O/T Dating again....not good at it.
I recently met a man whom I really like. He is 53, divorced one time and NO KIDS!! YEAH!!!!! We have went out several times and I really like him. Here is the where my jaded and cynical nature comes out.
He is very attentive, complimentary, and wonderful when we go out. He takes me to fabulous places. He is a neurosurgeon so he works a lot. Last night he asked me if I liked him. I said jokingly " mmmmm...I kinda like you." He knew I was playing around. He said. " Well I more than kinda like you." " I want to see you all the time." So that was the first time he verbalized a real interest in me. We havent had sex or done anything besides kiss, though he did invite me to his home after we went out last night. I said " No thanks" He didnt seem upset at all.
He asked me to text him when I got home last night, just to be sure I arrived safe. I texted him when I got home and said " I am home. I had a great time with you. Thanks for dinner and the theater"
He texted me back " Ditto ;)" ( yes, with the winky face)
Today he texts me at 2pm and said " Between surgeries, just wanted to say hi ;)"
OKAY.....is it that he is really busy and cant pick up the phone or what??? What is with the " ditto" text last night.
There have been previous dates where he the same....He is super attentive and just wonderful but then when we arent together, its as if I dont really exist.
I feel like I am obssessing about it now. I keep thinking ok, he is a surgeon so his timing and schedule is much different than mine. Oh and we never go out on weekends because he says he is on call and making rounds. I dont know if I believe this.
I am 100 percent positive he isnt married or living with someone, but I just dont get it.
You guys are always so full of wisdom and suggestions...I am wondering what you guys think.
LOL...no worries. I have real
LOL...no worries. I have real anxiety about even walking into a hospital, so I wont be doing that. I guess, I will just wait and see. I just am not used to the no phone calls and strange texts. Im having a good time though, and thats all that matters right now.
sorry stepmomma, I would
sorry stepmomma, I would never- ever ever do that, lol, that is so crazy:))
I think your reading too much
I think your reading too much into it, don't come across as needy and make a issue out of it.
thanks for the responses..I
thanks for the responses..I havent said a word about it to him. Infact, I have no intention of breathing a word about it to him. I realise its positive I am just hyper vigilant!
Ditto is weird. I dated a guy
Ditto is weird. I dated a guy much older than I before SO and I got together. He was 56, and said weird things like that, too. Maybe it's an age thing?
Next time he sends you a text, send one back that says "Likewise, I'm sure
"
Okay, I used to work in a
Okay, I used to work in a trauma hospital and was good friends with one of the physicians. There were 5 of them in his practice, covering 2 different hospitals for emergencies, plus their weekday office appointments, plus daily rounds at both hospitals. My work required me to try to set up meetings with the physicians in his specialty (along with other specialties) and it was next to impossible. Either they were rounding, had surgery hours, had office hours. the only time I could meet with any of them was during their "on call" hours unless of course a trauma was coming into the ER.
Okay, okay, I was also "guilty" of dating this person once or twice. Nice guy, but no thanks. Anyhoo, so I know what you're talking about. He was always crazy busy, and when he was at work, he was 1000% totally at work, mind and body. And think about it... when this person you're dating is at work, he's a neurosurgeon so has a lot on his mind... maybe he's the type who completely zens himself for work and limits "distractions"??
I personally wouldn't worry about it. I agree that some guys aren't good on phones, and probably less so texting. But it doesn't sound like you're a side dish.
You're dating... not partners
You're dating... not partners for life. you are way reading to much into it.
He texted you mid day - he's thinking about you - take it for what it is.
I'm this guy's age. Be
I'm this guy's age. Be grateful he even knows how to text. I'm also a heavyweight professional like he is. People with jobs like this do not communicate with SOs during the working day. And get what this guy does -- he's had the ultimate responsibility over patient's lives in his working day. Besides which, he sounds like a perfectly standard guy not wanting to text sweet nothings and not having time to voice them during the working day either. At the age he is, one does not need to be on the phone for hours billing and cooing. I think his face-to-face expression of interest in you on the other hand is really adorable and sounds hopeful. Especially not pressuring you when he invited you home. He sounds genuine.
Don't worry about the lack of texting and, as you say, I wouldn't even challenge it because it's not something you need. It's just an issue of communication style.
Just be amazed that a guy this mature with this sort of job has not been snapped up before you got your hands on him. Hope there's not an awful backstory, but there's nothing you've said as yet that gives me any cause for concern just listening to your account.
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I think you need to give it
I think you need to give it some time.When I started dating again after breaking up with my exhb of 15 years, I found dating quite scary though exciting and overinterpreted a lot, too:)Just try to relax and enjoy the process, and as someone else says, it is dating rather than being in a relationship (yet:)...Don't do the mistake that one of my male buddies does- he starts behaving pretty much immediately as if he is already in a relationship with the person who he is dating .Many of the ladies he meets feel therefore overwhelmed and duck out before he had the chance to prove what a nice bloke he is.Don't do that, just practice patience, enjoy being a bit mysterious and don't be too needy either.I know that after you have been a long time most people try to apply the rs to someone they just met....but it all needs time to develop. To my mind he sounds interested actually, he is contacting the next day after your date, though he is expressing things less emotional than we women do:)))