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HELP! BM claims she wants us to love each other

supermom89's picture

Submitted by supermom89 on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:12pm

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BM wants a truce. Says its whats best for (SD5) but problem is I don't believe her. Just a few months ago she told DH she does not like me and does not respect me as a woman nor his wife now she wants to be 'cool'. What do I do?? Also she said she will take DH off court ordered child support if we can all truce...so of course DH is saying do it. But, I hate being fake. Gahhh what do i do? I don't want to be 'friends' I don't LOVE the BM I love my SD(5)

supermom89's picture

Submitted by supermom89 on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:13pm

ps she says 'she thinks I think she is jealous of our marriage and shes not. she could care less'

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:18pm

I would just be cordial. I wouldn't be "friends" with her but everyone can just be nice and get along for the kids sake. You don't have to like her but it is easier to be nice than to be having a feud. I still wouldn't trust her or divulge any extra information to her.

Years ago when I was married to my exh, the BM was crazy and so mean to me. I was always nice to her for the sake of my SD who was 5. Years later I divorced him and guess who wanted to be friends?? Yep BM. Its because I was always the bigger person and I was always nice to her in spite of how she treated me. Now I am still close to my exsd, I am nice to her mother. We are not "friends" but I feel I can call her anytime if I needed to.

supermom89's picture

Submitted by supermom89 on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:21pm

thanks for the advice but I have been cordial. At SDs birthday party she got in my face drunk saying I'm not being a good SMOM I don't call enough, etc. She FEEDS off drama so I'm feeling like a one time convo is all i should give her saying I have no beef with her.

IAmALady77's picture

Submitted by IAmALady77 on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:37pm

I love how BM's think they have any power over CS once it enters the courts lol, first of all she does NOT have the power to end his CS, it is court ordered, only a judge can end it and they are not going to unless your SD lives with you I think it is more than 60 percent (I know ppl still have to pay even on 50/50). Also, do NOT I repeat DO NOT befriend this woman. She is just trying to be manipulative and gain your trust so she can "get dirt" on you, been there done that. Be cordial but stay smart and don't feel the need to do anything she says truce or not Smile

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Thu, 05/02/2013 - 7:58pm

Be polite, like you would to that cashier at the grocery store that you don't really like, ya know the one with the shifty eye that always bruises your apples by dropping them in the bag from the maximum possible height? Yeah, like that. Like when you see her at T-ball, be like "Oh, hey there." and kind of smile with half your mouth but don't show any teeth. But don't be friending her on Facebook and shit, and for sure don't be having a little girl's night with her. That's just over the top and completely unnecessary.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 10:03am

If I read this right, it is not that she wants to end support, she just wants to end the state involvement with it automatically coming out of his checks. Am I correct?

Either way, she is lying. And I, personally, PREFERRED it be taken from his checks. That eliminates the conversations/accusations regarding money between BM and DH.

Jellybeam's picture

Submitted by Jellybeam on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:10pm

NO NO A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!!! Pay the child support. Keep a slimy bitch like that AWAY or you will have problems like mine-see my blog. Anytime a woman gives up free money, they have an agenda. Love up to Dh and get rid of you so they can be awwwww a happy family again. NO!