Wanted- Woman with no kids who has dealt with step kids!
Ok after reading so many posts by what appear to be level headed, thinking, rational and congnitive women who are about to bail on their relationship I thought I would run a personal of sorts.
I am newly single and have NO KIDS, Zero, Zip, Nada and never want any. I have brown hair and blue eyes, 6'4" tall and 225 lbs and 40 years old. I live in South Louisiana and have no desire to be with anyone that can't seem to understand where my frustration comes from because no one that has never raised someone else's kid even has a damn clue what it is all about.
So I am looking for a woman that is down to earth and easy going with a great sense of humor and a sharp wit.
Only request is that you have NO young kids. Adult children would be ok because I can tell them to take a leap no problem. I just don't want to be another sucker for some woman that needs help raising her kid.
Any takers 
I am not asking anyone to put
I am not asking anyone to put up with my kids. The only kid I have is a adopted SD25 that is on her own now. I have yet to meet a mother that didn't think her kids were great and would be a bit put off if they didn't think such.
So I am venting too you see. I want a woman with no kids that need raising. Been there done that no interested in returning.
Why did you even reply when I explicitly asked for women with no kids?
Sign me up! A man that wants
Sign me up! A man that wants to love me very conditionally, not accept me as I am(kids and all) and apparently has a fragile ego that can't handle my attention being diverted anywhere else??? What rock have you been under all my life??? And why are you still single?????(removing tongue from cheek now)
You go girl.
You go girl.
haha, i don't usually post
haha, i don't usually post (used to be a lurker) but sign me up for a guy who has no kids either, adult or otherwise. whether or not they're involved in your lives, especially when you have none of your own and the entire world before you, which you would have happily given them if (SO and skid) if only they could offer you the same respect in return.
yes, i'd like some conditional love. sounds harsh but sorry, you gotta make EACHOTHER happy, it's a two-way street, and very often only one person's actually working towards it (and i'll give you one guess as to which one it usually is.)
good luck, after i walk out it'll be match.com for me but to each their own.
You probably want to hook up
You probably want to hook up with the "Childless by Choice" websites. We have many BMs with young children on this site who don't know WHAT you are talking about or eluding to. . . :shocked:
Translation: I want to exit
Translation:
I want to exit StepHell and want to date others who have made it out alive from StepHell as well. A common traumatic experience one might say. Like the many clubs that formed entitled "Survivors of the Titanic"
Yeah that's what I gathered
Yeah that's what I gathered also, a tongue in cheek indeed...in other words, we can both commiserate how horrid it is to raise another persons kids...and face it, most of the times it IS LOL
Exactly 2 out of 3 of you got
Exactly 2 out of 3 of you got it at least. People need to work on their reading comprehension skills it seems. I said no one with YOUNG CHILDREN I never said they couldn't have any kids.
And yes I want someone that knows 1st hand what the deal is when it comes to skids. If bio parents can constantly yap about how you just can't understand if it is not your own child. Then Steps should be able to turn it around as well since many people have no idea what it is like to raise someone else's kid!
Honestly what do you think is harder and more testing on a person. To raise a kid you personally conceived and waited 9 months to arrive that you have a natural biological feeling towards. Or to just step in with a young kid you have no connection to other than you're attracted to the kids parent? People always say how hard it is to raise their kids and how much work etc. Well let me assure all you bio parents with no SKIDS that it is all that and a whole lot more when it comes to SKIDS. But just as we non-bio just don't know neither do you so don't pretend you do just because you have a kid of your own.
I took his post as
I took his post as tongue-in-cheek and was about to say, "Sign me up!," also tongue-in-cheek. I think you're all taking it too seriously,
(No subject)
There are plenty of men (and
There are plenty of men (and women) who don't want to support/raise/deal...,with a SO's kid. Kudos those folks for putting it out there from the start.
Nah, he's just looking to
Nah, he's just looking to commiserate
I like it. I think it's good
I like it. I think it's good he has this figured out. It's much better than being secretive about not wanting kids and them trying to ship the skids off to military school or something.
Good lord folks it was half
Good lord folks it was half joking and half truth. The truth is NO I don't want to raise your kids and yes I would appreciate someone that has dealt with raising skids as a Bio Parent is pretty fricking clueless about what it takes to raise someone else's kid.
I know people come here to vent and I have done that myself but I am not here to stir up anything and I am certainly not expecting to find love lol. Just taking a shot that there may be a kindred spirit out there that feels the same.
For those saying conditional love, all love comes with conditions when other peoples kids are concerned if you think otherwise back away from the crack pipe. I know all to well the concept of the "Package Deal" and how once purchased you will be expected to be 50% of the child raising equation yet when things go bad you will find out you were nothing more than a 10% parent at best if you were lucky. Seems to me there are a lot of "conditions" that come with that "unconditional" love after all.
