Do you think your adult SKs might have undiagnosed depression or other isdues?
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I read this forum a lot, and can't help but wonder if a lot of these adult SKs have undiagnosed clinical depression, BOX or NPD.
I also think a lot of them have other undiagnosed issues that can't be completely treated with medicine.
I know that for myself, I have mild clinical depression and anxiety. Once I realized I had a problem, I called my doctor and he helped me immensely. I also spoke with my psychologist and we developedplans to deal with these issues. I was getting worn out by them.
Sorry for the typos. I'm on
Sorry for the typos. I'm on my phone.
SO TRUE! They do not want to
SO TRUE! They do not want to grow up and lead productive lives. They want mommy and daddy to support them forever. I see it with my fiance's kids and I see signs of it in the many of the teens I work with. This generation is really bad in this respect. As a social worker and an affected family member, I do understand that there are real illnesses, both mental and physical, but too many people use them as an excuse. I have a chronic illness and I work every day in a very stressful job. I work with a woman who has severe arthritis, but she comes in every day, even in bad weather. People CAN work, even with mental issues, but it is easy to use as an excuse for those who are lazy, coddled, or entitled.
I used to think my ss had
I used to think my ss had depression, but it only appeared when he had to do something besides video games. I begged his parents to get him help. He went three weeks without showering that is not normal. neither parent wanted to do it and both are guilty of slamming the other and passing my SS. Well I dealt with it until he was a legal age to boot. Not my kid not my problem I didn't break him I don't need to fix him.
My fiance's son has the same
My fiance's son has the same kind of depression. He disgusts me.
WOW, Did I just read my own
WOW, Did I just read my own post? I have gone through exactly that! SD20 is a "legal adult" however, I think she has the mentality of a 14 year old. She told MY sibling just recently that she has to "fight for her fathers attention" and that "he takes my side" She has always treated me as if I was a sibling she was fighting with rather than an adult she should respect. The part that killed me the most was that now she is trying to manipulate MY family into believing her childish schemes. BM is Bipolar and NUTS and refuses to acknowledge she has a problem, SD is the same way.... will it ever end?
See I really don't care if
See I really don't care if they are lazy, overly entitled, or mentally ill. I am not their parent so I just don't care why their lives are so pathetic.
Although I am fully aware that older is a sociopath (for real)and younger has mental health issues I just don't care.
Indeed, my SD always walked
Indeed, my SD always walked around moping like the world was coming to an end. She experienced a lot of trauma between DH and BM after the divorce. I also think she has an eating disorder and has a history of taking laxatives. At this point, she eats only enough to keep her alive.
After all the hell she caused us when she lived here, DH told me that he should have gotten her counseling after the divorce.
Yes, my SD is a poster child
Yes, my SD is a poster child for NPS (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I've read that this occurs when there is extreme shame which was evident when she was a teenager. She is also an only child. She can not be wrong - ever. She can not accept even partial responsiblity for our communication breakdown. She has to be smarter and more clever than anyone else. Otherwise she goes completely ballistic. I was yelled at and had a door slammed in my face because I had the correct answer on Jeopardy.
Yes. She blurted out the
Yes. She blurted out the wrong answer, I blurted out the correct answer. I didn't gloat or rub it in but I am not allowed to be smarter than she is. She goes ballistic. I got the door slammed in my face more than once - sometimes for no reason that I knew of.
I think my fiance's kids have
I think my fiance's kids have attachment disorder. They have many signs of it. His daughter has severe anger issues. Just posted a pic of herself on Facebook, glaring and holding an axe. The problem is his kids wont ever get help. They think they are just fine, and the rest of us are the ones with problems.
That's pretty much how I feel
That's pretty much how I feel now. I used to care about the fact that she was the true victim in her parents' divorce. But that was over 25 years ago. Plenty of time for her to get help but of course, a narcissist believes there is nothing wrong with them. So I doubt she will ever get the help she needs. Like you though, I refuse to be blamed for her crap anymore.
I firmly believe the SS32 has
Many of the skids, and
Many of the skids, and biological parents could have what is called DYSTHYMIA - a low grade, chronic ongoing depression.
I personally feel that my SD is what is called SHAME PRONE personality. This is why she is so very sensitive, and is the underlying cause of some of her other issues such as anorexia.
Also, NARCISSISM runs riot in many young people. Another symptom of the shame prone personality type.
Basically, most of the population could be diagnosed as dysthymic, and shame prone, so I don't think that just skids hold the market on them.
As StepAside said, I don't care any more what they are, as long as they leave me alone and out of my life at much as possible - then we will get along just fine.
My oldest SD 22 is NPD, I'm
My oldest SD 22 is NPD, I'm convinced...as is BM. Youngest SD 17 I think is ok. But, I have never in my life seen anything like oldest SD and BM. It's almost scary bad. I had it for SD 22. She's going to have a hard life. I've tried to get all of that through to DH. He lived with it so long, he doesn't realize how abnormally bad it is!
Regardless of if they do or
Regardless of if they do or do not suffer from any mental disorders or afflictions, as adults, no one can MAKE them do anything.
I Know without a doubt that SD22 has some depression and some level of BiPolar but she flatly refuses to go to a counselor if it is suggested by someone else. She took it upon herself last year to visit the counselor on campus at her school but that only lasted a few visits before the year was over.
Now she either gets mad, or gets watery eyed if we bring it up.
I feel that regardless of who "did the damage", at 18+, it is not OUR place to worry about getting them counseling, especially if they don't want it themselves.
I know I went through a bunch of stuff as a kid, physical abuse, multiple step fathers and a step mother, being forced to live separate from my brother when each parent got one kid. The cold reality I had to accept, and these kids have to accept is, no one gives a shit! You either wallow in self pity and become a junkie or a bum, or you suck it up and get on with life and support yourself. Your mommy is the first and last person that will treat you the way she does.
I can relate to this. The
I can relate to this. The problem is, you can lead a horse to water but as the saying goes.... can't make them drink! My husband suggested therapy for his son and his son got insulted, unfriended him on facebook and has not talked to him since. I understand that mental illness can basically cause you to freeze and do nothing with yourself but i also think there comes a point in ones life where you have to take some personal responsiblity. My own brother uses the bipolar as an excuse to do nothing. My mother enables him and still does. It starts to begin to be used as a crutch, an excuse to stay in limbo. I can't get a job (or fill in blank) because i am depressed.... there is help and medication!
SD29 has been diagnosed with
SD29 has been diagnosed with bi polar, depression, and anxiety. Then she took the meds for all that and tried to kill herself with them on Thanksgiving.
She definitely has issues and those issues are directly related to growing up with crazy ass BM.
However, the past is what it is and it is time to move on. She is almost 30, she can't continue to blame her parents for her actions.
So true! I think my middle SS
So true! I think my middle SS has some major issues. I know he has mentioned anxiety and the last blowout that he had with us, my husband actually suggested to him that he see a therapist. Alot of his baggage i think is from when he was very young and my husbands first marriage was a train wreck. He moved back with his mom at 13 and dropped out of school and basically did nothing with his life. So to make a long story short he is now 36 and has absolutely nothing going for him, no job, no school, nothing. So did this occur because of depression? Maybe, but either way, now i think he has major depression.