For those of you who know my history, my SIL is an absolute nightmare

One of the most jealously insecure people I’ve ever met

Jealous primarily of my relationship with DH (having never been married herself, no kids, barely a boyfriend in her life and not many friends, her “BLOOD” family being ALL that matters to her) she’s always had a difficult time with me, always seems to think there is some sort of competition over who comes first with DH…she really thinks being someone’s wife is to be of zero importance, only family such as one’s SISTER is what matters, and the sister should always come before the wife. Hmmmm….never got that but okay.

And then accepting anyone that she feels is competition from any other aspect in life on top of it; looks, success, popularity, she just can’t handle it…oh and add someone seven years her junior she is just generally pissed off to a major degree

She has always been mean, petty, revengeful and completely unwelcoming of me. Negative, walks around with a permanent scowl on her face, can’t even so much as answer when I say hello, plays down every success I have/blows up any failure

Ya….basically just seethingly jealous

But after my FIL died, SIL seemed to be making an effort to be a better person

Yes, it was unbelievable and well yes, guess that means it probably WAS unbelievable

I still saw how she seemed to enjoy jumping in with OSD trying to humiliate me/just generally try to make me feel uncomfortable, not worthy, an outsider, etc…but still, I thought I saw some effort to try to be better, maybe because FIL wrote in his will letter how important it was to him & MIL that DH and SIL got along, maybe because FIL wrote in his will letter how much he & MIL loved me and what a big part of their family I was, maybe because of both statements

I had a tiny bit of hope

But last weekend, I once again, got my awakening

So there was a gathering for one of late FIL’s cousin’s SO’s

A good friend of DH’s family (although hilariously SIL could never stand her either haha!)

So DH & I arrive a little early, we’re chatting with a few other people who arrived early…we’re all asked to wait at the bar until they have the room in the restaurant set up and ready for us. I excuse myself to go to the washroom and when I come back to join DH I see that SIL has arrived, and has positioned herself right next to DH
As I’m approaching them, I’m disappointed to see she has that same nasty, negative scowl on her face
She’s in one of her moods again

Before I can even make my way back to DH, people are coming up to say hello to me, hug, kiss, greet, etc….one of them hilariously squished his way right inbetween SIL and DH in an effort to give me a hug and say hello
So, since I’m greeting/hugging/kissing everyone in front of SIL including someone right beside her, I feel the mature and decent thing to do is hug her and say hello as well

But, the moment I turn to SIL to hug her hello I see she’s standing rigidly in her spot refusing to move an inch to hug – very clear message from her that there is no way I will be giving HER a hug

Whatever

So I say hello to her instead

She says hi, but in the most cold, snarky and completely unfriendly way possible

Again, whatever

DH of course, being like all our sometimes clueless DH’s, only picks up on the fact that SIL answered me and assumes she’s being “NICE” to me, and lunched right in to full sister ass-kissing. Even after I find out later on in the evening that SIL was apparently pretty rude to him too when she first arrived

Whatever

I make my rounds and chit chat with everyone I know, sip a cocktail and am having a good time despite the bad energy from SIL

Finally the hostess tells us our room is ready and as we all move to the other side of the restaurant I can see that SIL is right up there behind DH, I assume fully intending to sit either across from him or beside him - so she can then talk to DH only, completely exclude me, talk only on subjects she knows they have in common and I don’t….again, just any attempt to prove to me I’m unimportant (to both of them) and that the conversation will revolve around them all evening and completely exclude me – where she feels my place should be

Fortunately the room was so crowded and everyone was just jumping into any seat they could find, yup, chaos, that DH was starting to stress that he & I wouldn’t be able to sit together let alone the three of us

We finally find seats at the end of a very long table (two side by side and one across) and when DH goes to signal to SIL to tell her there is room for three, we see that she is sitting at the other end of the table

I’m all happy thinking life couldn’t be better but DH is unhappy and thinks he somehow owes it to his sister to insure he’s looked after finding a seat for her too. He’s tries to get her attention to say she can come down and join us but gets frustrated because it’s too loud in the room and asks me to try because you know I was one whole seat closer to her end

Anyway, finally it quiets down enough in the room that SIL can hear both of us signalling/calling to her to join us
She hesitates, then says in a pretty rude tone “no, I think I’ll stay here”

After an uncomfortable silence she adds that she’ll be running to the bathroom all night (which was bogus because the bathroom was actually much closer to our end) and life just happily continues LOL

SIL thinks she’s won by rudely sticking it to DH, DH thinks he’s won by showing how much he was looking after (aka kissing up to his ever judgemental disapproving sister) and of course I think I’ve won because my point is proven again (even just to myself haha) that the more DH kisses his sister’s ass when she’s rude and nasty, the nastier and ruder she will continue to be

But, she wasn’t done yet

After sitting in her seat all night glaring down the table at DH & I, and we were having a great time BTW, she finally got up to leave following the speeches/dessert. She made her rounds hugging/kissing/saying goodnight to everyone she wanted to, and then she left without so much as a glance in our direction

I saw this happen but said nothing

Only when we ourselves were ready to leave did DH notice and say to me that he guessed his sister had left. I said yes I guess she did

DH says, “well that was pretty rude of her”

I say, “yes I think so too”

I could write a book on what I think DH’s response to her ‘should’ have been, but I guess the reason for this long rambling post is more about wow – what a miserable, ugly (I’m talking on the inside here) nasty human being my SIL is!