I can't tell you how young is too young, because it depends on the kids. His 9 year old sounds like she might actually BE too young to make a sandwich because it sounds like DADDDEEEEEEE has then good and crippled.

I can tell you this. I've got 7 kids here between his, mine, and ours. They are 14, 13, 10, 9, 6, 3, and 1. The only one who can't make a sandwich is the 1 year old. While the 3 year old is not allowed to go troll the kitchen and help herself, with some supervision, she absolutely CAN and WILL (in fact, she loves to) make herself a PBJ, or spread mayo on bread and put cheese and meat on it.

I find it kinda sad that he doesn't want his children to learn to do these things for themselves. Who will get their food when they move out and go their own way? Or is this in hopes that they never leave? My kids have all kinds of opportunities to learn to do things for themselves.

Not the B word.. :sick: Think he may have to be slapped upside the head if you don't mind me saying! Its called cut the cord DH in this case.

Wait - a 14yo is TOO YOUNG to make a sandwich? Tell him that both of my kids cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the family at *12*. I would be embarrassed if my 14yo wasn't able to make a sandwich.

Too young was the best excuse he could come up with at the time. The truth he is he WANTS to do these things for his kids.

Instead of making up a dumb excuse, he should have just said of course they can but I enjoy/don't mind doing those things for them.

My DH still cuts up his 16 year old daughter's toast into soldiers for her egg. Agree with Disneyfan, this is harmless enough, but when this attitude is transferred to life in general, it is setting the kids up to fail to launch.

The motto with kids should be "don't do for them that which they can do for themselves". Anything else, and they will get it firmly fixed in their brains that they don't have to be independent, because Dad is always there to do whatever for them. Slightly more concerning when the kids are mid to late teens.

he calls his 18 year old son "baby" and the kid is ok with it? :O :sick:

" Just have to say that the one thing I will do for kids " OPERATIVE WORD IN THIS SENTANCE IS IIIIII. And I would make sure HE does it

This is when I'd put it back on him. Ask him how old he was when he started making sandwiches himself??? Was he 14? 18? 29?

This is something I'm working on with my SD10. Our situation is different where she fairly "pint sized" (as she would say), and even with a step stool, she can't reach a lot of the stuff in our kitchen. So what I do, is get the stuff she can't reach, out for her. Right now she's just doing PB toast & microwave bacon (her faves).

My DH originally objected... But then I told him about when I was SDs age and my sister and I (sister was cooking full meals and doing laundry for the whole family. Granted, my sis was a little young for that, but still.

Yes, it's all very well to say he will get them a meal every night, but they should be able to make a sandwich, get a bowl of cereal etc.

And it's even ok for him to WANT to get it for his kids sometimes. The key being SOMETIMES and being that the rest of the time he is teaching them to do for themselves, to know how to take care of themselves so that when they are young adults and LEAVE home they are capable independent grown-ups.

They are NOT babies.

My OH was the same until recently, "but they're too young!!" (at SD nearly 13 and ss nearly 10) Until I pointed out that my 7 and 10 year olds (who are half the size of the skids) get their own breakfast/lunch etc MOST weekends. And if a 7 yo can do it what is wrong with his 12 nearly 13 yo that she can't??

Last Sunday we had ss here, OH told him to get his breakfast as he had to drop him off soon, then proceeded to get his own (OH) SS was on the sofa, watching TV. He said (I kid you not) "NO, you get if for me!"

Oh said "No. you get your own I am not your servant!!" (way to go Sexy!!)

SS - nothing, continued to sprawl on the sofa and do nothing.

OH - "SS. we have to go in half an hour you need to eat breakfast then get changed and pack your bag."

SS - NO!! YOU DO IT FOR ME!!

OH ignored him. Time marches on, SS still sitting there, with an extrememly PO'd expression on his face. OH tells him again, get your breakfast, get dressed or I am taking you like that.

SS - NO.

Finally he went and got dressed and packed his bag, but left the house with NO food.

I was SO proud of my man. He didn't cave. He said "undoubtedly I will cop a serve from BM for not feeding him." Whatever.

That's the battle cry of my dh....they are too young, they're just little kids. Until that is...I tell him that he can handle it for them then because I won't anymore. Then they instantly become old enough.

That's the battle cry of my dh....they are too young, they're just little kids. Until that is...I tell him that he can handle it for them then because I won't anymore. Then they instantly become old enough.

That's the battle cry of my dh....they are too young, they're just little kids. Until that is...I tell him that he can handle it for them then because I won't anymore. Then they instantly become old enough.

my DH likes to do stuff like that for them the majority of the time, that's how his mom was with him and he enjoys it so i pretty much stay out of it. but not all the time.

conversation last weekend w/ SS13
SS13 "daddy i'm hungry"
DH "well, we've got sandwich stuff"
SS13 "make me a ckn sandwich"
DH "i'm in the middle of something, u'll have to wait a few." (didnt address being given orders...)
SS13 "but it'll only take you a second, just take two pieces of bread w/ some sliced chicken, that's all"
Me "that's it? that's all it takes? no mustard or anything, u want it as easy as ckn slapped between bread???"
SS13 "yeah, it's that easy"
Me "well then hop to it! help yourself son!"
SS13 "gggaaaahhhh...."

it's not that skids are incapable, they just dont do it themselves cuz they've never had to, there's always someone to do it for them as a safety net (not just w/ food, but with pretty much everything!) and they get it from Dumbass, that's exactly how she lives her life.... ugh.

I had all this rubbish with my YSD, who was then 12 - she apparently could't tie her shoe laces, asked Daddeeeeee to carry her upstairs to bed, couldn't cut the top off of her boiled egg.....couldn't use the microwave, etc etc. DP used to pander to her until Jocasta-the-wicked-stepmother came on board. My horror-stricken face must have said it all the first time I witnessed this behaviour. I later old him he was doing her no favours by babying her.

The best one was though when we were coaching YSD for a presentation she was doing. I suggested we do a mock up of the interview and I, masquerading as the interviewer, asked her "YSD, what is your opinion on X?" She paused for a moment and said "Daddy, what do I think?".....Grrrrrrrrrr!! Needless to say she didn't pass the interview and wasn't offered a place.

I had all this rubbish with my YSD, who was then 12 - she apparently could't tie her shoe laces, asked Daddeeeeee to carry her upstairs to bed, couldn't cut the top off of her boiled egg.....couldn't use the microwave, etc etc. DP used to pander to her until Jocasta-the-wicked-stepmother came on board. My horror-stricken face must have said it all the first time I witnessed this behaviour. I later old him he was doing her no favours by babying her.

The best one was though when we were coaching YSD for a presentation she was doing. I suggested we do a mock up of the interview and I, masquerading as the interviewer, asked her "YSD, what is your opinion on X?" She paused for a moment and said "Daddy, what do I think?".....Grrrrrrrrrr!! Needless to say she didn't pass the interview and wasn't offered a place.