they should not know where or when.........but we did not listen..

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 7:27am

I feel for you. I understand totally. DH makes good money....to MIL, SKIDs and both BILs...he is money tree, doormate to listen to their problems, and/or what DH to do something for them. Marriage is hard enough...without famly drama outiside of the marriage. We went out of state to get married. MIL called just hours before we got married...to ask if BIL could borrow FDH's other car. WTF!!! I could right a book.