Ok, beyond frustrated about Skids..

We have had major issues with things happening around the house and no one knows anything about it.. i.e. blinds being broken, holes in walls, lamps being broken, etc. Normal kid stuff, but nothing that people need to be dishonest abut, right? I mean, I know kids lie sometimes to keep from getting in trouble. I have emphasized with my 9 year old daughter that "if you tell me the truth, I will work with you - if you lie, I won't be as flexible".. this has made a huge difference in how we communicate. I haven't been around my skids since birth, so I get that they aren't programmed the same as my daughter, however I tell them the same message and treat them with the same respect and love, yet they CONSTANTLY lie to me. It is now to the point where they lie to cause fights and this is pushing me beyond my limit of tolerance.

Last Thursday my DH and I were upstairs and the two SS's (10&13) were downstairs.. I walk down the steps and see that the dining room miniblind is yanked all the way up and stuck in that position. I try to fix it, but it's no good.. the wheel inside it is cracked. DH and I ask SS's "how did this happen".. we get a nice "I don't know" from both. Well.. we decide to let it go since we have no proof. Oh, and my biodaughter wasn't home when this happened.

Then Friday.. all hell breaks loose.

I pick up my daughter on my way home from work and get home about 45 minutes earlier than usual. I say hi to the boys and go upstairs to change out of my work clothes. After about 3 minutes SS10 yells up the stairs "someone threw a mini muffin wrapper in the toilet and I flushed it and now it's stuck".. I'm thinking "WTF, why did you flush it".. instead I calmly walk downstairs and look at the situation and ask the logical question of "who threw it in the toilet to begin with?" and I get another round of "wasn't me" and "I don't know".. Now, I know for a fact that there was one pack of mini muffins in the pantry when I left that morning to drop my daughter off at school. She takes one with her every morning for breakfast. I know that she didn't eat the muffins in the short amount of time since I got home because I gave her a snack because she asked for one (and she just doesn't eat that fast).. So... someone is lying and it's one of the Skids. I am not happy.

So I walk over to the kitchen counter to get a glass of water and I notice the counter is COVERED with sprinkles and crumbs froms someone eating a cookie - which isn't a big deal, but can you please clean up your mess?? I ask the question "who ate a cookie" and SS10 says "SK13 did".. I wipe up the mess and go about my business. SIDE NOTE - my daughter is sitting on the couch next to SK10 when he says this.

Well, DH gets home and I brief him on the fact that he needs to unclog a toilet and he asks the boys the same question "who did this" and gets the same answers. So he takes them aside one by one and it's the same story. DH comes over to me while I am in the kitchen and gives me their versions.. he says "SK13 said he only had pistachios as a snack and SK10 had nothing." I'm like "wait a second.. that's not true - SS10 said SS13 had a cookie".. SK10 looks at me and says "No I didn't.. I said I don't know who had a cookie"..

HOLD everything. This is NOT the first time he has pulled this crap of telling me one thing and then claiming he said "I don't know".. He has cause MULTIPLE fights by doing this.

I am now ready to strangle him, but I stay calm (no clue how, but I did).. I say "SK10, you did not say "I don't know" you said your brother ate a cookie - why are you being dishonest?" He argues back and now his dad joins his side saying "he says he didn't say it and I believe him".. My daughter then says "No, SK10 did say that, my mommy and I aren't lying"...
DH says to my daughter that she is "just agreeing with her because she is your mommy".. At this point I am seeing red.

I look at DH and say - your sons are being dishonest. I have no reason to lie. My daughter has no reason to lie. You need to take a step outside of this and look at the facts. He says there are no facts. No one saw the wrapper being put in the toilet. And he didn't hear SK10 say his brother ate the cookie so he can't call him a liar.

Uhmmm.. what about me hearing it? Who the hell am I? Doesn't my word count for anything? Apparently not.

A HUGE fight ensues. And I mean monumental. I am pretty much done. I can't live like this nor will I subject my daughter to an environment where lying and manipulation are ignored and basically rewarded.

So.. my relationship is destroyed.. thank you SK's and DH who lives in denial land. Good luck with your next relationship because it won't last.. you just gave your kids the power to destroy any relationship you have and drive away any female you ever care about.