I would prefer at all costs to not have MSD and YSD at my house ever again. I have had issues with stealing and balant disrespect with them. It's not fun when they are here. So there is no point. DH visits YSD15 outside the home and MSD is 19 (actually today) so she is an adult.

SS21 lived with DH and lived with us when DH and I moved in together. SS and I get along. When he lived with us, I spent a lot of time with SS and enjoyed his company and being around him for the most part. Sometimes when he comes around, I actually miss him a teeny tiny bit.

SS and his GF have made hints about hanging out with DH and I more. Going on camping trips. Game nights. Dinner, etc. I actually wouldnt mind doing this at all. I have not however acted on it or made an effort to organize anything.

So I am trying to think of the pros/cons in inviting SS and his GF over for a game night, hang out, etc.

CONS:

I think that DH feels like if he invites SS and GF over that YSD and MSD should be invited as well. Even though he does plenty of things with MSD and YSD WITHOUT SS, I think he feels kind of like it's all or nothing. I only have 1 child, so I dont know what its like to have multiple.

I think he knows that SS is welcomed by me and always has been and the girl skids are not. Therefore by inviting SS and GF only over, I am just re-inforcing that I dont want the girl skids over.

The times that we have done stuff with SS and GF (usually when SS is over to get his car fixed and then we cook out afterwards) I usually find out stuff about the girl skids and BM that I dont want to know. In a away its like the less I am around SS, the less I know and the less pissed off I am. Ignorance is bliss I guess. SS doesnt purposely bring up stuff but just in conversation things get mentioned.

SS and GF (who is close to girl skids and BM) will get to see more into our lives. The less BM and girl skids know, the better.

PROS:

Just because its impossible to have a relationship with the girl skids doesnt mean that it should affect a potential relationship with SS. At the end of the day I want to have a good relationship with my husband's kids. It's not like just because they are his kids, it means I dont like them. I dont have any issues with SS. But I have basically not pursued more of a relationship with him because of the girl skids.

I know it would make DH happier to spend more time with SS.

I really dont want to open a can of worms. Things are fine now. I dont want to welcome SS more into my life and then have to deal with more girl skid drama and BM drama. It's not even worth the risk in some ways.

But I dont want to be so closed off and jaded because of the girl skids and BM.

I also want to make it clear to both DH and SS if I extend an invitation it is only to SS and his GF. Anything that I plan will be meant for adults. If I am thinking we are going to have a fun night playing board games and having some beers and the girl skids show up- it defeats the purpose. It will be the exact opposite of fun.

Thoughts?