Is SD thoughtless ... or am I too sensitive?
SD22 has some serious health issues. A few weeks ago, she learned she may have some problems with her heart. Had to wear a monitor, and initial results looked like there was a problem - so doctor wanted her to see an even more experienced specialist.
Of course, SO is devastated by this news and is worried sick for the past couple of weeks -heart disease runs in his family (including HIM!) so he was really anxious. He has kept in close touch with her these past few weeks and did offer to go with her to appts, get her anything, etc. (I don't know if BM went with her or not.)
Her appt with specialist was yesterday. SO called and left her a VM in the a.m. and said he was thinking of her and let him know the outcome. No response. He texts her in the afternoon, and again, no response. By the early evening, I told him to call her again ... stop this waiting around! Even I was getting worried at this point - and I was also worried about the stress on him.
He calls her, she picks up the phone (she was sleeping!) and told him essentially, "Oh, the specialist said it was nothing to worry about."
I was relieved, and then I was livid. I can't believe she kept her father (with a heart condition himself) on pins and needles all day and doesn't bother to even send him a damn two word text like "Everything's OK"
Of course, SO doesn't think it's any big deal because he is so relieved she is OK. I probably overstepped my bounds later on in the evening, and said I was glad for the good news but she was thoughtless for not calling and telling you, making you worry all day. He said, Oh that's how kids are. I said, she's not a kid, she's an adult - and it was thoughtless.
Honestly, is it me being over sensitive? Should I have not said anything to him?
Thanks for your insightful
Thanks for your insightful comments. And am most thankful that this board is available to "vent" - it really does help and prevents stuff like this from festering. Knowing others understand and have similar problems is a comfort.
FWIW, SD22 has been living in
FWIW, SD22 has been living in her own apartment for some time now and is working full time. She does not live with BM.
While I would be willing to bet SD called BM, I really don't blame BM in this case; it's not her responsibility to call SO and give him the news.
I think since she is an adult now, SD needs to take responsibility for her own actions - or in this case, inaction. I made my thoughts known to SO this one time, and will leave it at that. No more I can (or should) say ...
It was thoughtless but isn't
It was thoughtless but isn't that what the past two generations (and the third one coming up) consider normal? It's all about me, I'm OK so whats the worry?
"Dad? Oh he's here to give me time and stuff other than that I don't have to be concerned".
They don't realize that their own children see that and will treat them the same way.
Sadly, I think you are right
Sadly, I think you are right in that regard OC. I wouldn't have even imagined treating my own father or mother that way. Just the age we're living in - The Age of Entitlement.
Yes - and I hope a few rounds
Yes - and I hope a few rounds of "Knights in White Satin" did the trick!
This happens ALL THE TIME
This happens ALL THE TIME with our BM and SKs. Court, giving birth, school problems, medical appointments and emergencies: they blow up the phone to DH then NEVER call to report back.
I find it selfish and inconsiderate. She could have easily sent a text to share her "relief" with one of the people on this planet who actually care. But no.
Honestly? If not for the fact
Honestly? If not for the fact that I was hospitalized (and that would have been difficult to conceal), I would not have told my parents that I was having health issues at all (last summer). Why? Because they fuss too much. During AND after. I don't like being fussed over - it is a pain in the rear. As it was? When I told them, and specifically asked them not to come until I was in my room, etc? They showed up while I was still in the ER. I didn't appreciate it one bit. I should have known better.
Could it be that your husband's concern, anxiety, etc., was just too much for his daughter? Had I been in her shoes? I likely would also have gone home and rested, relaxed and processed the info before calling my parents. And I am nearly 50.