I'm going for the advice first, sorry! Please don't give up having pictures done because someone outside your immediate family might get bent out of shape about it. You will regret not having the photos you want just because the in-laws might get upset. If it were your DH getting shirty about it, then ok.... but really, just get the photos you want done! You can't rewind the clock and get these pictures after the in-laws get over themselves.

1. 1 step, 1 bio
2. step does not live with us
3. No step in photos. She's not here, and there's no reason to pretend that our family doesn't exist when she isn't around.

SD doesn't live with you due to her own actions. Why should you feel bad for having photos done of the family as it actually currently exists? Would you not take photos of everyone on a vacation because SD isn't there? Or of a holiday or birthday because she's not around? No. So don't let her being there dictate other photos either.

I'm having a similar concern right now. I have three children of my own and ss13. Dh and I are expecting our first in July. With EVERY pregnancy I did a pregnancy photo shoot with the ex and the kids. They were so cute - kids were todlers and they were wonderful.

I'd like to do pregnancy photos with my kids and DH. I know DH will want SS included, but SS is less than thrilled about the baby. I suppose I will include him - doesn't mean I need to purchase photos with him in it, I guess.

Similar situation when the baby arrives. I'll def get pics of the baby done immediately and will of course want ones with my children as well. Maybe SS will be at his mom's during that time... }:)

Not sure.

The kid just makes the experience unpleasant.

1. 2 bios, 1 adopted (former step) and 2 steps
2. Complicated! The boys (1 bio and 1 step) are still at home. BS13 lives here fulltime and SS9 is with us 50% of the time. The girls are all adults. SD20 lives with her mom, AD19 has an apt and BD18 is back home from college for 2 months. She will be moving back to an apt in Aug.
3. I let everyone know the date we are doing pictures. I try to make a day we all can come but it doesn't always work out. I do groupings. Usual groupings are SO and his kids, me and mine, SO and I, and then everyone all together, but occasionally we have switched it up. I give copies of all pics to everyone and they display what they want to in their space. In our house, I put a frame with the pic of everyone together in the middle then all the others around it. No needs to know which are my favorites.

Advice- if you leave her out it will hurt her and she might escalate her behaviors.

I have:

1 stepson 2 bio daughters
They all live with us 50% of the time (on the same days)
All family photos include all of us, we are a family.

I cringe whenever DH brings up the "family photo" subject. I really don't want to take those pictures. I always take pictures of DH with the skids. He has taken a few of BS27 and I. I really don't want to hang a portrait of the "family" in my house. We pay for skids school pics but never get them from BM. I know I should just suck it up but..... :sick:

DO NOT let the fact that you have stepkids stop you from having a family photo with your husband and your bios. Nothing can take away from that family unit and you should not miss out on having those memories just because an older stepkid exists. Personally, my parents would not want a photo with stepkids in it and neither would I, so why would I go through the trouble of including a stepkid?? Stick to your guns!!

AND this question brings me to my next question: Do you have to include the stepkids in a Photo Christmas Card that you want to send out of just you, your husband and your children that you have together? What if you have no children together but would like to send a photo of just you and your husband??

I see nothing wrong with you having a family pic without your SD. She's not in your home and you are not on good terms with her. Focus on your kids and what you can do to make them better people and totally don't worry about the inlaws. They need to MYOB.

Take the pic with out the steps!

I have 2 skids and no bios. When we do family pictures, we do one as a whole family together, and then one of just DH and I. I don't really care what people think about the pictures I choose to hang up in my own home. And you shouldn't either.

Do what you want. Skid shouldn't have that much weight in a decision like this. Do what makes YOU and DH happy. Do you want to walk by that picture everyday and be reminded of how much unhappiness she's caused just so you can keep the occassional visitors content?

My in laws hate me, so I could not give one flying rats ass what they think about what photos I put where. I have 2 bios, one skid, one hubby (as If I needed to clarify that, LOL). If we get a family photo done, it's because we all live together 24/7. my kids sperm donor is in prison, and my dh's egg donor is on the streets with a heroin needle in her arm somewhere. So, IF we got a family photo it would be all of us. I would insist, of course, that some shots be taken of just my 2 boys together, maybe me and my 2 boys, me and all 3 boys, DH and his son, etc. It's OK to get multiple shots done and keep/frame what you like.

ON my FB page however, WHOLE OTHER story. I will never put a pic of my skid on my fb page. Why should I? Nothing about him at all worth bragging over, If he moved away with heroin momma and never came back, i'd never bat an eye. I do, however, boast about my kids constantly online. As most parents do. DH has a FB, he can post whatever he wants about his kid on HIS wall. He aint going on mine.

And, sometimes just for shits and giggles and because my MIL is my "fb" friend, I post spectacular wonderful things about MY TWO FABULOUS BOYS and nothing about her grandson, who's autism and other medical diagnoses she kept concealed and ignored for 5 years of my ss9's life. YES, that's why i'm hated: I outed the kid. made that family address his needs. God forbid a child be taken care of properly. The horrors of that.....Oh and cuz they feel bad for the heroin addict baby momma "poor BM, she had such a hard life growing up"....OK.... }:)

I have 2 bios, 1 step. I try to include SS in family photos when we take them, as we only have summer and holiday custody at this time.

BUT... if my SS pulled what your SD did, I don't know if I'd be comfortable having her in my house, let alone my family photo.

We don't do formal pics of any kind, but tons of pics at all events or just because.

That said- SD is never around.

We got married a while back and none of the pics up around the house has her in them...

ooops.

we dont do formal family photos. dynamics are we live together, not married, i have one 19yr bio that lives with us and works, 2 skids that come every other wknd. i just take action shots during all the things that we do and then when its time for christmas cards, whatever, i do collages of all the pics. and the pics that are framed around the house are school pics bm gives us and pics i print out that ive taken

2 steps, 4 bios
Steps don't live with us
Photos no steps. The only photos up of steps is on the side of the fridge. I don't have to worry about mil. Even mil put her photos of the steps away 2 weeks ago because they treat her like crap.

I have going on 2 bio and 1 ss. We rarely get to see ss because of several reasons, bm is crazy and moved him to another state so it makes it really hard. DH and I do both forms of pictures. With all the kids and just with the bios. We want family pictures and so do the rest of our family but its hard to get everyone in one. The last time we saw ss was last july for less than a week and the time before that was 2 days in February so he could meet his baby brother, which bm threw a fit about. We got family pictures in February but they looked like crap, I had just had a baby a few weeks before and dh and I looked like hell because we were still waking up constantly at night and were sleep deprived. So the next family photos did not have him in them and they looked fantastic. DH has a tattoo sleeve on his right arm that says ss name and has other picutres on it so he advertised those in the pictures to make it seem like he was there. I would try to include her in the family picture at the least. If she doesnt want to or doesnt show up then you have your way. but you can not cut her out of the family she is the children sibling and that is her father. and just not even trying to include her would be like saying you are not part of this family. And if she does show up do two sets if dh agrees one with her and one without.

One step, no bios. The Skid lives with us.

We do pics when we feel like it and include SS .... or not depending on if he is on SpermLand visiation at the time.

I would just do what you want and not let what others think bother you in the least.

I don't.