Protection order place on me, not allowed to be in my own home around step kids.
I have been fasley accused of stalking my husband's ex wife. She got a judge to sign off on a protection order forbidding me to be around her, her boyfriend and her kids (my step kids) She recently found out that I was pregnant, and the kids said she got mad about it. My husband has been to court 3 times fighting for his rights to get visitation when he is suppose to per guidelines. She lets him have the kids when it is convenient for her. She calls my husband a piece of shit father all of the time, and yes I have defended my husband and text her my thoughts and told her boyfriend to get control of his girlfriend. I have never threated her or my step kids. I havent' even raised my voice to those kids. Both kids love me to death. Just last thursday at my step daughters softball practice both kids wanted to go home with us, so when it was time for us to leave both kids kept giving me hugs and kisses. I just happened to look up at their mother and she had a look of disgust on her face. She is constantley telling my husband not to get the kids involved, but has put this order against me? So I'm supposed to leave my house when the kids come over? I'm two months pregnant and it's winter, where am I going to go the garage? I have never been in trouble for anything in my life, my husband's ex on the other hand has numerous things on her record including vandalizing cars, urinating is someone's cup and letting them drink it while at work (she worked in a hospital). I'm affraid that she is going to cause me to loss my unborn child, and loss my relationship with my step kids. Any advice is welcome. Oh and I have a lawyers appointment tomorrow and my first sonogram.
My house, my name only on the
My house, my name only on the title. She is saying that I vandalized her car, threatened her in text messages, and had a gun at my home telling her to come back to my property. She tresspassed while were were not home, I grabbed a BB gun and did a walk around of the property because she has a criminal record for vandalizing property. I told her to come back since we were home and I was going to have her arrested for tresspassing. We got married June 8th this year and she sent the cops to out house during our wedding rehersal to check on the kids. She text my husband at 5:04pm on the day of our wedding, wedding was at 5pm. Sent over 60 text messages and called 10 times in 5 days. I am not leaving my home, and we are not paying for a hotel.
You are WAY out of control,
:jawdrop:
You are WAY out of control, and she rightfully got the PO.
(You don't automatically get a temp order...I know this for fact. It has to be granted for good reason.)
You need to step WAAAAY back. Stop any and all interaction with her. You have made your life and your DH's life (AND his relationship with his kids) a nightmare. I can't believe you did this stuff! Holy shit!
Wow you must be friends with
Wow you must be friends with her. Looks like she is the one stalking me
Not at all. I have no idea
Not at all. I have no idea who you are. But, girl, you have GOT to reign in this behavior.
Telling BM off?
Telling her BF to "control her?"
Carrying a gun (BB or not) and telling her to come over?
On and on.
There are mature, adult ways to handle an out of control BM. If she trespasses, you can get security cameras, you can file a "no trespass" against her (meaning if she's ever on your property, she gets charged with trespass), and a host of other things.
Telling her to come over to get arrested (which wouldn't happen anyway) with a damn gun in hand is just not the way to go.
You need to evaluate your own behavior and choices, especially in light of the fact that you will soon be a mother yourself.
You cannot get a temp PO for
You cannot get a temp PO for anything and have it all sorted out later at a hearing. This I know for a fact.
I have been involved in 3 separate petitions for a PO, and all 3 were denied for lack of evidence. This includes the PO I filed against BM when she picked up my biokids from elementary school with neither my permission nor my knowledge.
It seems odd that the OP would have deleted my previous comment stating this. :?
That is exactly how it is
That is exactly how it is here. Fill out the form, sign the request, GRANTED, no questions asked.
That is how it is here. The
That is how it is here. The orginal "emergency" petition is ALWAYS granted no matter what, then, you get a chance to plead your case at the hearing, and most always, the petitioner gets made to look like an ass, gets scolded by the Judge, and it is dismissed, but not before it has already embarrassed the people and caused them a lot of trouble and money.
Apparently POs are handled
Apparently POs are handled differently by each state or judge by judge. In my state, when someone requests a PO against another the temp PO is in FACT granted until the court hearing, which is usually held within a few weeks of the request. At which time both parties can present their case and the judge makes a decision to grant or deny the PO.
Holy crap! She picked up YOUR
Holy crap! She picked up YOUR kids? I would go ballistic if BM did that. What was her reasoning? Why did the school let pick them up? Sorry its probably something that happened awhile ago....I just don't understand some people...
