I agree with foxie. You can also get paperwork to get it reduced.

What state do you live in? Some states have formulas that account for other children and some states do not.

Since your husband has custody now, his ex must be making child support payments to him right? Both divorced parents should be responsible for financially supporting the child. Despite what a previous poster has written, it sounds like it's the ex wife/Bio Mom that needs to get the job. She probably owes your husband years of back CS.

When the federal government gave guidelines to the states for states to develop child support formulas the guidelines stated that all children have equal right to their parent's income. You and your husband's children most certainly SHOULD factor in. However not every state sees it that way.

^^^ Check your state laws. Some do, some don't. Mine does, so it will factor for us.

And for goodness sakes I hope she owes you a crapload of back-CS because she's the one who's been sitting on her butt all this time not supporting her child.

Since your DH has custody, BM has a CS order against her and you have three BKs in your home then it certainly is possible that the a new CS order against your DH would be less than the previouse CS order if custody does shift to BM. Also, arrears against BM will be a big leverage point to fight her recouping custody of the kid. If she can't be accountable for paying such a paltry CS amount how can she be trusted with the custody of the child that she has proven she has no interest or ability to care for? Even the usual moron bottom 10%ers of the legal profession family law judges can recognize this ... maybe.

I would own her ass on this one if I were your DH.

As far as the court ordering a change in custody because your Skid wishes it .... I am not aware of any state that allows a minor child to chose which parent they want to live with without a judge assessing the reasoning of the child and making the ultimate decision. Some states do not allow a child to express a preference, some states allow the judge to chose to hear the childs wishes, some states allow children of appropriate age to "chose" but ultimately it is entirely the Judge's choice in each and every state. I would say that from what you shared about BM it is extremely unlikely that a judge would rule that it is in the best interests of your Skid to live with the worthless POS BM.

Check your states regulations on this to be sure as I am not an attorney.

Here is a link for a site that provides information on all 50 states custody laws.
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/a/custody_laws.htm

Regarding jurisdiction of your case. If either party is resident in the state where the original order was issued then jurisdiction likely will remain in that state. That is my understanding anyway. In our case the SpermIdiot remained in the state where the CO was issued and so did the CO for the entire 17+ years that the CO was in effect. My wife moved away for college when the kid was 1yo and never moved back to her home state. Shortly after we married we moved to Texas which stipulates that if the child is resident in Texas for 6mos that the CO can be transferred to the county courts where the child is resident. We never actually changed venue but be did threaten several times. CS would likely have gone up by more than 1000% from $110/mo in SpermLand to more than $1000/mo in Texas. The downside is that visitation would have likely doubles from 7 to 14+ weeks. No amount of money was worth exposing the kid to more time with the vitrolic crap served up by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.

So we kept the huge increase in CS as a big stick to beat them with when they got stupid and our attorney would send them letters stipulating that a change of venue to Texas was immenant if they did not get in line. It worked well as a motivator for them to follow the original CO and to STFU and do what they were told when they were told when we had to put our foot down on their toxic crap.

Again, check what the rules are in the state where your CO was issued.

For context, DW and I married when the Skid was 1yo (nearly 2). So, much like you I have been in the Skids life for most of his life. He is now 20 so we no longer have to deal with this crap.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.

Sincerely,

Actually, I agree with San Antonio Soccer Mom. You might be able to postpone any legal actions until you return to the States under the Service members Civil Relief Act.

Usually when the NCP has more spawn there will be no impact on current CS and CS will likely go upthe next time the CP asks for a CS review. The first brood generally takes precidence over any subsequent spawning.

Even in extreme cases of breeding this will likely be the case.

In our blended family adventure my DW is the CP and my SS-20 is our only child. We met when SS was 15mos old and married a week before he turned 2.

The SpermIdiot went on to spawn three more also out-of-wedlock children by two more babby mammas. He tried to get CS lowered shorly after it was invoked. It went up.

After his #2, #3 and #4 were hatched I was RIF'd in the semiconductor industry down turn and we decided that since I had no income it would be a good time to file for more CS since it had been more than 8 years since the last CS modification and since my income was considered by the courts to lower his CS on the first occassion. As I said, he now had three more spawn. He and SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa who raise the younger three in their home with no help from their DipShitIot son were hopeful that CS would go down. It went up by nearly 600%. They appealed and it was reduced but the net was still 300% more than it had been when my SS was his only child.

My SS has been out from under the CO and the SpermClan has paid no CS in nearly 3 years and they still bitch about how it was so unfair that they still had to pay CS after the younger three SpermIdiot spawn were dropped.

The good news in your case is that you and DH have custody of SS and do not currently pay CS for SS. I would make for damned sure that you and DH fight SS returning to the custody of his crack head mother tooth and nail. Your home is obviously far superior to hers. Also to make damned sure that you retain your resources for your children. I am not sure how your situation would turn out if SS goes back to BM's custody since it could be argued that you are currently an intact family. I am sure your DH would be on the hook for CS if SS did go back to to BM but since you already have three more in the home SS currently resides it the outcome could be very interesting.

Is BM paying CS for your SS currently? If not, I would nail her ass to the CS wall in a hurry in order to gain some leverage during this whole SS custody deal.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.

I'd be filing contempts on the deadbeat mom and asking for back CS.

How old is the kid?

my SD's mom popped out 3 more kids and refused to work part time to make support payments. court wouldnt touch her due to the other three kids but tacked on an additional 150$ every month of non payment. She now owes 33,600$ and gave up custody of all 4 kids. She moved down to mississippi and she's working so part time she cant even make a full payment, we were told we got first money b/c SD was first born in first family, but its only about half the payment a month and we were told tough tooties- you get what you get! it really really stinks! in your case- get a lawyer sounds like there may be leeway or lowering of support. They always told Magic mom (BM) if she made an effort to work they'd lower support for the other 3 she popped out but she never made the effort so they never lowered it for her. so sorry I'd fight to keep him.

Let's move away from the financials for a moment and discuss your SS.

You said he wants to move in with her. How often has Ss seen his mother? What the longest time that he has been with her?

One of the problems with limited time is setting the OP up to be "the forbidden fruit." You and family is being compared not to Ss life with mom, but with Ss fantasy of life with mom.

Given your situation, the kid basically has a choice to make because he can't live with both parents.

How old is he?