A REAL dad is a mentor, advocate, confidante and disciplinarian. A REAL dad goes to work every day in order to provide a nice home, safe transportation, good food, health insurance, coaches the kid's sports teams, teaches them to tie their shoes, use the toilet, read, write, ride their bike and loves the kid and their mother very much.
A REAL dad has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with character, integrity and setting an example of what a viable adult and true man is.
My DH is more of a father to my DD15 than her real dad is and we only get to see her a few months out of the year. She lives full time with her dad and he can't be bothered to show her any attention, give her any affection, do anything fun with her or even buy her necessities.
As far as my dad goes, he's an alcoholic but has always been there for me when I need him. He's always supported me, told me to never settle for anything and to believe in myself. He made me feel like I could do anything and get through anything, especially when I was so far gone being abused by my ex.
Thanks for your comments, but some of those things can be done by an uncle or a grandparent too, like teaching a kid to ride a bike, help with homework, give advice etc.... My uncle helped me with my homework and taught me many things, as my dad was busy working 7 days a week and didn't have time for that, but my dad disciplined me, provided a roof over my head, taught me right from wrong and set me a good example.
These were mostly the points that came up when I had the discussion with my friends:
1) A dad disciplines his child
2) financially supports his child
3) Has a say in the major decisions that affect their life
4) Guides and teaches
I guess anyone who has the determination and motivation to do so can "parent" and raise a child.
Giving birth or impregnating a woman do not make you MORE qualified to do anything related to child-rearing than a person who hasn't .. it just means you've experience the physical act of reproduction. There are tons of people who CAN'T do that .. and they're just as well-equipped to raise a child as anyone else.
I wonder if these same comments apply to moms .. it's not often you here about a stepmom being referred to as a "real mom" because she's there in the trenches everyday with the skids when the biomom is absent.
A LOT of times on this site, when you hear about a stepmom doing all the things a mother would normally do, even when the biomom is out of the picture, she's "overstepping".
Definately I agree. REAL parenting has nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with action. I am far more of a REAL dad than my son's (SS-20) SpermIdiot.
Sperm alone doesn't. My DH is a parental failure in my mind. A dad is actively involved in a child's life. A dad is nurturing all aspects of the child:physical, spiritual, emotional, educational, and whatever else I left out. A dad sacrifices his own selfish desires for his child. A dad is present-physically and emotionally.
Hello OD. I hope all is well
Hello OD. I hope all is well for you.
A REAL dad is a mentor,
A REAL dad is a mentor, advocate, confidante and disciplinarian. A REAL dad goes to work every day in order to provide a nice home, safe transportation, good food, health insurance, coaches the kid's sports teams, teaches them to tie their shoes, use the toilet, read, write, ride their bike and loves the kid and their mother very much.
A REAL dad has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with character, integrity and setting an example of what a viable adult and true man is.
IMHO of course.
Sincerely,
A real dad is there to guide
A real dad is there to guide and teach as others have said. But he can still be a dad if circumstances require him to be apart.
I'd like to see some of you to tell the fathers serving overseas in the military that they are not "real dads" because they are not there every night.
My DH is more of a father to
My DH is more of a father to my DD15 than her real dad is and we only get to see her a few months out of the year. She lives full time with her dad and he can't be bothered to show her any attention, give her any affection, do anything fun with her or even buy her necessities.
As far as my dad goes, he's an alcoholic but has always been there for me when I need him. He's always supported me, told me to never settle for anything and to believe in myself. He made me feel like I could do anything and get through anything, especially when I was so far gone being abused by my ex.
That, to me, is a real dad.
Thanks for your comments, but
Thanks for your comments, but some of those things can be done by an uncle or a grandparent too, like teaching a kid to ride a bike, help with homework, give advice etc.... My uncle helped me with my homework and taught me many things, as my dad was busy working 7 days a week and didn't have time for that, but my dad disciplined me, provided a roof over my head, taught me right from wrong and set me a good example.
These were mostly the points that came up when I had the discussion with my friends:
1) A dad disciplines his child
2) financially supports his child
3) Has a say in the major decisions that affect their life
4) Guides and teaches
I guess anyone who has the
I guess anyone who has the determination and motivation to do so can "parent" and raise a child.
Giving birth or impregnating a woman do not make you MORE qualified to do anything related to child-rearing than a person who hasn't .. it just means you've experience the physical act of reproduction. There are tons of people who CAN'T do that .. and they're just as well-equipped to raise a child as anyone else.
I wonder if these same
I wonder if these same comments apply to moms .. it's not often you here about a stepmom being referred to as a "real mom" because she's there in the trenches everyday with the skids when the biomom is absent.
A LOT of times on this site, when you hear about a stepmom doing all the things a mother would normally do, even when the biomom is out of the picture, she's "overstepping".
I absolutely agree with you
I absolutely agree with you
Definately I agree. REAL
Definately I agree. REAL parenting has nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with action. I am far more of a REAL dad than my son's (SS-20) SpermIdiot.
Sperm alone doesn't. My DH is
Sperm alone doesn't. My DH is a parental failure in my mind. A dad is actively involved in a child's life. A dad is nurturing all aspects of the child:physical, spiritual, emotional, educational, and whatever else I left out. A dad sacrifices his own selfish desires for his child. A dad is present-physically and emotionally.