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did u think your future skids were pretty good kids at the beginning??

gocubsgo's picture

I remember thinking my SO's 2 boys were the cutest and funniest boys ever. They were 3 and 5 when I met them. They used to crack me up and they were always soooo happy and excited about the smallest things. I enjoyed them alot.

AND THEN

The 3 year old turned 5. I could not stand him in so many ways by the time he turned 5. He was such a brat, he would lie, fake fall and fake cry, he wouldn't do what he was told to do. Not sure if this is normal for 5 yo boys, but it still got under my skin. And he still slept with his parents IN THE SAME BED. He acted like his mother and his daddy thought it was all sooo cute.

The 7 yo remained funny, smart and cute. He has a differnt mother than his brother, so maybe that has alot to do with the different personalities. He was 7 when we BU and I really miss that boy.

When did u start to, ahem, *dislike* your skids???

prozac_nation's picture

SDs were 2, 3, and 8 when I met them. They are now 4, 5, and 10. Actually just now starting to like SD10 now that I refuse to babysit them anymore. She was an evil, manipulative, lying brat up until a couple months ago. She still is, but I don't have to be alone with her. Wink I liked SD4 and SD5 in the beginning but now SD4 is still pretty much 2 years old and SD5 is turning into a total snot that's just like SD10.

Maroma1984's picture

I never really liked mine. I always thought she was ungrateful, lacking of manners, and a liar. She's still all that but not as cute and older.

I don't think I'll ever really like her , but I'm okay with that now.

ocs's picture

met her at 9- she was ok, but friendly enough. Then about 3 hours into our first excursion she asked my now DH, " Where has 'ex- girlfriend' been lately? I REALLY miss HER." The whole time staring at me. Things never really got better.

We got to a place of laughter and giggles for about 3 months. Then it 180'd, because of her BM, Snaggletooth.

Now she's a moody 12yr old... We are polite strangers to each other. Suits me fine, I just wish it didn't hurt DH.

qtpie013178's picture

About six months in, she started being disrespectful and extra possessive towards my BF. I think BM was the catalyst. She moved on but liked “ having” my BF as a backup and piggy bank.

Areyou's picture

I started disliking SD when she sent me a nasty text message. I started disliking SS when he started acting like a know it all and talking back to me. It all began once I moved in and they started getting comfortable around me.

notasm3's picture

SS was in his mid 20s when I first met him.  Here's a recap of our first meeting when he called DH and asked him to give him and his GF a ride one afternoon.

SS was in a ragged tshirt and shorts with a worn out pair of flip flops.  He was bruised and swollen from head to toe as he'd been beaten to a pulp a day or two before.  The GF was drugged out of her mind - a total skank.  We gave them a ride to the most disgusting apartment complex ever with thugs hanging out screaming at each other in the parking lot.  It was not their apartment they just sort of squatted by the night with whoever had drugs/alcohol.

I mean bottom of the barrel POS.  The kind you cross the street to avoid.  A few weeks later DH got about 50 phone calls (not exaggerating) from the GF wanting DH to bail SS out of jail for beating up an elderly man.  DH did not do it.

He now mooches off a "better" class of woman.  This one smoked weed and drank like a fish during her pregnancy, but she has a home, car and job (all compliments of her mother).  Yes SS's standard of living is light years better than it was, but he's still an alcoholic POS.

Bless my DH - he doesn't give me any flack over banning this cretin from my life and home.

Gucci's picture

I have disliked OSS for 2 out of the 4 years I’ve been in the picture. I used to think he was ok, but never IN LOVE with him. YSS is wonderful and we are very close. The BM has a lot to do with OSS not liking me, as I just got the ‘you’re not my parent’ dropped on me today. 

fairyo's picture

When I first met the Xskids I didn't feel much for them at all- I made the classic mistake of thinking they were just adults with their own lives. Haha! How stupid was I?? My OSD had just given birht to twins and I admired the way she got everyone to help her out, she also had a toddler. After  a while I realised that she was just controlling, manipulative and incredibly lazy, not to say entitled. I grew to dislike her intensely and the grip she had on everyone, except me.

With the grandskids it was different, they were lovely and seemed to enjoy my company too- until they got to be older and I could see OSD in everything they did. We took them away for a weekend and I saw my then DH for what he really was, and that was when the rot set in.

Now he has them all back to himself, I hope they are enjoying having the miserable pile of crap around.