You can where I live. I used
You can where I live. I used to work in a court-related profession and witnessed it happen ALL the time. It is one of the most commonly abused tactics here, especially during custody disputes. Judges frequently sign off on them without even reading the papers. They sign them, then set a court date, just to dismiss because once the court date took place, the person that filed, usually did not even bother to show for fear of being exposed a liar, or it was so bogus, there was no way to uphold it. I had an attorney friend of mine tell me that Judges today, here anyway, are more worried about personal liability, and go ahead and always sign off on the original petition, just in case, to be on the safe side, that way they can cover their rears, then they don't uphold them once it reaches hearing, unless it is legit, and it usually is not, about 70% of the time in fact. It is temporary until the hearing date, then the Judge decides whether or not to make it permanent or dismiss. People here know this and file for a PO at the drop of a hat, just to cause the person they filed on trouble, even if it is only for a week or two, depending on how backed up the court is. The person filed on, no matter how innocent, gets their name in the paper, gets served with papers, sometimes cannot work until it is resolved, it is a mess, but yes, it does happen very very often, at least here.
Do not have any contact, it
Do not have any contact, it should be a temporary order go to the court date (should be on the order) get a lawyer, document everything, every threat she's made, everything she has said or done, if she contacts you, shows up at YOUR house call the cops the order works both ways if she breaks it by bringing the kids to your property or her coming near where you already are, or contacting you she can be arrested and charged with violating the order.
You do not have to leave when the kids come she can't even bring them (the order should have your address on it right) he would have to leave to meet them elsewhere. If she can't present proof (she have a police report of the vandalism or texts saved in a format a court will accept?), have your lawyer tear her apart, then sue her ass for libel, and slander and ask the judge to order a protection order on just her and her bf, then never ever ever have contact with her.
Are the kids names actually on the order?
Your lawyer can handle this most people fight them without one, but having a custody dispute in the middle of this a lawyer will benefit you and your DH. (make sure his lawyer for the custody stuff gets all copies of all of this as well)
Did not edit my post. Both
Did not edit my post. Both kids have shot this BB gun multiple times. Yes the kids names are on this order. They are court ordered to meet at the police station for pick up and drop off because of previous allegations.
There is two sides to every
There is two sides to every story isn't there?
As previously advised you need to stop communicating with this woman. Block her phone number on your phone (contact your provider for help if needed), block her email, block her on your Facebook and other social pages. Do not call, text, email or visit her social pages.
If she writes a letter do not open it and mark it "Return to sender". Tell your husband you do not want to hear anything she has to say about you.
Only when you are out of the loop can you claim to be guilt free.
So, why is Brazilowens guilty
So, why is Brazilowens guilty for? Defending her husband from his ex-wife? And how is she abusive to the ex-wife and her kids?
She deleted a bunch of
She deleted a bunch of info... Now the whole thing makes no sense.
That makes sense.I could not
That makes sense.I could not find the part with the BB gun. That is why I asked.
Do NOT communicate with this
Do NOT communicate with this woman whatsoever. You also should not be forced out of your own home. She simply cannot bring the kids there or she would be breaching her own order. Your BF will have to meet his kids someplace else which means you may need to deal with the fact that he will be spending more time away until this mess is straightened out.
Do not reply to any phone calls, texts, emails, etc. If you receive mail, refuse it. Even if it comes across claiming it is an emergency to do with the children, do not by into it. They are not yours and she should not be communicating with you period.
You need to do everything in your power to stay clear of this mess until this gets resolved.
It's easy to lose control
It's easy to lose control when you are dealing with a crazy BM. My DH's BM used to send me messages threatening to kill me, beat me so bad DH won't recognize me, hurt my dog, burn my house down, I mean it goes on and on. I responded every time. I fell for it. Finally I just brought myself to stop responding to her and guess what, it stopped. It wasn't working anymore so she had to stop.
If the house is in YOUR name, I don't see how you could be made to leave when skids are there. Your DH will have to take them somewhere else when he has his time with them. I'll be damned if I leave my own home because skids are coming & their mom is a nutjob.
This is pretty simple to deal
This is pretty simple to deal with. Log, record, save every communication you or your DH has with BM. Keep a log of all calls, topics, behaviors, etc... including any stories that the Skids tell about BM when they are visiting you.
Next, RESPOND TO NOTHING from her.
Next, file a PO against her and her children requiring HER to keep the kids away from you and your home. Inform your DH that he will have to see his BM spawned children away from the home until you can both nail BMs ass to the wall and get HER PO revoked.
No exceptions to the RESPOND TO NOTHING rule. No raised voices (from you) no texts, no FB posts, no E-mails. But remember, save, record and log everything from her.
Eventually you will own her toxic ass but it will take time.
Hang in there.
Wow...Having been through
Wow...Having been through something somewhat similar here is what I have to say. You need to tell your husband that it is YOUR home as much as it is HIS home - your home together, but that he can't expect you to leave for the kids to visit. I did. I sat alone in starbucks a lot and shopped with money I didn't have. A LOT of resentment came from that, and I wish everyday I had stood up for myself more. DH needs to explain what their mother has some in an age appropriate way and then depending on their age, they need to address this issue with their mother. I know a lot of people say leave the kids out of it, but I think once they hit a certain age and they just sit back and watch evil happen and don't try to stop it, well then they're sort of guilty too. That's where I am with my Skids.