DH treats his kids like royalty and mine like crap
School he's with us more than he's with her. Both skids always have expensive clothes,iPads, laptops, latest phones etc. Ss is really picky with his food, eats crap and is really , he walks and talks like a baby and still likes to sit on his dads knee, sd 12 does the puppy dog eyes and baby voice, she's picky too and is always talking about sexually inappropriate stuff which she thinks us hilarious. Now whilst DH has no issues telling at my kids, his never get told off, if I criticise their behaviour it causes a row. He tells me off in front of his and is always going on about how much better behave they were than mine I have become so resentful I dread their visits,a always have a blazing row which ends up in him telling me to pack my bags....we never normally fall out!
This weekend I decided to disengage. I arranged to stay asst a friends but DH promised he would change. Bm and kids had flown over the day before and were staying with family , we
had gone shopping before picking them up,I had gone in a clothes shop, Ss rang to say pick him up,I was shouted at for taking too long in the shop. Then when we got in I poured a drink for sd but there was some soap bubbles on the glass and he told me I could give her cancer...it was unbelievable...huge row, I ended up getting wasted and ended up self harming....the stress is to much to bear.my DH is usually wonderful but he just becomes horrid when his kids are around...I don't know what to do...I've got to the point I hate them!
Sorry, I missed the beginning
Sorry, I missed the beginning off this . My , DH has 2 kids, ss14 and sd12, Ss is at boarding school we have him every 4 weeks,bm lives abroad with sd a she is an army w ife.yet again their visit has caused a huge row as DH puts kids first,bm says jump and he says how high.
No man is "wonderful" who
No man is "wonderful" who tells you to "pack your bags" on a regular basis. Just accept that he's an ass.
Why are you staying with a
Why are you staying with a man who treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe? No man is worth that type of treatment.
No man is worth self harming
No man is worth self harming yourself over. You should pack your bags and find a man who appreciates you.
Don't get me wrong my 2 girls
Don't get me wrong my 2 girls are at that horrid teenage stage where they have attitude and my eldest has Aspergers so she has terrible tantrums and they often deserve getting told of! What pisses me off is that there's one rule for his blah blah! When his kids aren't here he does everything for me, I do all the cooking but he does all the housework, we both work full time, we get along and NEVER row.....until the step kids c :jawdrop: ome and it's like I'm wearing the cloak of invisibility , we are now asst the stage where I feel sick when I know they're coming and am so anxious out makes things worse, he is anxious because I am anxious and it is a circle of bloody doom! They have gone now and he is back to being kind and attentive, he is sorry and I am I'm in bed!
You self harm because you
You self harm because you feel powerless! Your questions must be why do you feel so powerless in this relationship? Is he the main breadwinner? It is his home? Do you have equal status?
It sounds like the answer to those questions is no. Your answer must then be to attain equal status. However you do that is up to you. Career, money, respect - they all matter.
When you hold as many cards as your SO he can't exactly tell you to get out, can he? Maybe you tell him to hit the road.
I've made it a point to be independent. It's served me well. I hope you do the same as it is like looking at the world from the top, instead of the bottom.
Thanks Great Mon.....I have
Thanks Great Mon.....I have self harmed since I was a teenager and you are right, I do it when I feel out of control! Please excuse spelling, I haven awful phone l
.both me and DH have good jobs, I sold my house when we got married and moved into DH.s house, I never got my name on the mortgage. E have both been under a ton if stress, my daughter was only diagnosed with Aspergers late last year, she's very high functioning so it took years for doctors to take notice of me. It runs in her fathers family, she has terrible tantrums and has been violent with DH and myself, it us hard to manage because as she's bright you do forget she has Aspergers until you're in meltdown territory....as the girls were away this weekend I was so looking forward to some"us" time. I just feel bm wields a little too much power in my marriage...she's very close to mil too, they phone each other up. My sil is on my side, she notices that sd is foul mouthed and Ss is a brat but because DH only sees Ss once a month he excuses everything.the bit us at boarding school so when he sees his mum he gets spoilt, he isn't disciplined here so nobody parents him! I feel powerless,I get increasingly anxious with every visit and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy!