So, some may recognize my story from earlier on the board. My SD, now 16, had an emotional incest/Electra thing going with DH. She battered by daughter, had drugs in the house, threatened my life and the life of my baby, partied around doing anal sex, and so much more. I finally had enough and told DH she had to go since she was a danger and refused to change and get help. She has been with her mom since January, and has had little to no contact with DH in that time, her choice, because he won't divorce me and be only with her. Fine by me, she is toxic and in my view needs a mental health hospital, after threatening to kill an infant and so on.

Her mom is a drunk. DFS has been involved for many months, and finally last week mom had ANOTHER DUI, hit a car and ran, hit a tree twelve times, hit a garage, totalled her car, barricaded herself into the family home, so on. SD was taken into state custody and placed temporarily with her 21 year old sister, boyfriend and baby. I saw on DH text message that 21 said "dontbefigured is not family. She should not be at the hearing. You need to be a dad and just be there for us." I was seething - 21 love to have me babysit her baby (10 mos) for free whenever she can, despite me having a 3 month old myself and a busy job an dfour other kids. She is happy for us to go together to take her to nice dinners, movies, etc. But now I am "not family" and should be excluded from things. No shock - this is SD 16 attitude also.

I decided not to go to the family dinner that night, involving the whole fam. I'm not family, and I am hated as is my child, by DH's other two daughters. Toxic. Don't need it. Besides those, I also had plans, known by all, to meet a friend that evening, and DH and I had already informed all that we would only be there for half an hour or so. DH refuses to attend without me, so the family function is missed. 21 calls me that afternoon, to "clear the air" but I don't pick up - I was on an important call and frankly feel no desire to talk to her yet. The next day, she sends DH a nasty text about how I am rude for not taking her call and how I am insecure for keeping him from the family meal. Whatevs, I told him to go, he refused, and he stirred the pot with her, misspeaking by telling her I think she hates me. I don't know or care how she feels about me - I want loose of the drama at this point, from all of them. So, no dinner and DH didn't go either, his choice.

I ask DH to clarify his mistaken comments about me thinking I am hated. He does so via text. Tells the girls they must respect me, that he and I are a team and will go together to things or not at all. No word back. Fine. I know they are mad, and there is this who DFS thing coming up to make someone else the bad guy in deciding what to do about SD.

Today we went to see his family, in town for the weekend and whom we didn't see the other night because I really didn't want to cope with the hateful SDs and the tension in the room. Surprise - attack from Bro in law and Sis in law. DH had let them know that DFS may be calling them for placement of SD, since she cannot live with us. They have heard over and over about the issues SD has, and the reasons she can't live here. Today they attack DH as a bad dad, as having given up on SD, as being the cause of her issues etc. They turn hatred on me because I hotlined the situation with the drunk mom so much - I did this because despite all taht has happened with SD, she is a child and she needs help. I am also a mandated reporter, so I have no choice. I explained this and almost got hit - they said they are a a good family and SD is a good kid and I shouldn't do the legal thing, but should just love her more. I tried explaining that as a mandated reporter I have no choice but to hotline abuse and neglect but all they can see is we won't let Sd live here. Fine. We talk about court and I explain the system to them; they behave horribly when I tell them that a court order will determine the contact of DH and BM with the child. "Oh we don't have to follow that, we can let DH come to dinner and jus thave alone time with SD, no matter what the court says." they say. Essentially they plan to break the court order if they want to, and also plan to try to have "family dinners" with DH and Sd but excluding me and our son, so that SD will be happy.

To his credit, DH says outright, he won't have SD in the home because of her own behaviors. He also defends that we must follow the court orders, when they come down. The BIL and SIL are upset with him about this, and point at me as the villain. We leave.

21 calls and wants child support for SD 16. Dh gets off the phone, and he basically says we will go into debt to pay for her entire keep as well as buy her a car. I protest - half of his income goes to alimony for BM already and he pays nothing on our bills together. He wants to go way way beyond what the court figures for child support (500 or so monthly) and pay 1000 monthly plus a car. I am livid, and seething, and silent right now. He doesn't pay a dime on the mortgage, the utilities, or the nanny for our child. He pays one half of groceries and the cell phone bill. That's it....And he wants to further deplete what he pays or put US in debt (he specifically said WE will have to go in debt to giv eher a car). This is a bitter bitter pill this week especially - my kids in college just found out his income must be used for their financial aid and they will no longer GET financial aid. It is doubtful they can finish college because of this.

I am so mad. So mad. His goddamn chewing is annoying me now.