I recently found this sight and believe it's an answer to my pleas for help. I've lurked for a few days, reading almost everything on this site. Finally, I might be able to post some of my story.

My DH & I were married 1.5 years ago and his daughters (24 & 14), along with their BM, have tried everything they can think of to ruin our marriage. The BM is literally crazy, has been institutionalized twice, has been diagnosed bi-polar but doesn't take her meds, prefers to self-medicate with Xanax, muscle relaxers, basically any prescription drug, smokes weed everyday, AND is a full-blown alcoholic. My DH lived with this BSC woman for 30 years, during which time she engaged in 12 lesbian affairs. He finally had enough and told her he wanted a divorce.

The BM talks smack about both DH & me all over town, things like he's sleeping with every woman in our county, and that I'm the skanky ho who broke up her "happy" marriage. We know this b/c people report to us that she's at it again. Doesn't truly bother us, as we figure if people believe her they weren't our friends to begin with, and people who know us...know these things are not true. But, I mention it because it is an example of the type of venom she spews 100% of the time, primarily into the brains of her two daughters. She is sick enough that she doesn't care she is sacrificing the mental well-being of her own children, in order to make my DH miserable...or to split us up.

Meanwhile, his two daughters are soldiers in their mother's Army of Hate. They have taken up her cause, and want nothing more than to punish their dad for rejecting their mother and then...horrors....marrying me, the Skanky Ho.

DH has been going to therapy with the 14-yo and trying to work through all this crap in therapy. He's taken BOTH girls to therapy and told them that they will respect everyone who is in his life, including me, and that if all they have to bring to the table is hateful, disrespectful behavior, they needn't bother coming to the table.

The 24-yo daughter has learned to give the minimum in order to get by with still being disrespectful to me right under her dad's nose. Whatever. She is out of the house, on her own, living with her BF, and they are getting married in October. (Should be a pleasant event, right?)

The 14-yo, however, is the bigger problem. She is a mini-me of her BM, causing drama & chaos every time she draws a breath. It's in her DNA. She is nice to me when she wants something, say...she wants me to take her shopping for a dress to wear to the 8th grade dance. But, then once I've complied with her needs, she treats me like crap again.

Mother's Day this year was punctuated by a pissy note she left for me on her way out the door to go to BM's house for Mother's Day. At first I tried to rationalize the note away, saying to myself "It's difficult to interpret tone in a note, maybe she didn't really mean for it to sound this way." But after I'd told DH about the note, and he sat her ass down with the 2 of us to confront her about the note, she looked me right in the face and said, "Nope. I meant for the note to be pissy. I thought you were being pissy to me that day."

Yeah, I was definitely being pissy. I asked her if she'd cleaned off the steps to her room, and she said no. That was the extent of that conversation...yeah, I was being pissy b/c I had the nerve to ask her if she'd done something her dad had asked her to do.

She is a piece of work...as I said, a mini-me of her BM.

Because I don't want this post to become a novel, I'll keep this one short. I could go on on about her heinous behavior toward me, but it doesn't change a thing. She wants to hate me, and it's obvious that hating me is more important to her than loving her dad. Her behavior is not just hurtful to me, it's also hurtful to him...but she doesn't see that, nor would she care.

So, in short, I'm ready to disengage. I'm ready to tell her the next time she wants me to take her shopping, "Sorry, can't do that. I don't do nice things for people who treat me disrespectfully & hatefully. Maybe your awesome mother or your awesome sister can take you shopping and spend their money on you.....because I am no longer doing anything nice for you."

DH would so love it if we could all "just get along", and I don't fault him for wanting that. But it's nothing more than a dream; it will never happen. As long as BM draws breath, she won't allow it. And even if miraculously she were to drop dead today, too much hatred has been instilled in his daughters, and they have done too much damage to me. I'm no longer interested in participating in his dream. At this point, I'm only interested in guarding my heart and my mental well-being.

To say I "hate" my skids would be incorrect. I believe that hate is an emotion that's as strong as love. I choose not to put that much energy or emotion into these hateful, spiteful bitches. They have proven over & over again that they do not deserve my time, energy or emotion. So, I don't hate them. But I have no use for them in my life.

I hate if for my DH, because he deserves so much better than these self-absorbed bitches are giving him. But, as I said, it's apparently more important to them to hate me than it is to love their father.

Thanks for reading/listening, and I'm so grateful to have found this site...where so many of us share the hurt caused by these ungrateful little shits that were spawned before we came into the picture.
Just Tired