VERY encouraging!

IT is inappropriate. I'm at a lost for words. Almost in a cloud "Is this happening?"

Since I can't sleep I'll spend a couple of hours working on my resume and browsing usajobs.gov tonight. It's helped chatting with you.

First of all, congratulations on your business!

I guess nothing. It's all just happening and I'm shell-shocked and have to come up with a game plan. Yes, I put in an ENORMOUS amount of time, effort and energy into the business. Furthermore, I know I'm going to also be responsible for any tax bill. Ashamed. He should be, but I'm set aback by his complete arrogance and the chirping of his voice, "get a job", "when you contribute," "my business"...as if I've done absolutely nothing at all-while in fact I've been there from day one-and care for him and the home while helping. He's never had to hire and accountant. He's never had to hire a web builder, a bookkeeper, business plan writer, receptionist, a graphic designer ect....and I've been at his beck in call.

I'm going to retain an attorney to assert my rights, definitely.

You're right, I do have some marketable skills, and striking out on my own is feasible. It's just devastating seeing my hard work "go down the drain" and seeing myself get cast away like a rag so easily.

It was stupid and apparently foolish. But this scenario? Is this a movie? No, it's my life.

I will contact an attorney first thing Tuesday. The economy is pretty bad for everyone and you're right I'd better get on the ball right away. I have no idea-starting-how I'm going to make initial expenses-even once I get the attorney (which is going to be a challenge in itself (being broke). But, I'll take it one day at a time. I collect alot of vintage I find at thrifts, auctions, and estate sales-so maybe I can make use of those items and sell some things online to stay afloat with the basics I guess.

I'm just in a daze. I couldn't believe he invited her (and she's coming) either. Very smug about it all-despite my obvious distress and uncomfortableness. Furthermore, I didn't mention earlier-in the past she's invited him to visit her (in another state)-and asked him not to bring me. He went (with his brother). Three days gone...he did however leave me with $40.00.

I feel like a fool.

First thing Tuesday. It's going to be a long awkward weekend. I'll keep you posted.

}:) I did about 35 minutes ago. He's so clueless-he won't know until next week sometime. I know FOR SURE when he finds out...he's going to be sick to the stomach and ANGRY. Furthermore, I'm the sole administrator-complete control-he can't even get into email, work orders ect...nothing. In the early morning I'll just go to my sister's house for the rest of the weekend.

OMG! :jawdrop: You're right! I host through GoDaddy so I can go back into admin and get in back up within the hour~

You're absolutely right. I know better and I'm not inept. I thought we were in it "together" and I didn't treat it as a working professional relationship because we are married and had been in a long term relationship for over a decade. One of the biggest mistakes women make is mixing love, duty and money.

Yes, it's embarrassing-I DO NOT HAVE access to the business or his personal bank account. Not on signature or a card. We've been legally married for just about 2 years. Initial equipment was purchased through a Vet program. After that he and I have contributed. On paper, the company is an LLC. He is officer. Before that technically the business (unregistered) was considered a sole proprietorship. We changed the status officially after we got married and the "money account" came about a little over a year later. In total we've been together between 13-14 years. Before the "big" account it was a struggle-getting a new business off the ground. It wasn't until this last account (and the issuance of the first large payment) that his attitude really manifested, the kids came asking and our situation went from "us" to "his" and I apparently became a non-factor. July-present...the last 6 months.

When we shop-we're usually together. He pays. Groceries-whatever. I own my home (before we were married or got together) so there's no mortgage. Basically, for the last 6 months I haven't had any cash to call my own. I know....

This of course, in combination with the kids, is why this thing with the bank card and everything else came to a head.

The site is back up and running. This morning I changed all of the administrative passwords on my home computer after organizing some computer files to inject into my online cloud. Shortly, I'm heading to my sister's and will be able to sort through a bunch of paper work. He left this morning after a he rehashed the conversation from last night. I just let him leave and didn't alert him to anything. He's satisfied because he believes he's "spoken" and that's the end of it. I know he believes without a present job there's not much else I can do except be quiet and go with the flow.

I'm glad your friend is in a better situation now. I know what was made after everything went into that business account I've been pretty much in the dark about exact expenditures. I know he has a stock account as well. Since it's year-end I don't know what he was planning on doing about taxes and who he would have gotten around that with me, but who knows. The truth-I am scared-mostly because the economy is horrible, I'm older (but a wise poster here lifted my spirits about that), and I haven't been in the "workforce" since this business started other than doing what was necessary to help it start rolling. But, it's a blessing that I have a home and won't be on the streets or forced to live with someone else until some type of employment comes along). I worked on my resume some last night and plan on getting some stuff in the pipeline today through the Internet. It'll work out! Thanks!

