Yeah, had a similar situation too. Finally DH grew a pair and starting confronting her. She tried and tried to bully him as she'd done throughout their entire marriage but he stood his ground. She backed down slightly and doesn't seem to be all up in our business like she used to be, but still, she thinks her sh*t doesn't stink!

That's why SD(then only 13!!) has already had sex in BM's HOME using condoms she found in BM's ROOM! Sure, parent of the year there!

It's a crock of shit. Really. DH used to say the same BS about BM, his pathetic sister and his mother...after more than 10 years he finally SAW that if you do that with people, they just keep harassing you...You have to stand up and tell them to f#%ck off and THEN and ONLY then, do they start to respect you and leave you alone.

It is people with no boundaries that do such things. I can assure you that if they don't step up and put her in her place, she will continue.

There are two things going on. First the BF stands to lose contact with his kids. Literally not see them. His only resort is to go to court and go through the lengthy process of finding the BM in criminal or civil violation of ordered visitation. It can be done and I've done it myself but most people will need to hire a lawyer. Got the money to lend? I thought not.

Second regardless of the outcome she will alienate the kids during the fight telling them every horrible thing the BF is doing to make her life miserable.

Try picking up a feral kitten from the nest of its feral mother. This will give you some idea of what these women can do when they feel they have been wronged. Ten grand to hire the lawyer - petty change if it'll cause the ex-husband pain. The hate is without end and without logic. Pure unharnessed emotion. I literally mean it when I say its a good thing murder is illegal or there would be a lot less exes around.

I fought my ex down to where she faced jail for failure to release the kids on visitation. That's what it took to back her off. Then I didn't see one boy from age 14 to about age 30 which included his wife and two children. He finally figured out who was really to blame and one day sent a message.

How my ex-wife failed to turn the youngest boy was beyond me until I asked him. The boy, now an adult, said he thought his brother was crazy because we were always doing stuff that was fun. Not Disneyland but trips to Nevada to find ghost towns. Weekend camping at the Pacific Ocean beach - we can camp year round in Southern California. Frankly I think I had more fun than he did.

Listen fathers live in dire fear that they will hear these words: "I don't want to visit you anymore". Reverse the rolls ladies. What will you feel if your kid at about age 9 says he doesn't want to see you again? That's what they fear.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.". (1697) by William Congreve (1670-1729) Note he was 27 years of age when he wrote that.

Let me gaze in to my crystal ball and tell you what the future holds for you. (I don't really have a crystal ball, I am speaking only from my own experience in this exact situation.)

It is ridiculous, the amount of power the BM wields, after the fact. Somehow, they believe that because they bred and produced offspring, THEY will always be in control. (I'd venture to guess that THEY were in total control during the marriage/relationship as well.)

As OCC points out, many of these men (and women) live in fear of ________ (fill in the blank.) One can not and should not be ruled in fear. I don't care what the cost may be. And yes, there will be a price to pay.... no matter how you deal with the situation. Double edged sword:

1) Put up a fight or stand up for yourself and risk losing your children. Yes, she will do everything in her power to PAS them and most of the time she will be successful. The children will see their father as the bully and the BM as the victim. And, as OCC also pointed out, you will probably pay a kings ransom via the constant court battles.
2) Go along to get along, kiss the BM's a$$, etc. That does work nicely... for a little while. Before long, the BM is making more and more demands, taking more and more control of YOUR household. Your resentment builds and your respect for your hubby fades. The kids grow up watching BM manipulate, bully, and guilt her way in to getting ANYTHING she wants. They in turn, learn exactly how to extract whatever THEY want from good old dad, using HER methods. Eventually, instead of just watching hubby kiss BM's a$$, you also have a ringside seat to watching him kiss theirs. Trust me, it will even continue in to the kids adulthood.

So, pick your poison. Having lived this kind of life for the past 9 yrs I can tell you this, you will wish with all your heart that you could plunge that sword in to every last one of them. Not an emotionally healthy place to be.

Personally, I would stand up for myself and cut that bit@h off at the kness and I would keep cutting until I couldn't cut anymore. If my 9 yr old child (I don't have kids) were to tell me that they no longer wanted to see me, I would tell them, tough $hit! You don't get to make that decision as a child. How these children even get the idea that THEY run the show is beyond me.

It all comes down to what life lessons NEED to be taught. Pick your battles, yes. Continually give in b/c it's easier, NO.... never.

Of course this is only my opinion and I am AlreadyGone.

ugghh, If he feels she's so wonderful, and should not be defied, why didn't he just stay with her since she so great? Sorry u are dealing with that!