His son has Special Needs and BM Dropped Him in SO Lap
My FSS has a disorder called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. My FH went back to his hometown for a temporary job to make us a little more money. His plan was to return in March until BM dropped off his son and was never to be returned. THe decision was that he return in June and bring FSS with him.
His son's Disorder is very random. He can go into fits of rage. So much so that he has to be hospitalized. At this point, he is trying to get him into a Residential Treatment Facility and then return back here. His son would be able to come on breaks and weekends.
Since FH has gotten Joint Custody, BM has miraculaously reappeared.
His rage has been so destructive, he has been indefinitely expelled from a school for troubled youth and will be admitted to this facility in the next few weeks.
Right now he is very clingy with his father at 13 he is overbeard with it and yes..... I'm a envious!!
I feel like he has put me last now that his son is in his life on a daily basis. It hurts. I told him that I would be willing for him to come down here with his disorder, but FH says I don't know what I am asking for as this child was in a fit of rage such that he accosted a cop and had to be restrained in an ambulance during one of his fits. He says he wants to protect me.
Here is a caveat though he has spoiled his son because he doesn't want to trigger the disorder this child is rude and obnoxious and yes, his disease is real.
How can I be supportive. I feel such resentment and our lives were much better when he was only seeing him part-time.
This is the love of my life and I don't know what to do.
When I hear his son's voice I often want to cringe.
I just want a part of our relationship back. Is it doable? Am I normal to feel these ways?
Have you ever witnessed and
Have you ever witnessed and episode, ever had a child half your size send fear of your own death deep into your heart? That child grows bigger, episodes get worse, I've had to deal with a lot of crazy scary client behaviors but nothing as frightening as heartbreaking as my neighbors kid with IED, and ODD, it was so bad before they found him placement his mom who really was a brave soul cried once in the arms of her own dad wishing her own child would die because what kind of life will he have, what did she do to deserve it. I don't know how many times one of more neighbors had to help hold the kid down till the cops and ambulance came. He was 10 he terrified me, no one in my life has ever scared me more. Think this over, I think your making a huge mistake.
The others are right. Your
The others are right. Your fiance is dealing with a difficult situation, and making some difficult decisions regarding his child. Instead of turning a blind eye to his son's issues, he is handling them and working on getting him the help he needs, while protecting you. It's not as though he is just blithely going along, ignoring things. He's getting the child the help he so badly needs.
Think about it - would you really be able to love a man who would turn his back on his child needing help?
Support him now, and trust that he is doing what he needs to do to help his son and keep you safe.