Finally
Finally SD14 has gone far enough in her Campaign of Hate against me that DH is seeing the light. Typically, the only way to deal with her is to talk things out in session with her child psychologist, who she's been seeing for almost 4 years since DH & BM split. However, her latest hatefulness was more than DH could deal with on his own, so he set up a session with the psychologist. BUT....SD14 refused to go. Said she had plans with friends that were more important to her than working toward any resolution or find common ground with DH and me.
Okay then.
He has banned her from our home until she decides that working toward common ground with us is important enough to do something about it.
Sadly, she is merely parroting the drivel her BM spews at her. Whatever. She's not gonna be around for a while!
Can I get an AMEN??????
Finding this site has been a
Finding this site has been a life-saver for me. I understand about disengaging and am in the process. Have explained it to DH and he supports me. He still has hope that somehow, some way SD14 will be able to see the light.
Ahem.
I, however, HAVE seen the light and know that this child is merely her mother's minion.
DH & I actually kept the appointment with the child psychologist without SD14. VERY eye-opening for the psychologist. I went on record with the shrink that I've reached my limit and will be disengaging from now on. She seemed a bit shocked. Yeah. You come walk in my shoes with this little hellion for a week, and then we'll discuss it further.
Pffft.
The psychologist was shocked
The psychologist was shocked that he won't be fleecing you guys any longer. Four years? Two months is what I gave a counselor. I would have gone six months maximum if I was positive it was getting fixed.
How long does it take to teach a person the methods they need to use in their particular situation?
Orange County....I'm new
Orange County....I'm new here, but I find your responses to be somewhat...shall we say...unhelpful. You have zero idea of what our situation is. So thanks, but I don't find your insight to be useful in my situation.
Amen!!! She needs a big dose
Amen!!! She needs a big dose of respect, no doubt her useless mother has'nt seen fit to teach her any, I am very happy for you, when So's see the light it is a revelation, keep up the good work.
StepAside, thank you! You are
StepAside, thank you! You are so right! Thanks to all actually for insight, perspective and wisdom that comes from your experiences.
Neither my DH nor I think the child psychologist is all that prepared to deal with the extremes of our situation. The psychologist apparently has more experience with much younger children. However, it's who the SD14 "feels comfortable with"....whatever.
Since SD14 is currently banned from our home until such time as she is willing to work on resolving some things, DH & I do not plan to "celebrate" Father's Day this weekend. We've made plans for ourselves with friends who are coming from out of town to stay with us for a few days.
Interestingly, SD14 mailed her father a Father's Day card that arrived in the mail yesterday. And, not surprisingly, it was all about HER. The message was "Dad, I have to pay you a HUGE compliment! You have an AMAZING daughter!"
I asked DH what he thought when he opened & read the card. He said, "Typical....it's all about her. Just like her mother."
He might actually be seeing the light!
We'll see what her next attempt at triangulation is. This is her pattern. She has a meltdown, is off the charts disrespectful & hateful to me, then when she realizes her daddy is pissed at her behavior, she comes crawling back telling him how much she loves him. Just exactly like her mother used to treat DH when they were married. These kids learn their behavior from watching the adult dynamics.
As for me, disengagement is feeling really good.