Timeshare and Trips
BM is soooo stinking jealous it is really getting crazy. DH and I have gone on a bunch of trips to Ireland, the Caribbean, Palm Springs, Yosemite - I like to travel and I am great at getting deals. I can't even tell you how many times I have heard about the trips from BM through court paperwork, the kids, or her screaming at DH (when they communicated - not anymore).
So we have a camping trip planned for this weekend, a backpacking trip this summer and are going to Cancun over Christmas. We generally plan our trips when I can get the most time off work or we are invited by friends. This weekend our trip is with a family that I get along with well. SS13 overheard us talking about it and wanted to go. DH checks with BM and is immediately bitched at for planning things on HER time and telling SS13 about it before talking to her. So apparently, we aren't allowed to make any family trips without clearing it with BM first. DH told her that he was going regardless with friends, and if SS13 wanted to go and she would let him, great. Of course she has to have something in exchange, it can't just be nice for SS13 to get a camping trip and more time with dad (after she read him the riot act that SS13 needs more time with him) - oh no, DH needs to provide her share of transportation for visitation a couple weekends in exchange.
Our trip to Cancun over Christmas is sure to start a shit storm. I was talking to DH about the number of miles we have for the flights and SS13 heard that we are going. BM has him every Christmas, but we have him every New Years, and every other Thanksgiving. It needs to be Christmas week since I get Xmas Eve and Xmas Day as paid holidays so I'll have enough vacation time to make up the rest of the week. Last year, BM went ahead and kept him all three holidays without talking to DH - just had SS13 tell him he was staying with BM. But I promise she'll be screaming that we booked our trip for the holiday and she doesn't like it because SS13 will want to go. Nothing like thinking whats best for the kid, right?
I guess your right - we just
I guess your right - we just talk and he hears it. We aren't hiding it from him. I really don't mind if he comes on any of the trips this year. It just drives me nuts that BM is constantly trying to have us "check" in with her on every flipping decision we make. If we plan things and don't invite SS13, she has a fit. If we plan things and do invite him (unless we ONLY travel during the limited time he is here), she has a fit. Its ridiculous. Most of the time she bitches and moans that DH doesn't have SS13 enough and that she needs a break, until she wants to exert control. I don't care what happens - I AM going for the Christmas trip. I won't use extra vacation time so that BM can have SS13 sit in her filthy house for the 13th year in a row and twiddle his thumbs on Christmas - that will be what she demands. I promise. That we reschedule our holiday trip to accomodate her and SS13.
DH and I are retired and have
DH and I are retired and have traveled a lot the past couple of years.
SS is coming for a short trip this weekend. DH said "Good SS will feel like he is finally included in something."
He's in his late twenties - he does not have a right to be "included" in anything we do.
I said the same thing to DH,
I said the same thing to DH, but she won't let SS13 come with us unless she gets something out of the deal and frankly DH and I both feel bad that she is like this. I told him to just forget it. We'll provide transportation for a couple weeks and SS13 can have a real family camping trip.
Its just irritating that everything is ALL about her - never happy that SS13 gets to do something fun. Just pissy and wanting to know how SHE benefits or how SHE can control the situation.