I'm going to do what I can. The business started in 2005-2006. List of projects will be easy to compile. He can't do anything-except ask for ideals from me, ask for help, ask me to do...and I did (what I was capable of doing legitimately). The website was and is major- alot of work goes into that, but the letter writing, coming up with marketing/advertising, invoicing, taxes, ect..,even helping during the early stages with writing the business plan, doing projections and aiding him with the feasibility study...there's been so much! But, out of his own mouth and this morning. That means NOTHING. It's his business. He started it. I "helped" here and there, but I didn't go out and actually get in the sun and work. He said, "Your contribution isn't worth what you think it is. This is why I don't need a wife. Women want to sit back (without a job) and look for men to take care of them. And you'd better never say anything about what I do for my kids as long as this household isn't missing anything. If you want money-get out there and make it besides being a lazy bitch."

Yeah, he said that this morning. Very unapologetic about it. It's not an exact quote, but you get the point. So, here I sit-without a job (just like he said) wondering which way to go and what to do.

I agree. I just can't believe I put myself in this situation. I don't know-I feel like I'm in the movie, "Waiting to Exhale". He REALLY believes he can and will do whatever he wants for his "girls" as he calls them-no matter their age or need. And I have absolutely nothing to say or do with it. I still don't know exactly what he and the older one have going on-he took a bunch of papers and stored them in one of his trucks (of which I have the keys to not one) and left. There's so much secrecy going on. I did ask him if it's a matter of not contributing why is it that they aren't required or asked to contribute to there own needs. He said, they don't have to because they're his and I'm a grown ass woman that isn't doing anything for him-except being an "anchor around his throat" who's not bring any "cash to the table". He also said, had he not received the big lead through the website something would have popped at some other time.

Really?

This same account-when it did come through-he made every excuse in the world not to do it because he was intimidated. I had to threaten to leave him and give him the initial cash (savings from a previous part-time telemarketing job) to organize his crew and get some other things he needed to initially do the job. After the job was completed-he gave me back my money. About $750.00, of which I used toward tuition fees. The 50Gs he made-he did absolutely what he wanted and was angry at me when I needed help with the remainder of my tuition. He also had purchased a tablet for me-of which this morning-he threw in my face-calling me a "begger without a job". Since this time he's also worked twice more with them netting just about 4000 and he got another job with a government military branch (where I helped write up the bid (something else I help with) and did the billing for) where he made just under $4000. So, since JULY that's about 58000G. He mentioned home repairs. This is true (to be honest) but the total cost on those (which came from those monies) cost MIGHT have been 7000. Do the math. The rest of that money he did (or is doing) absolutely what he wanted to do. I can't factor in regular households-because costs are minimal (500-800) monthly because I don't have a mortgage-all vehicles are owned so there were are no installment payments and he has a SEPARATE monthly income that would have covered (did) anyway. So in other words, since July he's had sole access to over 62Gs. I have $13.76 on a paypal card and he had the nerve this morning to tell me-HE didn't want to be married.

The things that were flowing out of his mouth...all I could do was stand there-trying to fight back tears (didn't want him to relish in the pain I was (and am) feeling-and ask myself "is this really happening"?

And it is.

You're right. I'll see what advice the lawyer gives me on Tuesday. You definitely want to protect yourself and I wish I'd done a better job at protecting myself. I thinks its a good thing that the monies that have been flowing since July have been since we're been married. Resident state laws and the laws under the state in which we were married I believe will work to my advantage. I may even have rights to future earnings from the account.

It's a shame you can't just love a person and enjoy success.

Thanks Dorothy,

You know what makes him even worse than a knob-he's so smug and certain he has the upper hand. He's a d_ ck-weed!

Sure I have...including in this business which is apparent. Had I not-he'd be as broke as he was before. I understand why you're in a second marriage. It's not a matter of spending money on children-it's about SO MUCH MORE-and no one is responsible for taking care of adult children for the rest of their lives. He's not the breadwinner. We won the bread.

I have a daughter. She's worked since she was 14 and supports herself and family. AND she's the same age as the oldest SD. Frankly, my DH is a _ick and his girls are spoiled deadbeats that aren't growing up anything soon. In the end, like he, they and you-good luck with that.

Do your children have access to your bank accounts?

Thanks so much for the advice-really good information. Tomorrow I'm meeting with one and mums the word. I'll have a much better understanding as to where I stand.