I have been beat down and torn up over all that I have endured these past years. Just trying to bring a little levity to this place. So I can admit I don't want a woman with young kids, nothing against women with young kids personally I just know now what I did not know way back when. That being to run like hell.
Is it really so bad to think there is someone out there that can relate to you and have the same desire to live the rest of their lives for themselves without any conditions? I lived for 2 other people and it didn't work out so well even after over 20 years, so if I am selfish for thinking I deserve some me time for the rest of my life so be it, call me all the names you want. I feel like after raising a daughter for 21 years without ANY support from the bio dad and having her just graduate college that I don't owe anyone in this world an apology nor do I have anything to feel guilty over with my new found outlook on what I want out of life going forward.
One thing you can be sure of with me. You will never be in doubt where I stand on things
I totally feel you on this. I
I totally feel you on this. I always joke around with DH that if we ever get divorced, I have a great deal of empathy for any stepparents my kids might end up with. DH says he'll stay single, so it would only be any man I would get my hooks into. Seriously, I think the only way it works is if the bioparent can separate their love for their biokids (perfectly natural) from their logical brain and realize not all people think their kids are as great as they do. I love my bios with all my heart, but whew boy, there are some days I want to put them in a box with holes punched in it and RUN!
You know, I get the joke but
You know, I get the joke but you've just kind of layed out my biggest fear in my marriage. What if it fails then not only do BM and crazy SS's win but I'm just another BM out there dragging this child that I adore into my relationships with me...some of which he wouldn't be wanted in. What happens if our own beloved children end up being those horrid, dirty, digusting, lying, stealing, etc. steps? It makes me feel ill just thinking about it.
No, no Smileygirl... Don't
No, no Smileygirl... Don't fear what has yet to happen with your own marriage just strive to make sure you never have to worry about it. There are men out there that will accept a woman and her bio child. I did it myself and while I do feel totally used and kicked to the side when no longer needed it didn't change how I went about raising the daughter I adopted and all. I don't think it shines a good light on the EX and Adopted daughter to be how they are being but I sleep just fine at night because I did the right thing. If they were capable of doing the right thing we would still be together as well.
Understand I am just ready for a life without the demands of kids of any kind. Done my time and served my sentence and I know plenty of bio parents that joke about wanting to drop off their kids at the hospital and take off at times lol.
I can understand what you mean about the feeling of "them winning" should something not work out. I have these same feelings in a way but with other issues. There was no BD in the picture for all these years but now he seems to be and is getting more attention than me. I am washing my hands of all of it now as that is all I can do.
I might be brutally honest, especially after all I have been through in my 40 years but I would rather that from people instead of lying misleading people just to get what you think you want for today.
Still not sure about all the
Still not sure about all the acronyms used here what is FDH for?
I noticed there is no way to search a users past posts that might shed some light on things for you. I hate to re-hash it all again here. If I can find it I will link it.
Never really noticed a blog area and I didn't want to chronicle things just vent on some posts.
Don't be sorry for me be happy I am free to do any damn thing I want now. Just have to figure out how to live for myself and a new way of living instead of the same old married with kids routine of daily life. Time to put myself first and get some things done for me. Then maybe I can be more positive in regards to finding someone but in no rush I am only 40, have a good job with a big pharmaceutical company and a nice little house in the country. Thought I have to admit even though it is only around 1700 feet I feel like what does one single guy need all this room for lol.
Here is my first post to this
Here is my first post to this site.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/45068
Lots has happened since this time of course (even more hard to believe blatant disrespect by the ex and in-laws) and I am still not over it completely but that is where the moving on comes into play.
Now back to the OP topic.. I have a cruise for 2 to take and I need a date lol
I am glad some of you understand where I am coming from I know I can't be the only one that feels these ways after living the life.
There's a way to check user
There's a way to check user posts, just a bit roundabout. That search sidebar on the right--just type in the username and it will show all instances where it appears, including posts and responses. Hope that helped!
Honestly, I say he got out lucky, only wasted a decade or two and didn't end up having a BK with his ex. Imagine how insane THAT would be. So he's pretty much got a blank slate now and if he has conditions about what he wants in a perfect mate (like we all do) then look for her, and I sincerely hope he finds her--give some hope to the rest of us!
At freakin' 22 with no kids of my own, his scenario, if everything were to break down between me and my SO like it probably will at this rate, would be the best I could hope for. Loved this post. Thought it was hilarious and read my mind.
Here is my first post to this
Here is my first post to this site.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/45068
Lots has happened since this time of course (even more hard to believe blatant disrespect by the ex and in-laws) and I am still not over it completely but that is where the moving on comes into play.
Now back to the OP topic.. I have a cruise for 2 to take and I need a date lol
I am glad some of you understand where I am coming from I know I can't be the only one that feels these ways after living the life.
Things are okay here for now
Things are okay here for now but keep me in mind.
Unconditional love is for dogs and babies. Other humans have to earn my love.