Frustration!!
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Hello Fellow Step Parents,
I've come because I'm genuinely frustrated with my 4 year old's step sons BM. She babies him to the point where he still acts like a toddler, refuses to do anything himself (he cries if he has to wipe his own bum) and quite literally cannot speak without whining. My husband and I are totally at a loss being that we only have him at our house every other weekend. We do our best to model positive behaviours and curb these negative ones, but we have been unable to make a real dent due to BM's parenting style.
I'm looking for advise, or similar situations...
It's relieving to have a place to vent!!!
There isn't much you can do
There isn't much you can do but keep modeling the better behaviour. When with you make him speak without whining. We had ss potty trained at our house a full year before bm did.
Keep encouraging.g big boy behaviour, making him talk and ask the right way to get what he is asking for.
It's so nice to know someone
It's so nice to know someone else has been through the same things. We also had SS potty trained before BM did...it's just so frustrating to see poor parenting and not be able to really make a difference.
For the whining..... Don't
For the whining..... Don't respond to anything but big boy words.... Tell him, I can't undestands you when you whine, so when you can speak correctly you can come ask again, and then walk away. if you are consistantly with that he should stop the whining.
Lol, but make sure he understands what you mean by whining. My ss was probably almost 6 when he came up to me and asked "what does pestering mean?" After years of me using that word to tell him to stop bothering the cat, his sister, us..... had apparently had no idea what I was talking about.
We do this with my 2 yr old and it works well. Whenever he's whiney or being cranky for no reason.... Sorry hun, I can't understand cranky pants, you need to say it like a big boy. If he continues to whine, I walk away and tell him to come tell me when he calmer downcand can use big boy words.
My bf's girls are babied by
My bf's girls are babied by bm and they are 7 and 8.5. It doesn't get better. Just maintain your expectations and don't give in to the whining. Hopefully he will learn to flip the switch on his behavior when he's with you all because this is a difficult feat, even for the older children who are babied. Good luck!