My SK no longer live with is, one has her own apartment and is doing wonderfully, the other has decided she is not coming home from college anymore because she is so "uncomfortable" here. We all lived together for 7 years and I was "uncomfortable" for most of those 7. Too bad I never had anywhere to escape to. Looking back, I never should have tolerated how things were but that is beside the point of this post.

The couple times we managed to go on family vacations, DH barely helped at all with the planning. It was all left up to me and keep in mind, YSD disapproves of everything about me. So I was in the enviable position of planning a vacation,and spending thousands of dollars just to listen to YSD show her disapproval with the accommodations. Sadly she would often get my BD on her bandwagon. It was like I was their paid entertainment director who should have been fired, without the pay and without being able to leave because I was fired. DH just happily sat in the middle, appeasing and cajoling YSD while she made the rest if us "uncomfortable".

I will never go on another vacation with her. If DH feels bad about that, he can stay home. The me of 7 years ago would never have said all these things. 7 years of YSD being allowed to look down her nose in disdain finally resulted in me standing up for myself and refusing to have a miserable life. I am so glad she decided it is too awful here to come back, now that I am over my feelings being hurt because I tried so hard for so long. It is liberating not to care what she thinks. When I first found step talk, I was still mourning the family that almost was. Now I will never risk my own emotional, physical and mental health again to someone who'd just as soon squash me like a bug. How did I not see this for so long???

There should be a mandatory stepmom course before remarrying to help teach us how to care for ourselves in a hostile environment. I have ended up with a stress induced medical problem that I only hope will improve with new self care measures in place.

So book your own vacations, fellow stepmoms! Book them when skids are otherwise occupied so you don't end up like me in 7 years. I've wasted a lot of time, stress and tears over a situation that never would have worked out because YSD had her own agenda all along.