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Need advice with boyfriends children!

country444's picture

Ok, Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months.
I didn't meet his kids "ages 6 and 8" until our 2nd or 3rd month together.
When I first met his kids we got along fine, But after there Mother "my boyfriends ex wife" found out that my boyfriend broke up with his ex "of 2 years and completely took over the kids while they were together" she got upset and both his ex wife and my boyfriends recent ex have started drama off and on..

Until recently when the kids went back to School they have both been miss-behaving left and right.
My boyfriend works till around 5:30-6:00ish so I watch the kids from 3:40 till he gets home, And when they miss-behave I text him and ask what he wants me to do, Since they are his kids and not mine.
For awhile there it was working out great, Then all the sudden they start acting worse..They have been telling me that I don't know anything since I lived out in the country, and asked me if I know what a Subway is. They have been pretty much saying I am lazy when I am on the computer, saying there Daddy works all day and it's so hot out..But I clean, do dishes, laundry, sweep, vacuum, I do everything.
And last night his oldest told there Mother that I am mean to them, And I "change" when there Daddy gets home.

I just don't know what to do, It's making it so hard to get close to them...It's hard because I am stressing out about it and it's getting me depressed...

I can't have that motherly relationship with them because they are not mine..I can't have that relationship because I do not feel that way towards them..Unless me and my boyfriend get engaged "hopefully next year"

I NEED ADVICE!! GOOD ADVICE!!

country444's picture

He knows how his kids treat me, And he takes control of the situation.
I am going to talk to him about the kids going to his Dads house though. He knows how I feel about everything I have said above, And I have explained to him my feelings.
I don't feel that he takes advantage of me, Because of how he is when he gets home. He gets on his kids about how they act. But I feel that they think I am full of sh*t when I tell them what he says in the texts that I send him.
I really love this guy, and he loves me.
The kids have also dealt with past relationships not working out for him either and they have been through a lot. But I do respect and thank you very much for your opinion and I do very much agree with not watching them anymore.

tweetybird74's picture

You been together for 6 months and are already living together? The kids have their mommy, had another step mom and now you and they are only 6 & 8. I would think given the past there are going to be many tough times ahead with these kids. And they will likely have attachment issues due to the many mommies they have had in their short lives. Back off the mommy duties and get and afterschool program for the kids.

country444's picture

Thank you so much, And yes I very very much agree! I know it's going to be hard times and I am ready for all of that.
And I just got done talking to him and he is getting ahold of his Dad right now to find out if they can start watching the kids from now on. Smiling
It was just so hard on me, Because I didn't know if I was doing something wrong or what

country444's picture

I am, I am 100% going to take her advice!
The only reason I started watching the kids was because the person who used to watch them got very sick. And then a few weeks passed and it kinda slipped our mind..But yes I am going to talk to him and it's not going to take no 2 weeks haha The kids will be going back to his Dads after school ASAP and if I talk to him tonight they will most likely go tomorrow.

He has asked me over and over if I mind watching his kids, And I have always said that I don't mind untill recently.
And he has told me he dosen't want me to ever feel like I am his free baby sitter.

country444's picture

Thank you so much, And yes I very very much agree! I know it's going to be hard times and I am ready for all of that.
And I just got done talking to him and he is getting ahold of his Dad right now to find out if they can start watching the kids from now on. Smile
It was just so hard on me, Because I didn't know if I was doing something wrong or what

hippiegirl's picture

Getting engaged and married will not change how the kids treat you or how you feel about them.