In your face, BM!!!!
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BM drops off both stepsons (4 and 5) every weekend. Lately the oldest has been making a huge deal when he sees me....runs up and hugs meme, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me he loves me. Haha you should see her face! He never does that to her when we drop them back off! These are times that I'm actually glad to be a step parent and I know for sure that they appreciate the things I do for them.
I agree with this. It is
I agree with this. It is great that things are currently going well for the OP, but don't expect that to last forever. This site is littered with the broken dreams of step-parents (such as myself) who thought that they could beat the "step-parent" sterotype.
Trust me, we are having a lot
Trust me, we are having a lot of issues right now with BM anyways to the point where I have developed severe anxiety. I know as they get older I will run into more issues. But right now I feel good knowing that they know when they are with me and their father they will be well taken care of. SS5 and I used to have big problems, but after countless trips this summer to the emergency room from things that have happened to both sons as a result of BMs negligence, I think that they know (at least the oldest, SS5) that they are safe with us. I would love for my fiancée to be able to get full custody. CPS has been called on her at least 4 times in the 3 years that I have been with DF and each time the case was dropped. And I'm talking severe living conditions, 1 included the boys contracting scabies multiple times. And ever since this summer, every weekend there is something wrong with them. Constipation (result of always eating McDonald's at BMs), large oozing staff infections, etc. they get better at our house (we get them every weekend Friday-Sunday) and I hate dropping them off because I know when we get them back they will be in worse condition than when we left them.
Yep! My life story. Two
Yep! My life story. Two teenage SDs. Initially, they thought I was really "cool". I live in a swanky downtown loft. I am 10 years younger than DH and BM, so I dress different, understand their slang better, etc. They thought I was "fun". I didn't try to be... I was just being myself. WELL... as soon as they started telling BM these things, she poked holes in everything I did:
I dress nice? Ohhh... that's because "DH spends all of his money on my clothes & shoes and NOTHING on them"
I cook well? Ohhh.... that's because "I am trying to make her look bad because SHE IS BUSY RAISING 3 KIDS"
And, let's not forget her telling them regularly that DH loves me more than them. I took their place. Their dad left her for a "little kid" (PS: I am almost 30 and they were divorced for a year before we even went on our first date).
F-those kids. F-the BM. I don't even "try" to be cool to them anymore. Being cool caused BM to try ruining both mine & DHs lives. I barely talk to the kids.
Of course I do! No matter
Of course I do! No matter how much they drive me insane sometimes, I do care about them regardless. When they are with us, I know that they are SAFE! No child should have do endure the things they do....I don't care who the child is! Neglect is neglect and they need people to protect them. If you had read above, you would see the main problem in the equation is the mother.
I hate being a step mom!!!
I hate being a step mom!!! Actually, I don't even feel like a step mom at all (anymore). I hate being in love with the most perfect man that has 2 kids and the devil for an ex wife. It was good in the beginning, just like we've all said, but as soon as the BM starts getting in the kids ears...you're done. My favorite part is that BM will text DH on our nights and try to tell him what he can and can't do with the kids. Go F YOURSELF!! She tries to control everything. We can't (and now refuse) to tell the kids anything because it goes right back to her and she attempts to use it against us. And half the time, the kids don't even tell her things correctly or she perceives it however she does and then makes conclusions that are incorrect and surprise surprise treats us like shit. Makes me wanna break things...like her neck.
Thank you, your comment is
Thank you, your comment is appreciated.
See ,with all the crap we've
See ,with all the crap we've had from BM in the past I find it hard to be like that with Skids. I purposely keep my distance as I know she doesn't want another "mother" on their lives (she's admitted this herself). Of course I'm not as disengaged as she'd like ,I get on alright with them and they're always polite and treat me with respect. I think I'd be concerned that the kid would get the back end of it if they got on with me too well. I've had it when I was a kid and I hated it.
Then why even get into a
Then why even get into a relationship with someone that has children? It seems like a lot of people on here give up way too easy and instead just fume and make themselves miserable when they could instead try to be loving and make the best out of the situation. Children feed off others emotions, especially an adults. If you treat them like shit because you're annoyed they will feed off that. Yes, I can't stand their mother and her greedy antics and bullshit games. But I made a choice to be with their father. If you don't like your situation, instead of whining and complaining about how miserable your lives are, why don't you just leave?
I remember a time when the
I remember a time when the skids would run out of the car and up the house because they forgot to hug me bye. I was told I was the nicest person they met, I have fun choices in books, I cooked delicious food, and they couldn't wait for their father to marry me so they could have my sisters with the pool at their houses as their aunts too. Then one week later, I was told that BM told them the reason I "make them read" after breakfast is because I think they are stupid. I cook 'expensive' food to show them I have more money they their mother. Sorry, but homemade mac and cheese is less expensive to make then throwing three boxes of KD in a pot to feed 5 people and have leftovers for lunches the next day. Oh, and no matter what we say my sisters would never accept them as their Aunt because they are 'too disappointing' to fit into their fancy lives. Makes no sense, I know. BM's who have control issues will twist everything to their favor.
I'm glad they like you. And,
I'm glad they like you. And, I really hope that BM doesn't turn into a bitch about it. My skids have never once (in 7 years) kissed/hugged me!! I'm ok w/that though! LOL.