How old is he?

SD used to do this when she was younger (she was 2). Everytime dh wanted her to do something (clean up her toys, take a bath, go to bed), she would start whining "I need to cuddle". He fell for it for weeks. I finally had to point out the pattern to him. He started saying "fine, we can cuddle AFTER you do a, b, c." Funny, she didn't need to cuddle much after that. Of course, she had a number of tummy aches for the first few days until I had to point out that she was smart enough to change tactics. BM, of course, fell for this crap all the time and was convinced her precious angel had severe seperation anxiety because she "hangs on me all the time". 6 years later and her mother still hasn't figured out the manipulation.

Fortunately, no one expect me to hug her. Ever.

Teach him the fist bump. I'm serious. Or a secret handshake only for the two of you.

I work with mental health clients and hugging is crossing too much of a boundary, but for those who are developmentally disabled and honestly and innocently want hugs, sometimes we'll teach them the fist bump.

That way you aren't shutting them down and get to feel special but it's less invasive for you.

Reminds me of college. I hung out with these two girls a lot who were CONSTANTLY hugging. Now, I'm not against hugging at appropriate times, but these girls want to hug hello and goodbye when we often saw each other multiple time a day!! It was ridiculous. They immediately dubbed me as the "hug hater". hahahahahaha! I work with one of those girls now, and she recently was surprised when she saw me hug someone and commented how I hated hugs. I said, "no, I like hugging appropriately, you two took hugging to a whole new level!" LOL

my ss8 is a 'hugger' and he wants to hug a lot, i let him hug me but i don't really touch him or hug back. it's weird to touch or hug other people's kids, and i'm a teacher so i'm kind of 'hands off' when it comes to kids anyway (except my own bio kids, i can hug them all day long)

Mines a kisser. Constantly trying to tug at your face to give kisses. I'm all for affection, but when she's told the adults need a little space she tries like Hades to invade the space because she just wants to kiss... Yesterday es kind of embarrassing because we were at the store, she was riding in the cart as I was pushing... She got in trouble for the I wants... So after telling her to behave or we would wait for dad in the car she grabs me round the neck holding me close to her face and proceeds to try and kiss my cheek a dozen times in a row. I tried pulling back, but she had a death grip. Lol

The other one is when she's supposed to clean her room, go to bed, let adults talk, or stop whining she always tries to get the last word in backtalk, when she's interrupted mid whine she says; but I was just gonna say I love you.

Argh. No, you weren't. You were trying to be a brat and were cut off.

I'm all for kisses and affection, but I hate the manipulation! 5 is way to young to manipulate your way through life.

On the other hand, she plays the tear card with dad. Dh caters to her crying (yes we fight about it) so she's learned work out a piss fit and dad will kiss her butt. It makes me mad as hell I can literally see the flip switch. Example, I'll be running the dinner show, dad will be in the other room. I'll tell her to use proper manners. Shell say ok, dad will walk in the room she'll revert to the bad habit, once again I'll tell her to eat proper, oh hell then she's starts crying, face will go red... She'll refuse to acknowledge us until daddy says its ok baby, you don't have to _____. Argh. She knows he's a pushover. He's getting better at realizing she's playing him, but he created this monster.

Sad, when daddy's gone, she's a good kid. When daddy's home she is a brat. Heaven forbid they're alone. He can't stand her behavior. He almost always refuses to be alone with her because she doesn't listen, and if gosh forbid I force him to care for her, he complains about what a snot she is. How she never listens. Etc. I've told him before, that's the behaviour you rewarded, that's what she uses on you.
I demanded better behaviour and praise her when she's good. Give her healthy attention, she doesn't need to act out for me to talk to her.

I remember when we used to have the kids my SS6 would constantly tell my boyfriend that he loves him, very sweet right? Not when it's literally like 15 times in a two minute period, I felt like he was needing that reassurance from his Daddy that he does in fact love him too since BM has told him otherwise constantly for the short duration of his life. I used to get so annoyed it was like just shut up, I know that sounds awful but I think it was such a stressful time in this little boy's life he had to be reassured.

SD7 does the "huggggggs daaaadddddyyyyyyy!!!" at bed time, but thank god that has stopped for the most part through out the day. A new behavior has developed though which I think is much worse because it's in public! Anytime we go anywhere, and SD7 is done..eating, playing, whatever, she comes over to DH, puts her hands on his face, turns it toward her, and kisses him. ON the lips. The first time I thought "Oh lord I'm losing my mind! I thought I just saw that!" But it was really real. She does it at least once EVERYTIME we are in public! DH seems truly embarrassed whenever it happens, but doesn't do much to discourage it except to tell her "that's enough, go sit down". So it can get worse than HUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSS!!!

my sd8 is a hugger. Second time she met a good friend she snuggled up to her on her couch. Friend was obliging but felt embarrassed and dh doesnt think its a problem. Other friends have commented how needy she is. I give her hugs but she needs constant attention and it gets draining at times. She even hugs her teachers at school and its embarrassing. Ive talked to her myself as dh thinks its everyone else thats the issue not his golden haired hugger. Im coming from a safety point of view as anyone who gives her attention she clings to.

Amazing how many of us have this aversion to manipulative hugging! LOL- I thought I was just a bitch! SD does it totally to be manipulative. When DH used to drop her off at day care, especially if she'd had a bad morning, she'd come running to him and yell, "huggggggiiiiieeeesssss!!!!". DH would say, "no, you don't ask for a hug that way. You are being manipulative because you were behaving poorly this morning" and would leave her there.
I wonder sometimes if the school thinks we're cold, but I really don't care. Today I went to pick her up and they radioed over to the playground to send her over. He gets on the walkie talkie and asks if I'm there because SD is crying saying she doesn't want to get in trouble because of her outfit. Turns out, she put an outfit under her school uniform and then took off her uniform. She thought I'd said she couldn't participate in free dress day (which I would've if I'd thought of it) but what I'd said was "no, you can't wear a dress for free dress day". So when I told her that I'd said she couldn't wear a dress, she stopped the crocodile tears and smiled and started skipping. Right up until the time I told her it wasn't what she'd worn, it was the fact that she'd lied and been sneaky about it. Later, I took the outfit away and said, "say goodbye to this outfit for a while" and the little brat says cheerfully "goodbye!". I'm trying to just let things go with her and thank goodness that DH came home and laid down the law. Much more of a repercussion for not only the clothes but not eating her lunch, etc. Apparently there were other offenses I was unaware of!