Kes's picture

My SDs were age 5 and 7 when I first met them.  I never thought they were the slightest bit cute.  They struck me as somewhat spoiled with too much attention - and at age 21 and 23 they still are. 

icanteven's picture

As a person with a stepkid in the age range that yours were when you met them, who also does not find that stepkid the slightest bit cute, and sees that he is spoiled and given too much attention, I must ask how you have survived so many years with such people in your life. What is the secret to that?

lorlors's picture

at the start but overall fundamentally alright. Should have gone with my first instinct, they are totally weird.

icanteven's picture

My stepson was a baby when we met, and he was always with his mother anyway. I was around him a couple times, but he was a baby. How bad could it be? I guess I just came to associate him with his mother, he was her kid. I never really considered him my husband's kid, never really internalized that I would have to deal with him. 

Then my husband got visitation shortly after we moved in together. The kid was 3 and completely out of control. Then he got more visitation when the kid was 4 and completely out of control. Then he somehow convinced the stupidest judge in history that he should have 50% custody, of the totally out of control 5-year-old. I honestly did not see any of this coming because I've never been around people who spoil their children. My husband and his ex spoil their son rotten. He would have been fine if either one of them had ever set a boundary. 

stepmominhiding's picture

I did!  I thought,  aww she's sweet,  a little whiney,  but she's an only child,  she'll toughen up as she gets older. 

 

Fast forward 8 years,  she's still the same level of whiney at 13yo. She's a theif, a liar,  a manipulator,  disrespectful, not very bright, i could go on and on. 

 

The moment i realized she was really quite dim witted was when she couldn't spell her own father's name when she was 11yo. His name is a basic white boy's name (without giving away his name.  If his name was david she would have spelled it defad. Last year (7th grade)  she "learned" geography, (to give you an idea we live in texas) she thought Mexico was north of us, and Canada was to the south.  She had no idea what her address was until this year, she's 13. Due to get mothers narcissistic personality and sd taking after her,  she actually managed to get into the njhs. What's really sad is she plans on becoming an anesthesiologist..... unless she's able to narcissisticly get through high school and college,  that's just not going to happen. 

icanteven's picture

I understand this! My stepkid is an idiot and everyone tells him how brilliant he is. It makes me crazy!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

The skids were great when I first met them- we hit it off great, and later, they and my son really bonded.

AND THEN...

We got engaged, BM ramped up the then-mild PAS, and the boys started doing little things like not listening, not following house rules, etc.

AND THEN...

We moved in together, and BM amped it up, and the skids started being blatantly disrespectful. (DH, however, put the kibosh on that.)

AND THEN...

We got married and BM lost what was left of her mind. She trained those boys well to not speak while in our presence, leave the room if one of us walked in, walk away if they were told to do something. YSS, at 8, threatened to kill himself if he didn't go to live with BM full time, and actually made an attempt by slicing his wrist. One down. Then BM and OSS cooked up a fake CPS report, and that was enough for DH, along with MANY, MANY other things SS was doing. Two down. We haven't heard from wither of them in 4-5 years.

I realize it was BM's doing, and we followed all the things you're supposed to do to combat PAS, but she was just WAY too good at it, and the boys were lost causes. OSS, by the end, was plenty old enough to realize what he was doing, but even before then, the way they were acting made them super unlikable, BM-driven or no.

Missingca's picture

She was 5 when I met her. Spoiled, a liar, and entitled but I could deal with it because she had many “sweet” moments too. Lasted maybe a couple of years. When one of my sons toys broke every summer we saw her, and she started pushing him around I moved on to  tolerate. I had no issue shutting her shit down in my home. 7 years later and I wish DH would just give in to her and BM threats and not bring her out next time. She’s spoiled, entitled, imanipulative, jealous,mmature and all around shitty. She has to be told not to fight with and take toys from a 2 year old, she’s 12. She spends a lot of time in her room when I’m home, and I wish she could spend dinner in there also because I’m over spending any amount of time with her and her crappy attitude and manners. Doing everything I can to avoid letting her rub off on my kids.

i know it’s all BMs doing. She used to think I was the best then  BM got jealous (early in our relationship called him bitching thinking we were getting married, called him yelling that he shouldn’t be allowed to go out when she’s home with the kid, all sorts of drama) once she saw her mom didn’t like me I became evil stepmom, she made up lies and complained to DH about me (and my mom) often. Threw a fit when we told her we were getting married. Haven’t even remotely liked her in years....

i love DH and he’s a great man, I couldn’t leave him now. But had I known how terrible her and BM are I would’ve steered clear of him.

TrueNorth77's picture

When I first met them, SD was 6, SS was 9, and I liked them well enough. Kids in general annoy me, but I Did think they were good kids. Especially when they are around other kids and I see how bad most other people’s kids are! They are now 9 and 12, and so far so good. We still get along well and they don’t give me any grief. I hear horror stories from everyone else though ^^^^ so I’m kind of afraid of what’s to come!

I just dare one of them to tell me I’m “not their parent” though...that shit will get shut down real quick!