I feel checked out

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It is nothing specific... We had a raging fight about a month ago, the issues are dealt with.

I just feel checked out. I'm not mad, I'm not happy, I'm sad. I love DH, he is absolutely trying to make me feel loved and ok. Issues with SD are moving along, she wants to spend more time here, so that is GREAT for DH. I don't want to interfere with that. (its EOWE)

BM is a nightmare, and they have just come off some court stuff. I don't know- do I feel uneasy because they were in court recently and she is behaving like a human? (Im at a point with bM where I just don't care anyomore, she can do what she wants, she will not break my peace)

DH says CS etc.. is put to bed- its decided, and everything is settled.

I just feel like the other shoe will drop and I can't relax until it does. Have the rest of you felt like this? and will it go away?

(SD14 and I have an uneasy truce- she's polite and has been quite pleasant actually, but past behaviour dictates I will not put my guard down)

edit- I thought I was at a

edit- I thought I was at a point where BM can't bother me

Good…checks threads re

Good…checks threads re disengaging.

Sorry- I wasn't clear. I feel

Sorry- I wasn't clear.

I feel checked out from DH

Yup, me too. I don't care

Yup, me too. I don't care anymore if he comes home on time for dinner, comes to bed, or even talks to me. Our having his SS's FT for the past year has been hell on our marriage.
So I checked out and feel like I am just existing. Like one of the posters on here, A Ghost Who Cooks Dinner.

I know for a fact that if my

I know for a fact that if my stepsons lived with us full-time (we have them every other week), my marriage wouldn't last six months. That makes me sick, but it's the truth. They would destroy our marriage.

That's it- I feel like I need

That's it- I feel like I need to recover...

so far disengagement has been

so far disengagement has been fantastic for me.

i do feel tho that in some ways my fiance has checked out. we just dont seem as close...almost as if he somehow feels hurt or betrayed by my not wanting to be around his kid any more than i have to be. i know he craves being a family together but SD ruined that. ive given that girl so many chances, until i receive a sincere apology from her for her lies, manipulative behavior and overall rudeness i just dont have the energy.

i know he's happy we are fighting less. that is directly attributed to my disengagement.

My DH seemed to think we'd

My DH seemed to think we'd all get along like one big happy family, too. Ain't gonna happen! WAY too much drama and BS from BM for that to ever happen. He wanted BM and me to become good friends. We don't even have anything in common, except for the fact that we're both human females and have reproduced.

I truly respect your honesty

I truly respect your honesty with him. It must be hard and so it sounds very brave of you.

Post Traumatic Stress

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ocs? Try a vacation without the kid. Even a long weekend might get things moving again.

DH and I have tried to get

DH and I have tried to get his vasectomy reversed twice. Both times some unforeseeable medical issue pops up and we have to postpone (two different, unrelated issues).

Skids came over this weekend going on and on and on about the baby that BM just had.

After all the struggle we've had to even be able to get pregnant, coupled with all the shit she's talked about us and having more kids, it just makes me want to take a long vacation by myself.

I'm not really checked out, I'm just sick of things feeling like they never go our way. But I get the blah you feel.

Thanks you all for your

Thanks you all for your responses. I really appreciate it! BM and her demands and court have been unending. I think that I just need some time to NOT hear her name, or have to deal with anything related to her. (other than SD- but I wish could stay away from her too for awhile)

SMof2- I'm so sorry. I know the feeling. SD will go on and on about her 2 siblings, then my inlaws ask incessant questions about these kids that have NOTHING to do with our family. Like I give a rat's ass about the troll's new spawn? I get up and leave the table when it starts now.

We have a vacation coming up... Maybe exactly what the Dr ordered.

DH has visions of that ridiculous 'holding hands singing Kumbaya around the fire' in his head. Never gonna happen- but a few weeks ago, everyone was together and the longing in his face was almost painful for me to see.

dup

I'm in a check out phase

I'm in a check out phase right now.
SO and I got into a huge fight a couple weeks ago and I haven't been the same since. I just don't care anymore. He's away for work during the week and it doesn't even bother me anymore. I don't get excited for him to come home on Friday like I used to. I don't run to the door and jump on him when we gets home. I don't revolve my weekend around him. I could care less anymore. Honestly i'm just waiting for the day when one of us has had enough and leaves. Nothing ever gets talked about and nothing ever gets resolved so its bound to happen sooner or later. Its just a matter of who makes the first move. It would probably have to be him. It's my house and I'm too much of a wuss to kick him out, so he would have to tell me hes leaving.

this sounds so familiar..it

this sounds so familiar..it is nearly impossible to thrive in such continually strained home life.. waiting of r other shoe to drop-check checked out-yup
like endurance athletes pacing one self... what do we win in the end? Im fed up and drained. Finally stopped what I could of the constant $$ drain ..other than the household expenses..Im totally disengaged and last xmas I began last year ceasing my willing participation. It a step in the right direction most certainly.

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